Why so easy for nanny and DH?

[AJHCFamily]

DS is easy peasy for his sitters and mostly for DH. Not so for me! I WAH part-time about 20 hours per week so get to overhear him.

Diaper changes have been a nightmare since he could wiggle around about 3 months. He screams, protests, gets angry, you name it....mostly WITH ME! I have asked our sitters (we have 2 regular sitters in our home) if they  have any tricks. They aren't doing anything special. I've tried different ways, locales, times of day, etc. Every once in a while he protests for his sitters, but gives in easily. Same story for getting dressed, eating, sleeping, getting in carseat or stroller, pretty much anything! I am a pretty calm, quiet, gentle person. I sing to him, play silly games, give him lots of snuggles, BF. This is my second child and I would like to think I know a thing or two about kids after years with younger siblings, babysitting, and DD! What's the deal? I know kids can be harder for mom, but my little guy is taking it to a new level. This doesn't seem to be a temporary thing either.

Some background: DS (1 yr) has a temper. He has had one since his early weeks. He is a happy, silly baby, but also full of screams, yells, etc. when not happy. We went through colic from month 3 - 5. He is a mover, loves to be chased, leave the room and wait for you to follow him. He loves to eat food and nurses well, but not obsessively as DD did. Is it crazy to think maybe it's the nursing? It seems to be the only major thing that I do for him that his sitters and DH don't, but his behavior is not just challenging with sleep...it's everything! O, and DH can put him to bed and back to bed during the night easily (most of the time). For me, you can only imagine. Does he not like me??? I feel so silly even thinking that. DH says he goes nuts with love just being around me.

Anyone else experienced this? Advice? Simple tricks? Psychoanalysis? Whatever you have for me, I'll take it!

[EnchantedMamma]

I get a milder version of this too. I think we are just their safe place/soft place to fall. They know they can vent and 'abuse' us and that we will give them our all... At least, that's the best I can come up with!

Well, one other thing. I think that as a mother our relationship and bond with our children is off the charts intense. That creates a certain amount of stress/tension (more for some people than others) that the child will undoubtedly pick up on and play off of.

Due to your description of your child I would recommend that you look at books that specifically address your child's behavior/personality type. I'm thinking in particular of books about 'Spirited Children'.

While he may always treat you differently, he still needs to use acceptable behavior (you mentioned that he has a 'temper').

Good luck!

[justKate]

My DD is the same way.  She's 2 now, and it has gotten better.  Actually, I laugh at people who call it the "terrible twos."  Our twos are NOTHING like the first two years.

FWIW, I think this is just my DD's personality.  She is INTENSE in every way, but in the extreme with me.  I try to think of it as her getting frustration out in a safe way--with mommy, who is the safest place of all.  That's the best i can do.  As far as books about spirited kids, I agree, they're a great starting point, but a lot of what you'll read is more applicable to verbal toddlers and pre-schoolers.  The concepts are the same, but the coping mechanisms are difficult because a lot of it has to do with talking through things.... Just my

On the bright side, I bet your DS's "highs" are extra high and wonderful too!

[Super~Single~Mama]

My DS does this too, but I'm a single mom so when he's with me we have bad bad bad days sometimes (other days are fabulous and wonderful, and we always have at least several good moments a day - its not all bad), but when he's with his dad for weekend visits, he does GREAT.  It's insane to see the difference.  And, he's a doll for daycare - I get glowing reports on how well he listens, and behaves, and how sweet and wonderful he is - they never ever say anything bad!  Ugh.  It's tough.

I'm sure your ds does love you though - don't let that worry you.