Good gravy, who writes these daycare forms?

[ProtoLawyer]

So, yay, my husband (a SAHD for the last several months) won his election and will start his position full-time in a week or two. We're enrolling our son in daycare, and I am filling out the startup forms now.  I think applying for my law license was less involved than this.

Of note is a 4-page "intake for child under 2 years" form that has been issued by the state. In addition to the usual contact and health information, there are a million questions about meals, diapering, activities. My lawyer brain and snark brain are competing to answer. I've written "it depends" about 100 times.

"Favorite indoor toys and activities"--Nursing is probably not what they want to hear, nor is 'eating mom's glasses and the DVR remote.' It depends. Sometimes, he just wants to be cuddled, and other times, if he can touch it it's fun.

Listing his "favorite foods" is pointless, because no daycare center in Wisconsin will serve an 8-month-old barbecue pork. Or dog hair. It depends.

I have already written "define 'feeds self'" in the margins. It depends.

I have no idea what times of day he poops. It depends. Do people really keep track of this stuff?

This form assumes we have a schedule and we keep track of it. Sure, he has rhythms, but I'm trying to create something from whole cloth.

"Describe your child's personality." He's the son of a lawyer and a politician, and that is readily apparent, even at this young age. He cooed and giggled when the daycare director said the word "accreditation." I am certain his first two-word sentence will be "it depends."

Oh, and there are a bunch of other forms, too--I have to fill out a USDA statement for free/reduced meals (meals are included for all daycare children, but they have a school-age program where meals are optional), but I don't have to give my SSN or income because we don't qualify anyway, but I still need to fill it out.

I have acknowledged that my son will be withdrawn, no refunds, if he brings weapons or illegal drugs to the center. Awesome.

Yeah, I know *why* these forms are as they are, but wow...

[HollyBearsMom]

Proto- I am seriously cracking up over here!   

oh and congrats to your husband!

[goinggreengirl]

Wow. I do have to laugh at the weapons/ illegal drugs thing... Do they have a big problem with 8 month olds bringing those in? And I totally get you on the favorite foods- I don't think they would accept carpet fuzz and mommy's milk as answers for my 1 year old.

[ProtoLawyer]

Originally Posted by goinggreengirl 

Wow. I do have to laugh at the weapons/ illegal drugs thing... Do they have a big problem with 8 month olds bringing those in? And I totally get you on the favorite foods- I don't think they would accept carpet fuzz and mommy's milk as answers for my 1 year old.

I think that the weapons/drugs thing is more for the school age kids, as well as their parents/caregivers (we're not allowed to bring weapons or drugs on the premises, either).
But yeah.

They also ask about his favorite outdoor activities--it's the end of winter here, he's not mobile, he really doesn't have outdoor activities other than walks in the stroller or Ergo. Ask again later?

[blizzard_babe]

I had similar thoughts filling out an application for the preschool DS1 probably won't go to next year.

"Please tell us about your child (likes, dislikes, or any information that will be helpful to our staff)" I typed out like three paragraphs, and then realized that that was ridiculous. I don't even remember what ended up submitting. I think a sentence or two because... how do you answer that?

"Do you want your child to take a nap?" Lord, yes, but I don't think he will and if you mention "nap" to him, he becomes quite obstinate. I checked "no." Better they just tell him it's "quiet" time.

[Phoenix~Mama]

OMG!  I was seriously laughing aloud reading this... because yea!!  I had the same exact thoughts when I had to fill out all of those forms when my kids were at a center too.   And I had the same thought, "um... am I supposed to keep track of some of this stuff?  really?"  And I don't do schedules... so when they asked what time he ate and how much he ate... um... it depends?   LOL!   So true!!! 

I also had to sign about acknowledgement about getting kicked out for weapons and drugs... gotta watch those 2 year olds and 3 month olds.  LOL!  The sad part is... the center only went up to I think 8 years old.  And this was in a good district.  I know it's all legal protocol, but still...

A huge Congrats to your DH!!!  :D

[justKate]

I love how (in my state) parents of infants have to fill out the feeding form every month.  It's obnoxious.  Like I'm going to forget to mention something to you.  How about you just feed her whatever I bring?  That's what you're going to do anyway, right?

Thanks.

[LittleBirdy]

Totally hear you!  The one question I remember from when I enrolled DS (at 3 months) was, "What would you like us to work on with your child at <name of daycare>?"  Ummmm... he's three months old!  I think I wrote "help him become a better napper" which cracks me up now.  Back then I thought his craptastic napping was something I was doing wrong, and of course those experienced professionals would have him going down awake in his crib and sleeping for 2 hours at a time in a matter of weeks!

And our daycare made us disclose income on the USDA form even though we didn't qualify!  I left DH's part blank because he is 50/50 with base salary & commission so I never know what sort of estimate to put down.  We were in the daycare director's office and she asked him for his income and of course he gave a high estimate and she shot me this look like, "You're going back to work why?"  (The answer to which is that DH has a high income potential and a job that is totally not secure, thankyouverymuch. )

[justKate]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LittleBirdy 

And our daycare made us disclose income on the USDA form even though we didn't qualify!  I left DH's part blank because he is 50/50 with base salary & commission so I never know what sort of estimate to put down.  We were in the daycare director's office and she asked him for his income and of course he gave a high estimate and she shot me this look like, "You're going back to work why?"  (The answer to which is that DH has a high income potential and a job that is totally not secure, thankyouverymuch. )

Lovely.

I think i just wrote N/A in all of the blanks.  When did "none of your business" become socially awkward?

[ProtoLawyer]

Originally Posted by LittleBirdy 

Totally hear you!  The one question I remember from when I enrolled DS (at 3 months) was, "What would you like us to work on with your child at <name of daycare>?"  Ummmm... he's three months old!  I think I wrote "help him become a better napper" which cracks me up now.  Back then I thought his craptastic napping was something I was doing wrong, and of course those experienced professionals would have him going down awake in his crib and sleeping for 2 hours at a time in a matter of weeks!

And our daycare made us disclose income on the USDA form even though we didn't qualify!  I left DH's part blank because he is 50/50 with base salary & commission so I never know what sort of estimate to put down.  We were in the daycare director's office and she asked him for his income and of course he gave a high estimate and she shot me this look like, "You're going back to work why?"  (The answer to which is that DH has a high income potential and a job that is totally not secure, thankyouverymuch. )

My stepdaughter's daycare asked the "what do you want us to work on?" question when she was 2-3 and about to move to the "preschool" room. Her mom wrote something about giving up the pacifier, but the daycare seemed to want something more like letters or colors.

My husband's the one going back to work after a fairly long absence (he finished school and didn't get a job by the time I had the baby), and for some reason, nobody ever asks him why he's working. I've been asked a time or two, and successfully resisted the urge to yell that I would go absolutely positively bonkers as a SAHM. (It's not the M part, it's the SAH part--I do not do well, mentally, when I have too much unstructured time, without an externally imposed schedule.)
 

[tessie]

Oh gosh, that reminds me I must fill out an update sheet. I really don't see the point, I'm sure that by now they know her as well as I do.

The one thing I do love is that they keep a huge folder on each child with their achievements, goals, photographs and examples of their 'work'. I bring it home every couple of months to look through and it makes me smile every time.

[LittleBirdy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ProtoLawyer 

My husband's the one going back to work after a fairly long absence (he finished school and didn't get a job by the time I had the baby), and for some reason, nobody ever asks him why he's working. I've been asked a time or two, and successfully resisted the urge to yell that I would go absolutely positively bonkers as a SAHM. (It's not the M part, it's the SAH part--I do not do well, mentally, when I have too much unstructured time, without an externally imposed schedule.)
 

Oddly enough during that same visit with the daycare director she found out that DH is a WAHP and asked why we were putting him in daycare.  First off, he's in sales so while he works from a home office he's travelling a lot going to meetings, but on top of that... uh, babies are a full time job by themselves.  I think any parent would be hard pressed to work FT and stay at home FT without at the very least having a part time nanny or something.  With an infant/toddler, that is.  (Btw I know this sounds like I hate my daycare; I don't.  The director can be a little busybody-ish but she loves the kids, as do the rest of the staff.)

[One_Girl]

My dd's daycare did the forms and a home visit and I loved that they wanted to know so much about her even though some of the questions were hard to answer.  Her kindergarten teacher did the same thing as a get to know the children thing before the beginning of the year.  Even though the forms are sometimes intense I have noticed that the places where they do this have a much nicer atmosphere in general than the places where they don't make any effort to even send out a form.  We have a short form where I work and it really does help to refer to, especially with young children who aren't very verbal.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by ProtoLawyer 

My husband's the one going back to work after a fairly long absence (he finished school and didn't get a job by the time I had the baby), and for some reason, nobody ever asks him why he's working. I've been asked a time or two, and successfully resisted the urge to yell that I would go absolutely positively bonkers as a SAHM. (It's not the M part, it's the SAH part--I do not do well, mentally, when I have too much unstructured time, without an externally imposed schedule.)
 

Hmmm.....is this why we're both in the legal feild?  (I'm not a lawyer yet.  I'm waiting to find out if I passed the bar.  Then I get to do Character and Fitness.  YAY!)