So, yay, my husband (a SAHD for the last several months) won his election and will start his position full-time in a week or two. We're enrolling our son in daycare, and I am filling out the startup forms now. I think applying for my law license was less involved than this.
Of note is a 4-page "intake for child under 2 years" form that has been issued by the state. In addition to the usual contact and health information, there are a million questions about meals, diapering, activities. My lawyer brain and snark brain are competing to answer. I've written "it depends" about 100 times.
"Favorite indoor toys and activities"--Nursing is probably not what they want to hear, nor is 'eating mom's glasses and the DVR remote.' It depends. Sometimes, he just wants to be cuddled, and other times, if he can touch it it's fun.
Listing his "favorite foods" is pointless, because no daycare center in Wisconsin will serve an 8-month-old barbecue pork. Or dog hair. It depends.
I have already written "define 'feeds self'" in the margins. It depends.
I have no idea what times of day he poops. It depends. Do people really keep track of this stuff?
This form assumes we have a schedule and we keep track of it. Sure, he has rhythms, but I'm trying to create something from whole cloth.
"Describe your child's personality." He's the son of a lawyer and a politician, and that is readily apparent, even at this young age. He cooed and giggled when the daycare director said the word "accreditation." I am certain his first two-word sentence will be "it depends."
Oh, and there are a bunch of other forms, too--I have to fill out a USDA statement for free/reduced meals (meals are included for all daycare children, but they have a school-age program where meals are optional), but I don't have to give my SSN or income because we don't qualify anyway, but I still need to fill it out.
I have acknowledged that my son will be withdrawn, no refunds, if he brings weapons or illegal drugs to the center. Awesome.
Yeah, I know *why* these forms are as they are, but wow...