Oh, I am so happy about something... my DH is totally onboard for a lot of changes now. We're going to try grain-free as a family (I'm grain free but DH and DD aren't). I don't know if grains have anything to do with the cavities (probably only indirectly perhaps) but it's a good catalyst for change I've wanted to make for a while. Also, after reading comments here about making sure all of them need to be filled or whatever (and I know most dentists pretty much only know how to drill and fill, so the old "when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail" proverb applies) it brought to the surface a concern I had that I couldn't really articulate. I was feeling that we were going to get everything drilled and filled but not really *fixed*. 2 hours away from here is a holistic dentist who is seriously the best doctor I've ever had (of any specialty) and it's not just because he's holistic and woo-woo and therefore fits into my crunchy life view. I really was so impressed by his thorough knowledge, his thoroughness, the way he explained things to me (and he explained a LOT of things). So I asked DH what he thought about maybe taking DD to see him instead, and I was kind of tentative about it (and it's inconvenient, 2 hours away, and not that cheap either) but he was onboard. He too wanted to see someone we could trust, and if this guy tells me that X number of teeth need to be filled (and there is no doubt in my mind that at least 2 do... I can see them plain as day and I have low vision) then I will believe him. Even if he says all 10. I will believe him, because I trust him. I don't know or trust this new dentist, and honestly I think the majority of dentists don't know anything about health. Anyway, I'm just happy that, as awful as this is, it may be something that will change things overall for the better. Oh, DH is also onboard for switching to raw milk.
I personally suspect that the theory that the bacteria in our mouths are transferred (and thus, in a strange way, cavities might be sort of "contagious" - though that's simplifying of course) is a big factor. So I think our jobs are to help strengthen DD's immune system and body overall (and believe me, cavities are only part of the story, there's more). I don't know if we can heal any cavities, but I do hope to at least prevent them in the future, or at the very least, reduce new ones. This dentist we'll see believes it's possible to heal cavities, though in practice it probably happens only rarely, but at least he's a guy we can trust on that account. Let's say he looks at DD and says, yes, there's 10 cavities but 3 do not need to be drilled. But we need to watch them, and here's my recommendations for trying to heal them. So if we come back in 3 months or whatever, he'll look, and he'll actually tell us if there's any improvement, or at least if we've arrested the decay. Most dentists would probably laugh at us, or just look and say nope, gotta drill.
Sorry for the disjointed post.