Baby's Developmental Frustrations

[Laurski]

So...DD has reached that magical stage (7 months for her...I'd imagine it varies depending on the LO) where what she *wants* to do doesn't yet match up with what she *can* do.  Right now sitting up on her own is a major source of consternation, as is wanting to crawl forward (but instead she just rolls onto her back).

My question is this--how do you mamas handle the tears that sometimes come with the frustration?  I know they're not because she's hungry, or tired, or needing cuddles, or has a dirty diaper, or any of those types of things I can fix.  She's just frustrated, plain and simple.

Do you let your LO keep trying and cry for a bit before you intervene?  Do you intervene once the crying starts?  (Sometimes with DD the attempt is brief and the crying is immediate, depending on her mood.)  I'm trying to figure out how to help her through this without hindering her ability to figure out how to do things on her own...

Thanks!

[Knitting Mama]

Oh, man, I sooooooo remember this stage. For me I worked with it with lots of cuddles, and talking to her about how soon enough she'd be moving forward and be so much happier. Poor babies! You know that they can think more than they can physically do! Distraction often helped too, like if she was getting really frustrated, I'd bring her outside or even to another room to play, and take her mind off of her frustration.

[Amanda_Reyasmom]

Us too!  Seconds before this pic she was facing the couch so pleased that she's pulled herself up.  Next thing I know she's on the floor *mad* I don't even know why!  She'll try to push herself off on the couch, or she slides backwards on the floor.  She REALLY wants to move forward! I agree with the previous poster.  Distraction is the way to go.  Sometimes I stick her in the sling, other times I get on the floor and we play puppets ect.  Leaving her on the floor isn't an option.  She'll just scream more.  Putting her in the exersaucer doesn't work either.. she's got to be engaged. 

[Ginger Bean]

My son just turned 7 months old and is the same way. Plus, he's starting the separation anxiety thing.

I let him try on his own to do things, but if he starts to get worked up, I will just hand him the toy he's reaching for, etc.

He can sit and is happy to do that. I used to prop him with a nursing pillow around him though, when he couldn't quite manage it on his own yet. Even now I sometimes sit him in a laundry basket (sheepish) -- the tears really flow when he wants to be on his tummy but instead just does a face plant on the floor.

What seems to help a lot is going outside, especially in the sling so he can feel tall and look around. It seems to satisfy his curiosity. He loves smiling at shop clerks. :)

[newmamalizzy]

I generally let DD (now 12 months) grunt and grumble, but intervened when she started to actually cry.  Distraction method here, too, or just helping her to do whatever it was she was trying to do but couldn't manage yet.  This phase didn't last too long for us - hopefully it won't for you, either!  Once they start to crawl the frustration really lessens.

[Laurski]

Thanks for your replies, everybody!  Good to know we're not alone in struggling through this stage...and *great* to know that it *will* pass...eventually!

And thanks for letting me know that distraction is the way to go.  That's pretty much what I've been doing, but I didn't know if there was something else I should be doing...

(And Cecilia's Mama--you're so right about them thinking so much more than they can physically do.  Sometimes it's simultaneously funny and heartbreaking to watch her work so hard to try to figure out something new, and then still not be able to do it!)

[Calliope84]

LUCKY!!! I feel like I've been dealing with this since she was around 6 weeks (or before.) She is 4.5 months now.

I will let her get slightly frustrated, usually, because I have found that she will sometimes figure it out for herself. (Ex: a toy is slightly out of reach, she fusses, then realizes she can reach it.) 

She keeps lunging forward onto her stomach from sitting position, so if she is happy there I leave her, but if she fusses I sit her back up pretty quickly. I know she can't crawl yet. When I see signs that crawling is near I'll let her work it out a little more. I basically just decide on a case by case basis what to do. I can tell pretty well at this point if she needs to sleep, eat, or just needs a different toy. Cuddling definitely helps, too, if she gets really worked up and frustrated but I usually try to get to her before that happens.

[MacKinnon]

It's all of these 7 month olds! Yep, we're there too, but her big brother and sister help a lot with the frustration. They'll get down on the floor and lay head to head with her, or keep returning the toy that rolls out of reach. We've found some good in-between's for her. Like even though she's big enough not to need the support of the boppy on her tummy, she can use the leverage of having her tummy up to push forward and reach things that are further away. But, in the end, I let her go until she cries, and pick her up, or resettle her, and try again. She'll be crawling, like tomorrow it seems, and this won't be an issue so much! Then it will be much harder because I'll set her down and she'll disappear to pick up and eat Playmobil pieces her brother left out!

[Laurski]

Originally Posted by MacKinnon 

It's all of these 7 month olds! Yep, we're there too, but her big brother and sister help a lot with the frustration. They'll get down on the floor and lay head to head with her, or keep returning the toy that rolls out of reach. We've found some good in-between's for her. Like even though she's big enough not to need the support of the boppy on her tummy, she can use the leverage of having her tummy up to push forward and reach things that are further away. But, in the end, I let her go until she cries, and pick her up, or resettle her, and try again. She'll be crawling, like tomorrow it seems, and this won't be an issue so much! Then it will be much harder because I'll set her down and she'll disappear to pick up and eat Playmobil pieces her brother left out!

Awww...your DCs sound so sweet!  What a lucky baby to have such great older siblings.

Unfortunately, we only have a dog, so he's not quite as able to help her work through her frustrations (although he is an excellent source of distraction for her...if she's in the midst of gearing up for a frustration meltdown and she sees him, she's all sunshine and giggles.  I keep telling DH  that we just need to teach her how to play fetch with the dog and all of our parenting duties (both dog and human) will be finished! )