What do I do from here?

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DD is 10.5 months old. My original goal with BFing was to make it to a year but I never thought much past that. Now we are only 6 weeks away from a year and I am wondering what to do next. DD loves to eat solid foods. We have done BLW and I have to force her to slow down and nurse during the day. She would prefer to nurse only at night and things became so difficult we gently moved her out of our bed to her crib over the past couple months. (I know that is probably not a popular decision here but it was what needed to happen for our family.) Now that she can't nurse all night long she is happy to nurse first thing in the morning, before her two naps, at bedtime, and once overnight. She is a distracted nurser for a couple of sessions during the day when I offer her before lunch and dinner and will only nurse for a short time at those times.

I never thought much about what happens after a year. I think she would be happy to drop her daytime nursing sessions and only nurse to sleep and first thing in the morning but I am unclear about how that impacts her nutrition. I know that breast milk or formula is to be her primary nutrition until she is 1 year old but what happens after that? If she only nurses a couple times a day after she turns 1 will I have to give her cows milk, too? Do I continue to "make her" slow down and nurse before I feed her solid foods during the day after she turns 1? 

I'm just trying to educate myself as I sort out my feeling about what to do next. I love BFing and would like to continue but I want to know more about it all impacts her nutrition. DH is supportive of BFing but his parents are quite hostile toward it. I have been able to end their complaints that I am holding her back by not offering her more solid food and continuing to make her nurse when I remind them that milk or formula is to be her primary nutrition until she is 1 but I'm not sure that I know enough to fight with them if we continue to nurse into toddlerhood. 

Whew! That's a bit of a novel. Thanks for reading and any advice is appreciated.

[Chloe'sMama]

Good going mama!  

I am sure other's have more info, but DD1 had a very 'distracted' time while nursing from 9-11 months.  Your DD may become more interested where you don't need to offer.  I think any milk is good for them after 1 year and I would see how she leads!  

I am still nursing my almost 3 year old (as well as my 7 month old) and my parents have been less than supportive.  I just don't talk to them about it.  I do have a doc that gives me the thumbs up for nursing the toddler, so I use that too if they get pushy.

Good luck!

[Chloe'sMama]

Also, I didn't give DD1 any milk until after 18 months or so because I was nursing 4-6 times a day.... She got cheese and yogurt sometimes, but no 'replacement' for milk.

[CheriK]

The usual estimate is that if she's nursing at least 4 times in 24 hours, then she's still getting the calcium and fat she needs from your milk.  You never "have" to give her cow's milk, BTW.  In our society, it's the usual weaning drink for toddlers, but not true everywhere in the world.  There are other sources of calcium.  Some folks have various concerns about cow's milk and never give it.  But giving cow's milk also doesn't have to mean complete weaning.  We started offering dairy products at around a year to all 3 of ours, including cow's milk.  The older two only wanted it on cereal for a long time, my current nursling loves to drink it, probably because she wants to do what her big brother is doing.  My DS loves to drink it now and has for years and years.  He weaned at 6, so it didn't impact that, LOL!

Your DD's nursing pattern now might not be an indication of what she'll be like as a toddler, also.  A lot of older babies are distracted nursers.  They're going through so many developmental changes - learning to eat solid foods (which it sounds like your DD loves), learning to walk, talk, exploring their worlds. . .  Many babies end up weaned at this age because they're perceived to have  "lost interest" in nursing.  But it's more likely she's just an efficient nurser and distracted, so she doesn't want to spend a lot of time at it during the day.  Her frequency might pick up as she gets older.  A lot of toddlers nurse much more frequently during the day - as a "check-in" with mom, to heal the most recent emotional or physical hurt, and because they're less distractable (just try to get an insistent 2-year old to do something else after she's asked to nurse!).

Most moms find they just gradually drift into a new routine as baby grows into a toddler.  As you've already noted, it's not so critical to offer to nurse before offering solids.  But it's not bad to do so, either.  Your milk continues to be a highly nutritious food source for your DD, no matter what her age, certainly more so than the Cheerios and Goldfish that so many toddlers would live on if allowed.  As far as your inlaws, perhaps your DH could share the current research on breastfeeding.  The AAP recommends that breastfeeding continue until AT LEAST 1 year, and thereafter as long as mutually desired; WHO and many other pediatric groups worldwide recommend AT LEAST 2 years.  Her body is still growing rapidly, her immune and digestive systems are still maturing, and your milk provides the correct balance of fats and proteins for her growing body & brain, plus continues to support her immune system for as long as she continues to nurse.

[Tattooed Hand]

I also think it's important to note that it's not like they turn a year old and switch gets flipped, it's a gradual process. My DD is almost  16 months old and she has just begun to ask for more solids and nurse less during the day. This changes when she has teeth coming through or is sick. It's been a really gradual process with us and I think we're at about half half with her. 

[skfmama]

I think it's normal for some babies to only nurse when they wake up and go to sleep, but be too busy otherwise. That's been the case for us, for the most part. DS is a little over a year, and he now nurses when he wakes up, before and after his 2 naps, at bed time, and maybe once or twice at night.

I would say just go with the flow. I personally continue to try to nurse before offering solids for the most part - but that just means I nurse him when he wakes up, then make breakfast. I nurse him when he wakes up from his first nap, then make lunch. etc. If he doesn't want to nurse one of those times I may try offering again before or after solids, but I don't worry about it. I'm following his lead, and I know he'll let me know when he wants to eat (nurse or solids)

Hope that helps!