scared of birth pain, any advice?

[briannas auntie]

Now, I am not pregnant, but I really need some advice regarding childbirth pain.

On Tuesday, I went to the chiaropractor for an adjustment, and felt fine until an hour later, when my lower back popped and it started to hurt.  The pain just kept feeling worse and worse.  I wound up falling down in my apartment and the paramedics came and helped me back up.  Later that evening, I was eating dinner with my caregiver and choked a little on some water.  All of a sudden, the very low of my back went into full-force spasms.  I was screaming because the pain was so severe.  It felt like it was waves of pain that would get extremely painful enough to cause my body to shake and then they'd taper off a little.  I was screaming when the pain got super severe, that my caregiver couldn't get me to relax and breathe.  It was like my body was making me scream involuntarly.  Anyway, Gerri called 911 when I was still screaming after 45 minutes and no home remedies we tried helped.

When I got to the hospital and a nurse was checking my blood pressure, puting in an IV, and other stuff, she asked me to describe my pain.  I told her how it was, and she told me that the way my pain was was the equivallent to back labor in the transition stage.  I was shocked, but she told me that she had the same exact problem a year ago and compared it to that, since she had already had children and had gone through labor.  After 8 hours, they discharged me and I went home.  My back still has been getting occassional mild spasms, but not like what I had on Tuesday.

The reason I told you all this is because I want to try for a baby next year, after I graduate college and have a good job as a medical biller & coder.  But, I am scared now of the pain of labor.  If the pain of labor is anything like what I experienced on Tuesday, I know I will lose control and scream for hours on end.  I don't want to do that, but I don't know what to do to prepare myself in the meantime. 

The ER nurse I talked to told me that birth hypnosis helped her out, and she says that she still uses it for bad menstrual cramps and even for insomnia. 

Does birth hypnosis actually help you relax enough to not scream and tense up during labor?  Does anyone know of any programs that are good for this?  I saw on Ebay that someone is selling a HypBirth kit, which is for birth hypnosis.  Is this program good?

I am desperate for any advice, because I am now starting to doubt my abilities to even have a baby naturally.

Jessie

[weliveintheforest]

I would try to take what that nurse said with a huge grain of salt.  She wasn't feeling what you were feeling, and comparing someone else's pain to what she thinks someone would feel in childbirth is probably not accurate.  

I think hypno birth programs can be very helpful but I haven't used one myself.  You can do it yourself with a book and cd, or you can attend a class or hire someone to work with you.

There are so many things you can do to get through labour, and the pain is not the same as when you are injured, it is your body working.  

[Vaske]

My advice is to read a lot of natural childbirth stories.  You'll see that labor is rarely as painful as what your nurse experienced, and that there are a variety of ways to cope with labor pain. 

[briannas auntie]

Thanks for all your wonderful advice!  It really helped me feel as ease. 

I seriously don't want to use pain killers during labor, because of reading about how they can affect breastfeeding and can sometimes cause colic in newborns.  I wish there was a way to know what labor actually feels like before you go into labor. That way, I wouldn't be as scared.

Jessie

[Chinaberry]

Originally Posted by weliveintheforest 

There are so many things you can do to get through labour, and the pain is not the same as when you are injured, it is your body working.  

ITA.

I didn't feel the kind of pain that one thinks of as "pain," like "ouch, I broke my arm, twisted my ankle, killer headache." It was more like really strenuous exercise. (That's how much I like exercise.) 

Reading Ina May helped a lot, too, to understand what was going on, and for the idea that you can really get into it, and ride the power to where it takes you.

Believe you can do it, that's my advice!

[briannas auntie]

Reading Ina May helped a lot, too, to understand what was going on, and for the idea that you can really get into it, and ride the power to where it takes you.

Believe you can do it, that's my advice!

There is a copy of Spiritual Midwifery and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth in the nautral healing shop that my friend and I operate.  I have only skimmed through these books, but I think I will actually relax in the evening and read them all the way through.  I just want to help my mindset change and feel like I can handle having a baby, without losing control. 

Jessie

[lunarlady]

I have had both stabbing back pain like you described and two labors, including one with back labor. They are not at all the same. Back pain is terrible. Burning, stabbing, spasming pain that never let's up, comes when you move, laugh, sneeze, choke....awful. I am a very natural person but took narcotics for my back.

Childbirth is more like a combo of menstrual cramps, gas pains, and constipation. They come in predictable waves, ease in, and ease out. At transition, I was howling with pain, but the terrible agony only lasted for about 10 seconds during each contraction. Not spasm after painful spasm like my back pain. Childbirth is also pain with a purpose. So although it hurts, you also know that each pain brings you closer to baby.

[briannas auntie]

Originally Posted by lunarlady 

I have had both stabbing back pain like you described and two labors, including one with back labor. They are not at all the same. Back pain is terrible. Burning, stabbing, spasming pain that never let's up, comes when you move, laugh, sneeze, choke....awful. I am a very natural person but took narcotics for my back.

Childbirth is more like a combo of menstrual cramps, gas pains, and constipation. They come in predictable waves, ease in, and ease out. At transition, I was howling with pain, but the terrible agony only lasted for about 10 seconds during each contraction. Not spasm after painful spasm like my back pain. Childbirth is also pain with a purpose. So although it hurts, you also know that each pain brings you closer to baby.

Thank you so much for letting me know this.  The way that nurse in the ER talked, I would be in agony for several hours if I decided to have a baby naturally, and screaming the whole time.  Now I know different, thanks to you.  I too don't like taking painkillers, but I had no choice with the back pain, because it wouldn't let up. Gerri (my friend and caregiver) even gave me some Bach Rescue Remedy to calm me down and it didn't help due to how severe the back pain was.  Vicodin and Ibuprofen didn't help one bit, but the Dilauid they gave me through an IV helped a great deal.  I was finally able to stop screaming and crying due to the pain.  The spasms in my back kept coming it seemed like every 10 seconds and wouldn't let up one bit until they gave me some IV narcotics in the hospital. I agree with the back pain when moving just slightly.  It was all Gerri could do to get me from my recliner into a standing position to get to my bed, with me screaming in her ear the whole time.

Is childbirth really like that?  Like menstrual cramps?  I have had pretty bad mentrual cramps in the past, and found that breathing through them and taking a warm bath helped.  So, it sounds like to me that I can really do it!  I can have a baby without painkillers. WOW!  I also had bad constipation back in 2007 that got so bad that I literally couldn't go to the bathroom at all (they later found out it was because half of my colon stoped functioning and I had to have emergency surgery to remove it), so I have a pretty good idea of how uncomfortable that can be (pressure-wise). 

Again, thanks for the wonderful encouragement.  I feel much at ease now.

Jessie

[Joyster]

It was painful, but I don't think I really screamed in my labours. I kinda grunted/yelled during the pushing phase, but that part actually felt good. It's really hard to describe back labour. For me, it's like the back pain when you have your period (seriously increased of course), coupled with a grating feeling. But it came, climaxed and went down with each contraction. However, having done it three times, in my experience, I will say that the more relaxed you are (as much as possible) the easier it is.

[kawa kamuri]

Look into Hypnobabies 

[Kelly1101]

Do remember that all women experience labor differently.  One woman may have a nearly painless labor, while another is in agony no matter what she does.  There are also lots of different factors for each woman that can affect labor.  With my first, she was posterior (the back labor) and I had pitocin, so it was EXCRUCIATING.  With my second, I didn't even believe I was in labor until right before he was born-- he was positioned well, I was moving around, no pitocin.  It was night and day.  With both, however, I did lamaze and it worked very very well.  

[lunarlady]

Originally Posted by briannas auntie 

Thank you so much for letting me know this.  The way that nurse in the ER talked, I would be in agony for several hours if I decided to have a baby naturally, and screaming the whole time.  Now I know different, thanks to you.  I too don't like taking painkillers, but I had no choice with the back pain, because it wouldn't let up. Gerri (my friend and caregiver) even gave me some Bach Rescue Remedy to calm me down and it didn't help due to how severe the back pain was.  Vicodin and Ibuprofen didn't help one bit, but the Dilauid they gave me through an IV helped a great deal.  I was finally able to stop screaming and crying due to the pain.  The spasms in my back kept coming it seemed like every 10 seconds and wouldn't let up one bit until they gave me some IV narcotics in the hospital. I agree with the back pain when moving just slightly.  It was all Gerri could do to get me from my recliner into a standing position to get to my bed, with me screaming in her ear the whole time.

Is childbirth really like that?  Like menstrual cramps?  I have had pretty bad mentrual cramps in the past, and found that breathing through them and taking a warm bath helped.  So, it sounds like to me that I can really do it!  I can have a baby without painkillers. WOW!  I also had bad constipation back in 2007 that got so bad that I literally couldn't go to the bathroom at all (they later found out it was because half of my colon stoped functioning and I had to have emergency surgery to remove it), so I have a pretty good idea of how uncomfortable that can be (pressure-wise). 

Again, thanks for the wonderful encouragement.  I feel much at ease now.

Jessie

Glad I could help! Yes, childbirth hurts a lot, a back labor hurts even more, but it is a pressure pain, a muscle pain, and a streching pain, not a nerve/injury pain like back injuries are. I've had very bad menstrual cramps in the past, and about 80% of my labors are like that level of pain. Unpleasant for sure, but eased by warm baths, breathing, and active mental relaxation techniques. And in labor moving either helps slightly or does no good, unlike with back pain where moving makes it worse. Transition contractions may come close on the pain level, but only last a short time (on and off for about 30 minutes for me). Pushing, for me, is quite similar to straining on the toilet when constipated. Very uncomfortable and almost totally involuntary.

One thing to be careful of is the strain of pregnancy on your back. My back pain was due to a ruptured disk, so during my next pregnancy I saw a chiropractor and was very careful about my shoes, posture, and activity level.

[Jaimee]

I used the HypBirth home study course for my first birth and sort of reviewed it for my second.  What I say to people about hypnosis techniques is that there are three levels.  One: you learn affirmations and reach a point where you truly BELIEVE that birth is normal, natural, and something you were designed to do.  Two: you learn some great relaxation techniques that are effective up until about transition.  Three: you actually learn to hypnotize yourself and reach a place where you feel no pain throughout the entire birth process and may even deliver your baby without really pushing.

I reached level two and it was a great experience.  Even though I did not make it all the way to full hypnosis, I did reach 8cm with hardly any pain.  After about 8cm (during transition) my relaxation skills were no longer effective.  I used water, changing positions, and low moaning mantras to get me through the rest.  But as a pp said, childbirth is pain with a purpose.  You'll find that purposeful pain can be integrated far easier than pain from injury/illness, plus you know that it will end.  It will.  And then you'll have a baby.  As soon as that baby comes out it's like flipping a switch- pain is gone and all those wonderful birthing hormones are swirling around giving you a kind of high you'll never forget.

My cousin and SIL both have severe back pain issues.  Both said their backs were not much of an issue during labor.  My cousin used her TENS during early labor and said it was amazing.  Have you looked into that for you?

[briannas auntie]

My cousin and SIL both have severe back pain issues.  Both said their backs were not much of an issue during labor.  My cousin used her TENS during early labor and said it was amazing.  Have you looked into that for you?

I have heard of a TENS unit, but have never used one myself.  My stepdad, who has bad back problems from a car crash he had several years ago, said that it didn't help him much, but going to a pain clinic taught him different techniques to deal with back pain, and that helped him.

Jessie

[Jaimee]

Well, everyone is different so it could be worth looking into.  Never know what might work wonders for you!