Potty Learning Tribe!

[pranava]

Anyone want to join me?  I thought it might be nice to have a thread to share our successes, frustrations, confusions, methods, and anything else potty learning. Maybe start with introductions?  Have you done this before? How old is your potty learner?  What are you doing, and is it working? 

I have a first question too - if you have used waterproof potty training pants, which ones are the most absorbent and leak-proof? 

This is my first experience with potty teaching :)  DS is 24 months and we have been doing part-time EC since 13 months - sometimes with success and sometimes not.  We are using waterproof training undies at daycare with some success, and some leaks.  At home, DS is nakey bum or in cloth undies.  I usually don't ask if he needs to potty, because he just says no.  I say "it's potty time"  about every hour and we read, blow bubbles, and get stickers on the potty.  He is doing very well at home - dry overnight for many days now!  But, we're having some setbacks in daycare as of late, so I'm looking for a more leak-proof trainer. 

I hope to find some fellow potty teachers to commiserate with 

[Mal85]

I'll join in. DD is 25 months old and the potty is something we started introducing several months ago. I started out by sitting her on the potty if she woke up from naps/nighttime dry. For a while, she was going on the potty pretty well at those times. But it's been a long time since she's gone on the potty.

She has some big girl underwear and loves to wear them. She is becoming very aware of pee and poop. She always tells me when she has gone in her diaper and wants it changed right away. And she'll often ask to sit on the potty during diaper changes and wants lots of naked time, which we do a lot of during the day. But, she just hasn't seemed to put it together yet. She's very interested in it, has lots of questions when I go to the bathroom, flushes the toilet. The other night she started to pee while she was having naked time. She did stop herself and looked at me and said "Mommy poop!" (she calls all of it poop, she's always pooped in her diaper according to her, even though it's just pee) But she only held it for a second and peed all the way to the potty.

It doesn't seem like she'll be totally potty trained anytime soon, but I'm just waiting for her to have her aha moment. When I can see she's put it together and I have a feeling it'll be fairly easy from there. She really wants to do it.

[anjsmama]

Goodness I'd love to join you and your first post already helped me! I'm Megan & my DS, Austin, is 31 months and he is my first, so I have never done this before. He has been part time on the potty since 18 months, but is still nowhere close.  

Our frustrations are countless - there are weeks where he will go on the potty all day everyday and weeks where he will literally scream just going IN to the bathroom. We are really trying not to force him, and to just let this be a positive thing for him in his time. I have a new DD who is 10 weeks and certainly seeing his baby sister in diapers has been a huge step back for us.  "Me baby too! Me baby, mom, need diaper" - Ughhhhh! So right now we're really working on encouraging all things "big boy" and "big brother". Also, he had the flu in February, and though he got over that, his digestive system never returned to normal and he is having bouts of diahrea and constipation which makes learning really hard! Becuase sometimes he doesn't know he has to go, and sometimes he has to go and tries really hard and just CAN'T. It's awful. So he is now seeing a GI doctor and hoping to get this stuff worked out so we can get back to learning.

DS wears waterproof training pants at home (I think they are Gerber? I'd have to check them... we got them at Target and they look/feel just like regular underwear everywhere except that middle liner.. I love them). He wears pullups in public, mostly because if he leaks, it's kind of impossible for me to clean him while I have DD and all of their stuff, by myself! He also wears pullups at night, although I have noticed he is typically dry overnight. Any leaks usually happen mid-day. We do books and stickers on the potty and that works pretty well. He definitely needs to be distracted. We also just use TONS of positivity - high fives, hugs, kisses, telling Dad all about how many times he went potty and didn't leak when he gets home, etc.... The more excited we seem  about the potty, the more excited he seems too.

I am glad to read what you said about "It's potty time!" though... I think I need to start doing that. Because I ask him and he says no, even when I know it has got to be time. Recently it seems like he is afraid to go poop on the toilet and I think that is because he is afraid it will hurt (due to current GI issues).

...... Children DO eventually learn right?! Haha.

[Theresa787]

Thank you for starting this thread.  It's important to give and get support during this time.

We have 14-month old twins (girl/boy).  We started part-time EC almost a month ago.  When we first introduced the potty, we caught several pees and poops a day.  It was impressive and I naively thought this is going to be a piece of cake.  Oh, how wrong I was.  Two weeks ago they decided to stop peeing and pooping on the potty.  In fact, they will sit on the potty for five minutes or so, then about two minutes after they get off the potty there is a big puddle on the floor (if they are diaper-less) or their training pants are wet.  

We have decided to have one baby wear a cotton training pant (we're using Potty Scotty and Potty Patty) and the other one be diaper-less.  When we're not practicing, we're wearing good old fashion Pampers.  

I've been showing them the ASL for potty, working on cuing (psssss) and saying the word "pee" and I created my own sign for pee (the ASL one is too difficult in my opinion for a 14 month old to use) - four fingers facing down by the crotch of the pants (to look like a pee shower).

Side note - My cousin potty trained her 2 1/2 year old using the old method of the toddler training a baby doll that wets to use the potty.  My cousin said her daughter had a good time "teaching" her doll to use the potty.

[pranava]

Oh, the pottying doll sounds like a great idea!  I think I'll try to find one for DS.  We used the ASL sign for the letter T and moved the hand back and forth.  I think that means toilet?  Not sure, but that one was easy for DS.

So, what is the deal with the peeing 10 minutes after getting off the potty?  That happens often here and it gets so frustrating!  When they're really little, I'm sure that just don't realize they need to go while on the potty, but my DS will hold it for 3 hours and then pee 10 minutes after getting off the potty.  Ugh!!!

[pranava]

I did some experimenting this weekend with a more relaxed approach to potty learning.  I never asked DS if he needed to go.  Every 30 minutes I reminded him to "remember to tell me if you need to potty so you can keep your undies dry"  Then every 2 to 2 1/2 hours we did mandatory potty trips.  To my surprise, he only had 2 accidents all weekend with this method.  My big thing right now - how do I get him to tell me?  He's holding it and waiting for me to put him on the potty.  How do I get him to initiate?  Maybe I'll try telling him I need to go, everytime I go to the bathroom.  He copies everything I do and say , so maybe he'll copy that too.    Any ideas?

[lactatinggirl]

Oh I'd love to join this tribe. DD is 25 months and we've tried to potty learn on and off for about 6 months. I wouldn't have started so early, but she wanted to sit on the potty and do all the things along with it. Since she was so young, we took a very mild approach to it. We've never really tried for more than a weekend because I figure if she hasn't made it in the potty by then, she must not be ready. Now I'm wondering if all the back and forth was confusing to her. 

So once my semester is out (next week, yay!) we're going to really give it a go. I'm still going to keep relaxed about it, but we're going to try for longer. I'll be at home all summer with her, so even if it takes weeks for her to get make it in the potty, it'll be fine. I feel like she's so close to that "ah-ha!" moment and once she actually gets it in the potty, she'll be golden. YKWIM? 

[JudiAU]

I'll join.

DD is 20m and has about one wet diaper a day. Mostly potty. Still working on poop. We are switching to underpants this week. Assuming I get her to the potty quickly after nap or nightime she is dry then too.

DS is almost four and is more or less potty independent. He still needs someone to wipe his bottom. He has been in daytime underpants since 2.5 and nightime underpants since 3. Switching to gdiapers, then early cloth training pants were really helpful.

I like the imse vimse training pants. You must wash them 3-4 times before use because they are organic cotton. Using cloth diapers with DD has accelerated the process.

I really like Diaper Free Before Three which outlines more or less traditional potty learning.

[JudiAU]

Basically, there are two camps of potty learning. You hit the sweet spot right before 2 for a parent-led let's sit on the potty every so often way. Kids learn predictablity and bladder control pretty easily. This is how most of us were potty trained and why giant diapers didn't exist in the 1970s. This is what busy body grandparents are advocating. It works.

Traditional potty learning doesn't have punishment or shaming at its core, although some people think that it does. It is just a different approach.

The other camp is the do you need to go do you need to go do you need to go where the child is expected to more less express themselves, have control over their body, their pants, and their access.. This kind of expressive control usually occurs at a much later age.

Nightime bladder control seems to be a bit different, with bladder size and quality of sleep playing a big role. My kids seem to have inheited big bladders and that seems to help. This is the primary reason we started potty learning when DS was just 2 (and we had a three week old!) We would have an unholy mess every morning because he could hold his urine until he woke up and then have a flood and then ten minutes later, have a massive daily poop. The only real solution was to put him on the potty. And THEN I read the book.

[Greenlea]

I will join you!

My son turned 2 at the end of March.  I have tried getting him to sit on the potty, he usually arches his back and says nooooo!  I've tried making it fun, making it routine, making it like Daddy, but its not working.  He hides in a corner when he poops (in his diaper) and will sometimes hide afterwards.  If I find him, I try to get him to go on the potty to poop, but he pushes me away and says noooo!  Is it just too early for him?

[pranava]

Hey Greenlea!  My son turned two the end of March as well :)  Maybe you could change his role for awhile - make him the teacher.  I know my son likes to show me things and drag me around by the hand making me do what he wants.  Maybe your DS could teach you and DH and a wetting baby doll how to use the potty.  I think I might try this with my son too.  Like, "Oh, Ds's name, I feel like I need to potty!  What should I do?  Can you show me where I should go potty?"  I think he might like having some control over this process and your DS might too. 

[Everrgreen]

My son turned 2 in January and we will start potty learning once the weather is warmer (maybe another month?).  My plan is to take away diapers, let him go naked, and hope for the best!  He already stays dry through the night (although I still put a diaper on him).  That's my initial plan anyway, if it doesn't work I'll move on and try plan B.. whatever that is :P

[lactatinggirl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudiAU 

Switching to gdiapers, then early cloth training pants were really helpful.

Switching to gdiapers from what? DD has been in gdiapers since she was big enough to fit into them (they didn't have the newborn size out yet when she was born) so I was just wondering what was helpful about them in regards to potty learning. 

[JudiAU]

We used gdiapers for a few months when he was smaller but used disposables for the most part. When we started to potty learn he was at the far end of the size range for large (which I still had) and we also used the newly introduced gcloth inserts which I thought were terrible but still had more absorbancy than a trainer. So a diaper cover that is too small with a not very absorbant cloth insert was big change from a disposable but still saved my couch. We did it for a month or two and then switched to imse vimse trainers. Really helped him make the connection.

I am guessing that if you use gdiapers you either use disposable inserts or prefolds or something and that it works well for you? Maybe the gcloth got better. One idea would be to use a less absorbant insert. We currently used sized fuzzi bunz and I toyed with trying to find less absorbant inserts to mimic the gdiaper but velcro diapers would last about two seconds on her. 

[anjsmama]

Hmm - I am FINALLY having some potty success with DS (32 months) and it came in the strangest way! I wasn't an AP parent of any sort when DS was little, and we have had a lot of medical problems with DS that are directly related to potty learning, so certainly it's been a tough thing for the little guy to learn. DD (10.5 weeks) and I are using EC... and now watching his baby sister go potty has DS inspired to do the same! I can't believe it. You'd think the older one would teach the younger one, but I think watching the way DD & I communicate, and then how  I cheer with her and put her back into the same (still dry) diaper, he is viewing potty time as bonding time (and it is!). A few days ago after I helped DD go, he just came in and said "Mom, my turn go potty." and hopped up there and went! He has gone several times a day for the last 3 days and is dry most of the time. If he keeps this up, I'm going to use the cotton training pants and try to ride this interest strike... very intriguing! :) 

[Birdie B.]

Yay, I need this thread right now! It's so helpful to hear what other parents are doing and how it works. This is my first attempt, my daughter is 29 months old and I have another one due in August.  We have been working with her for months now, I think we first got her a potty a year ago! She is getting the hang of it, she knows how to tell me she needs to go, but she doesn't always.  Isn't that so frustrating - to go several days or a week when she tells me every time and then suddenly she stops?!?  I have no idea what the difference is.

At home she can usually be fine in undies, but I still put a diaper on for nap and nightime.  The harder part is when we are out and about. I like to go out every day (library, park, playdates, etc) and it's much harder to get her to potty then.  I have a folding potty seat in the diaper bag, but it is kind of a pain to use public restrooms.  Plus, she hardly EVER tells me when we're out having fun somewhere that she has to go!  How can I get her tell me when we're out in public?  I would love for her to be out of diapers before the next baby is born, but it's looking unlikely.

[Chamomile Girl]

I'll join!

I've been in the potty training business for a couple of months now. DS is 21 months old and we first got the potty seat when he was 19 months. Once he figured out what it was for he was totally into using it. We started with naked time and went from there. He got the hang of it quickly and now he is dry pretty much all the time. He still pees every time he takes a nap, but for some reason he can consistently make it through the whole night dry .

He is an interesting case because he is nonverbal, but is still very good at letting me know when he has to go (if he is paying attention...sometimes he gets distracted by having too much fun). He now has one word he says all the time...peeeeeeeeee...whenever he goes in the potty. It's too freaking cute.

When we are out and about I try to remember to put him on the potty every couple of hours. If we are in a quiet space (like eating somewhere) he will remind me. I have a potty I keep in the car, or if I have to we will use the public toilets...but that is a big production. We don't have many accidents while out which is great.

The best part of the whole process is that he can comfortably poop in the potty; something he was never able to do in a diaper post-solids. He had major constipation issues when he was younger to the point of being hospitalized and now he goes poop every day (sometimes multiple times!) and is almost completely weaned off the laxative. Yay for that.

At home I just keep him in trainer undies without a waterproof liner, but I do use plastic pants over the undies for when we go out just in case. He was tough to find undies for because he's so young, so they're all too big, but what can ya do?

[lactatinggirl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudiAU 

We used gdiapers for a few months when he was smaller but used disposables for the most part. When we started to potty learn he was at the far end of the size range for large (which I still had) and we also used the newly introduced gcloth inserts which I thought were terrible but still had more absorbancy than a trainer. So a diaper cover that is too small with a not very absorbant cloth insert was big change from a disposable but still saved my couch. We did it for a month or two and then switched to imse vimse trainers. Really helped him make the connection.

I am guessing that if you use gdiapers you either use disposable inserts or prefolds or something and that it works well for you? Maybe the gcloth got better. One idea would be to use a less absorbant insert. We currently used sized fuzzi bunz and I toyed with trying to find less absorbant inserts to mimic the gdiaper but velcro diapers would last about two seconds on her. 

We have some of the gCloth inserts, but they mostly piss me off. Good to know it's not me. Actually, a big reason we went with gDiapers is that I can just sew the liners for them and then they end up being WAY cheaper than other cloth diapers. My liners are pretty awesome at soaking. :-D
 

[pranava]

Birdie B - that's fantastic that your DD tells you when she has to go.  I think the telling you in public places will come in time.  I'm elated when DS tells me even after he pees.  sometimes he'll get upset that he's wet and other times he doesn't care at all

I'm going to end up with quite a collection of training undies soon, so when I get them all here and get to use them, I'll do a little review.  I'm currently using non-waterproof gerber training undies (sometimes 3 pair on at once for extra aborption), and waterproof tot wraps transition trainers.  I have a pair of waterproof potty scotty's, waterproof bummis, and waterproof stuffable super undies on their way.  So far, I like the tot wraps trainers, but wish I had gone up a size.  They have a very low rise.  When DS has had accidents when out and about with me, I haven't had any leaks.  Daycare isn't having the same luck with them.  I think he drinks more there and holds it longer and then soaks through. 

Anybody used the waterproof potty scotty pants?  I'm wondering if I can cut a slit in the liner in the back and turn them into a stuffable trainer for daycare.  It would be much cheaper than super undies.  Cloth diapers just don't work well for us because most are stay dry and don't pull up and down easily. 

[Gretchen_PDX]

I'll join! Our son is almost 1 1/2 years old. We did a little EC when he was younger, and that worked great. He is at a toddler day care where almost all the kids that can walk are starting to potty train. He wears little undies at school, but isn't having much success actually going on the potty. We're having a conference w/ his "guide" in a couple weeks, and I'm excited to hear about how we can better support this at home. He just gets right up when I put him on the little potty at our house :(