This is my first post in personal growth, I think I just need to vent but if anyone has any advice or has gone though something similar please let me know!
I live abroad and only see my family when I go home twice a year, I call my mother once a week, we have always had a tumultuous relationship but over the past few years (since I moved away) things have gotten better.
My mother is very obsessed with weight and physical appearance. I called her last night and told her that I brought my first pair of maternity pants. I am 18 weeks with my first child. She got very upset and told me I am probably gaining too much weight and that I should only eat when I am hungry and not take in any additional calories. I tried to tell her that weight gain is normal during pregnancy and that I need extra nutrients during pregnancy (ie I am eating more). I also told her at my last doc's appt. (3 weeks ago) I had only gained 4 pounds. She was still upset and I tried repeatedly to steer the conversation in another direction (it didn't work)
Then she asked, and this really upset me for some reason, if I was sure that I am not having twins (I have had 2 sonograms - she knows the answer to this question).
Normally I would not care because I live so far but I am going there in a few days and will be staying for two weeks. I do not want to spend those two weeks fighting with her, but I know she will continually talk about my weight.
The selfish side of me wants to scream at her and call her a lunatic and tell her this kind of behavior is why I moved so far away, but I know that is not productive. She has had issues with depressions and anxiety all her life and has been on and off anti-depressants since I was young.
I know she is sick, I know wearing maternity cloths at 18 weeks is normal, but I cannot seem to let this go and I am afraid I may snap when she says something and I do not want to do that, especially when we are in front of friends or family, which is, for some reason, when she tends to talk about my appearance the most.
If anyone has any advice or has gone through something similar please let me know, it would be much appreciated :)