Showing your ds your antagonistic correspondence here undermines the notion that you expect his behavior to meet certain standards.
I completely agree with you that the teacher is wrong. She's very, very wrong. You know it. She's not going to whip out a newly published account from Anonymous's parents explaining that every word in the book is actually completely verifiable and unembellished. She will remain wrong unless she follows up on your sources and changes her mind.
She has no reason to do that. You're asking the teacher to demonstrate the depth of her wrongness so your son can benefit from an exercise in critical thinking which is, somewhat unusually for the higher order thinking skills, based on material that you prefer he not view and evaluate for himself. That's not a good use of her time.
If you can make yourself do it, write her a nice note apologizing for getting carried away and tell your son that you over-stepped. I realize that might be impossible for a variety of reasons, but it would be the polite thing.
Are you serious? How about establishing an iota of professionalism as being a reason she should admit she was wrong. She is asking things of her students she refuses to do herself. Her authority has already been undermined by her own behavior, NOT the behavior of the OP.
Thank you Chamomile Girl!
I can't believe how much people tend to assume sometimes. The year began with the teacher being unkind to my son because he fell asleep in her class. She assumed it was rudeness. I told him to just ignore the tone of her voice and do his best to get along with her. Does someone really disagree with that?! I sure hope not. Eventually, the sleeping in school got so bad that we took him for a sleep study and found he has narcolepsy. She still bitches at him for dozing off. I certainyl could have run down to the school and whined and cried and had him pulled from her class, but I didn't. I gave my almost-adult son ownership of the issue, and he's done surprisingly well in trying to get along with her. He still snips, but that's just his personality. I have one time made him write a note of apology after they clashed and he has apologized without prompting several other times. He is a sarcastic person and she is not. He is intellectually gifted and she is not. She can't relate to him and he doesn't like her because he feels she didn't like him first. I still mostly stayed out of it until one day I had had enough of her bullsh!t emails complaining about him acting spacy and sleepy. Everyone has their breaking point and I certainly have mine. I wrote her a very polite and eloquent email to let her know that it was obvious that she and ds were not exactly well-matched in personality and sense of humor, and that was ok, but I expected him to show her respect. Beyond that, I couldn't force him to like or admire anyone and I couldn't force her to like or understand my son. That's a problem? Really?
I don't feel jumped on, but I do think it's ironically funny that in one thread I get both questioned for making him privy to an "adult" argument and questioned for "censoring" hsi reading material. LOL
And FTR, he wasn't being censored. We looked together to see what the books on the list were about and he didn't want to read about a 15 year old being brutally and sadistically raped. We are a Christian family and that sort of stuff just isn't entertainment to us. However, we are not prudish. I talk to my kids about sex and drugs all the time. But I want them inculcated with my principles, not the teachers, so sex education is taken care of at home. He's 16, he knows what rape is and he chooses not to read a book about it. Do other 16yo's really enjoy reading about rape?