Hello Mamas! I am new here (and new to natural family living) and am looking for just tons of help. So I am going to tell a little bit of my story, and then ask a ton of questions! I understand it’s quite long so if you scroll to the questions I understand.
I’m Megan, I’m 21. I am mama to DS born 8/17/08, wife to DH married 8/29/09, and mama to DD born 1/28/11. When we became pregnant with DS, we were dating but not married nor living together and I was 18. To say my faith and parenting ideals were not set is an understatement. I certainly am proud that we were able to provide financially and lovingly for our son, to provide a home, etc. I am thankful to God that it was my very best friend (DH) with whom I got pregnant and that he has devoted himself to being the kind of father every woman hopes for their children. However, I certainly have regrets that he was born before I knew who I was as a follower of Christ and as a wife and mother.
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DS was born 4 lb 11 oz at 37 weeks, induced due to preeclampsia. There were too many complications with the pregnancy to even mention. After he was born my mothering instincts kicked in full gear and I decided only to go back to work 15 hrs/week. We needed that to survive financially, but honestly I just wanted to be with my baby all the time. I breastfed him, but we had many problems, and I was very under-educated (about BF) and with the encouragement of his pediatrician (go figure), we switched to formula at 3 months. DS had sweat feeds and fast breathing and other strange habits that I asked his pedi about who said it was normal (it isn’t) until 2 months and then sent him to a cardiologist to be sure. Cardio found enormous hole (VSD) in his heart immediately and DS had open heart surgery to repair it at 3 ½ months. Since we got through that, he has had a very normal, wonderfully happy childhood. I have loved every moment of being his mom, and after we got married (he had just turned 1 & learned to walk, and was our ringbearer), we started TTC #2. We got our positive May 27, 2010. On May 21, I had been diagnosed with Celiac Disease. So - gluten free for life, starting with pregnancy! (Talk about killer cravings!)
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DD was born 6 lb 8 oz at 38 weeks 5 days. She was watched carefully during my pregnancy due to my first child’s complications, but all was found to be normal, normal, normal. Except it wasn’t normal. Within 2 hours after she was born, we found out she was a miracle - the kind people can’t explain. She had single artery umbilical cord, velamentous cord insertion, and vasa previa. 95% of these cases result in fetal mortality, and the ones that survive are born by C-section at 35 weeks (when the condition is diagnosed) or by emergency c-section if the mother is already in labor. To my knowledge, Jeana is the second baby in the US to survive a vaginal delivery with these conditions. My doctor was not present for her delivery. Although I told the nurses several times that my first child was born with 3 pushes, they seemed to think I was kidding about the speed of my labor & delivery. She was born with one push, delivered by 3 nurses. Actually, in my eyes, she was delivered by God. I think it was this experience, mixed with my more matured mothering instincts that has led me into natural family living. I did not buy bottles or pacifiers or accept formula samples when she arrived - I was determined to succeed at breastfeeding. She latched on (when they FINALLY gave her to me 20 minutes later!) at birth, and has done so with ease her whole life thus far. I started wearing her because it’s so comfortable for both of us, I can interact with her and take care of DS and the house at the same time, and stay close to her. I nurse on demand because I love that my body provides not only her nutrition but also her comfort, and I also HATED the process of breaking my first DS from his pacifier … NONE of those for DD! My family and friends have been peculiar about my nursing DD in public (not that I reveal anything anyway! As a discreet person in general, I layer tanks and pull one up and one down to nurse). They think it’s strange I wear her. They tell me she has a “strange” attachment to me. I kept thinking, is it really strange for a baby to be attached to her mother? This is when DH & I started researching attachment parenting and natural family living. Also, I do have to go back to work at 12 weeks, but due to a big move and job change we are hoping I will be a permanent SAHM in just a few weeks time.
At my 6 week PP check, I declined birth control. I got Mirena at 6 weeks after DS was born - I was 19 and unmarried and my only thought was “I CANNOT HAVE ANOTHER BABY”. This time though, I just really hate the idea of hormones in my body & especially when I am using this body to nourish my daughter! So right now we are relying on EBF as I sort of wade into natural family living…….. How else do I/can I prevent pregnancy? Or should I just be open to the idea that God will give us children when he sees fit?
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So that’s just a little bit about us. So here I am on this new adventure in my life.. Somehow I’ve turned into a breastfeeding, babywearing, gluten-free mother of two! J I certainly love it. However I am having some guilt about how I mothered DS as a baby. It wasn’t that I was a BAD mother.. I was very, very attentive and loving and did what I honestly believed was best.. But I was misinformed. I did sleep training, I used pacifiers, I left him for long periods (we even left him for a week to go on our honeymoon L ) .. I am very excited about using EC with my new DD, but am confused about how I can start implenting these principles (and gentle discipline, and attachment parenting in general) with my DS who is 2 ½ and used to the way things “were”. Some changes he has adapted to well and likes, and others I’m just not sure what to do. I feel really confident in my ability to use attachment style parenting with DD because I have done it since day 1 - every time she moves or makes a sound, I know what she wants. Although DS & I communicate absolutely exceptionally, he is nowhere close to potty learning and I feel like this has to do with our attempts to “train” him too early and I just don’t know how to be appropriately encouraging (or whether to just leave him alone!)
Lastly, I don’t know how to explain these changes in myself and DH and our family to other members of the family. They have been OVERWHELMINGLY supportive and helpful and kind and WONDERFUL since the moment we first got pregnant with DS. MIL and my GIL (DH’s grandma) watch DS when I’m working, my parents take him out for excursions, they include the kids in everything, I just cannot say enough about how they’ve helped us. But honestly, DS was already spending nights at their house by 10 weeks old! And I don’t allow DD to be without me for more than 2 hours or so at a time (like say, a dentist appointment). I know it is confusing for them and just don’t know how to handle it. ANY advice about ANY of this from some experienced natural mamas is MORE THAN WELCOME!!!!!! J
  Even though this is a great place to post an introduction, not as many people read it here, and they may not see it.  You might want to copy and paste parts of your story into a new thread in Parenting, Fertility and EC.  A lot of members here have experience dealing with family members.  You might also consider trying an LLL meeting or API or gentle parenting type of group in your area, if you haven't already.
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