Miss Behaving In Public

[SayOm]

So my 3.5 yo dd is usually good at home and I can keep her under control but lately she has been being very spirited in public. I use public transit and due to a fuel shortage most buses are only running once per hour so I can't just use the 'we'll go home now' tactic. For instance today she kept running away from me at the bus stop and playing in the grass, and when I told her to wait with me and the baby she said 'no i want to play' and started trying to climb a tree. This was were there were lots of people and cars so it was not safe to let her play in the grass near the tree.  I went to get her and she just lost it screaming at me for about twenty minuets. Nothing would distract or calm her she wanted to play and would not behave.  Any suggestions?

[hakeber]

Can you leave her with a friend for outings that require bus trips and explain that she cannot come with because she cannot be safe.  Or can you comprimse with her that you will stop at the park on the way home?

Maybe you could bring a toy or a book or a backpack of activities to keep her occupied and close by. 

When we lived in Buenos Aires at that age (a very busy city) we always packed a back pack with a juice box or two, a stack of fruit cookies, two coloring books a pack of crayons, three toy cars, a toy puzzle, a stack of yogurt cups (for the sandbox) stickers, etc etc and made sure to get to a park or indoor play area at least once a day. I don't know where you stand on screen time, but for really long trips (over two hours) I charged up and brought with me our portable DVD player.  It proved particularly helpful when we were stuck waiting for a bus for over an hour on the side of a highway and then stuck ON a bus in traffic for another two hours sans snack, toys or much money for those. 

In my experience, from the age of 15 mo - 4yr the only way to keep them close sans the use of harnesses or a vice grip on their hand is through bribery of fun activities later (Not the most GD but when all else fails it sometimes helps to have it an Ace up your sleeve), or constant entertainment that is more enticing than the dangerous street, tree, street-side grass patch, etc.  I always felt like part mom part juggling act at that age...it's starting again soon, too!   

Here honey have a banana, no?  not a banana?  How about a jingley toy?  no?  Not that?  Do you want to try coloring on a page?  Good...(five minutes later) no more coloring?  How about a stack of cups?  is that fun?  Oh look you can knock them...No?  not interested in these either?  How about your juice?  want some juice?  etc etc etc.  Exhausting!

In fact by the time DS was 4 and I was pregnant with DD, I finally broke down and agreed to let DH buy a used very very cheap car because I just couldn't handle it anymore. 

[One_Girl]

I really am not a fan of kid leashes, but I suggest you get one and explain to her that since she is running away and not keeping herself safe lately she will need to wear it when you go out to help her stay safely close to you.  It may work to just explain the problem and what you will have to do if it continues, I did that with my dd when she was in a stage where she was sure it was just fine to run off and disappear in the mall because she had other things to do and I never had to follow through because she believed I would.  When we had to wait a long time for a bus I would try to distract my dd by having her jump a certain number of times or holding her hand and running with her back and forth between two spots very close to the bus stop.  I memorized a lot of stories and would tell her them then or just make up a nonsense one if the old ones weren't working (Robert Munsch stories are very predictable and easy to memorize),  I also had her bring a little backpack with things in it she could do like color with colored pencils (not crayons because they melt in the heat), stories to look at, and books to look at or read depending on the wait time.  Snacks are also really good to break out at the bus stop.  I bought dry fruit loops when it was on sale and bagged it as a quick and easy snack for a bus stop bribe.

[happymommy1]

First, there is nothing wrong with a tantrum especially if you ignore it. She will figure out that you do not care if she yells, you are not backing down and you will NOT lose. Is there and option to bring a bag w crayons, a book, or a favorite toy to keep her busy? Does she need more time at the park or playground? I also know that my 3 kids do better with a small allowance which is tied to behavior. The older two are the ones this really affects. If they talk back, say no, are rude to dad or nanny, misbehave in public they get a warning and then 5 cents is taken if the behavior continues. If they hurt someone or an objects then there is NO warning and 5 is taken. I am all about rewarding the positive when I see it so I give lots of praise for even the littlest things on a tough day. I like how you said thank you mommy or I like how you help with your brother. Oh and you could make a map or scavenger hunt list of things you see and check them off w her as you travel.:) Ialso give two or 3 choices that I can live with when misbehaviors or boredom occur. If the child doesnt choose, then I remind the kid that I will choose for him/her if needbe which usually helps them choose. Be consistent and it will get better. I hope this helps!