Am I crazy to introduce a pacifier at 21 months?

[loritalie]

I have three children (6, 4 and 21 months), and this third time around I feel exhausted.  I find myself getting overwhelmed and impatient with the children quite quickly.  Because I often wonder if weaning might help me feel more energetic (nursing is keeping me too thin and causing me to wake often at night) and help me be a better mother to the rest of the family - and because my husband no longer supports my nursing, I know it’s time to wean!

After one week of my peaceful, limit-setting strategy (which was successful with my other two), my DD is screaming and throwing fits.  Feeling impatient today, I searched my closet for an unopened present of pacifiers and decided to try them out with her during her nap.  I usually walk or drive her for naps, but was feeling extra exhausted.  She found the pacifier to be interesting, but eventually screamed for me again.  This evening, however, she asked for the pacifier after nursing and then fell asleep on her own.  I believe she even took it out of her mouth right before falling asleep.  Either way, it amazed me how easily she fell asleep without me.  

I don’t know how the next nights will be, but it they continue to be positive:

1) Should I be happy she likes a pacifier rather than me?  

None of my children were interested in a pacifier, blanky or cuddle toy (although I never really pushed these things on them) and I never offered a bottle.  With all of them I nursed them to sleep (I know, terrible habit).  I was essentially their pacifier, blanky, cuddly toy and bottle rolled into one.  I nursed the first two for 2 ¼ (DD) and 23 months (DS), respectively.  Weaning wasn’t easy, but I managed in a peaceful, no-crying way. 

2) Are there any negative consequences of her having a pacifier, particularly at her late age?

I believe the teeth alignment issue is the main one.  Anything else?  Or should I just muster the energy and try again to find a gentle approach to weaning her from me without the aid of a pacifier – like I did with the first two?  

As an aside, I do at times wonder if she has a gluten allergy (her stem cell report stated she has a predisposition for this allergy).  At 14 months when I was more actively introducing foods, she started getting warts and now has them all over her.  My feeling is that she may have been susceptible to the warts because her immune system may have been compromised from a potential gluten allergy.  This is another issue which I am trying to deal with – very difficult to prove anything.  About two weeks ago, I started treating the warts with medicine.  My husband needs me to do something about them, as my “wait and see” approach has only resulted in them spreading.  Because the warts are not going away, I wonder if she indeed has an allergy.

Poor girl!  She has “owies” (I believe the medicine could make her skin itch), potentially has an allergy and mom is trying to wean.

Thanks for your thoughts!

[MarianneH]

I just wanted to say that I have been wondering the same thing.  My son just turned 2 and I am wondering if introducing a pacifier would help him fall asleep without nursing - but don't want to regret it later.  I hope some of the other mamas can help with this question!

[Emmery'sMom]

Can I be honest? Yes, it's a bit crazy!! lol. First I have to say I am not anti-pacifier at all, I begged my DD to take one because I was in so much pain from 23/7 nursing, and at 3 1/2 months I finally found one she liked ok. She gave it up on her own 7 months later, much earlier than I was ready for her to give it up

I would try a soft spouted sippy cup with just a little bit of water in the bottom. Or a washcloth wrapped around an ice cube. Or a teething ring. Or maybe even the new teething pacis that are more for chewing than sucking. Or... well I don't know what else. Honestly if the paci works, then it works. But I would not let it go for long to try and keep her from getting super attached to it. Maybe just long enough for her to get used to falling asleep without nursing and then start clipping the paci, give the paci to a new friends baby, paci fairy, whatever you can do to ditch the paci that fits in with your parenting.

[amaayeh]

The same thought has run through my head with my DD who turns THREE next week!  I'm just exhausted and tired of being a pacifier myself.  However, I know it won't work with her, so it's a non-issue for me. 

It sounds like your child just needs a bit more comfort going to sleep.  I nurse mine to sleep as well.  Honestly?  I think it might be a fine transitional tool and I would be *shocked* if she wants the pacifier long-term.  It just might help her get through a few weeks of figuring out how to go to sleep without nursing.

Good luck!

[strmis]

That would be me.  DD is 35 mos and often uses a paci for bedtime.  Not as bad as I thought it would be.  I'm not a huge fan of it, but it has helped TREMENDOUSLY (for me anyways).  Most nights, DD nurses for 5 mins, has some water with ice from her sippy cup and then requests the paci. I try not to let it leave the room because it does suck when that thing gets lost, but all in all, she is not heavily dependent on it.  Just seems to use it for comfort instead of me.  Good luck to ya! Let us know how it goes and how you decide to go about things