Safe flight for mama and baby!

[MamitaM]

My boy and I will be flying across the country this Summer when he's about 10-11 months old. I won't be taking a car seat for him b/c I'll be on my own and need to carry him and our luggage on my own and a car seat would be to hard to bring along myself,I'm also only able to buy one seat.

I normally wear him the the Pikolo and hopefully he's still able to be carried that way in a few months. Do I wear my belt over that with him in if and should he be facing out or in during take off and landing?

What do I do if I need to use the bathroom during the flight? Will a flight attendant be willing to hold him for a few minutes? I'm not sure how easy it will be to wear him in the tiny bathroom while I pee.

Any tips on how to make the flight easier and safer for us?

Oh and should I wear a fake wedding ring so I look married? I've heard that some single moms get a hard time from staff if they don't look married.

[DahliaRW]

What is he going to ride in when you get to your destination?

If you want to truly be safe, he needs his own seat and a car seat.  No ifs, ands or buts.  But to be honest, we have flown with lap children because sometimes economically that's how you can afford to go.  We do bring our own car seats, though.  (At the time, it came down to taking our kids to visit my husband's 93 year old grandmother or not - and we wanted her to spend time with them).

You cannot wear your baby on the airplane.  You have to hold him.  And it doesn't really matter how, you just hold.  The only time it matters is there is a certain way to hold them in crash position if the plane is going down.

As for bathroom, you're on your own.  So wear elastic waisted pants or a skirt and be prepared to go one handed.

[PatioGardener]

I've flown in Ontario and to Eastern Canada with my baby (at 5, 9 and 10 months old) and never had an issue (I'm single too). I wear him, and I go pee before the flight in the family washroom in the airport - lots of space for you, baby and all luggage!

I find waiting RIGHT in front of the gate helps - often they ask us to board before the make any announcements. If you buy a seat and have a car seat the flight attendant will help you too - just ask. Also, they will often put you next to an empty seat if the flight is not full, so you can install your car seat in the window seat and sit in the aisle seat if that is the case.

I always gate check my car seat if there is no extra seat and if I couldn't buy a seat for DS.

Baby needs to be out of the carrier for take-off and landing and turbulence. It's a safety issue that I was upset about until I realized why. In a carrier baby's head is not supported - so if there is a sudden forward or backward movement and baby is in a carrier/wrap then baby's head will snap forward or backwards. If baby is in your arms (in the burping position) then baby will fly around but his head and neck will move with the rest of his body. That's how I understood it anyway.

Hope you have a great trip!

Edited by PatioGardener - 4/9/11 at 4:42pm

[an_aurora]

I too would recommend buying him a seat, or occupying an empty seat if there is one available, and using the car seat.  

[TheGirls]

I would bring the seat, even if you don't buy him a seat.  If there's an extra seat they'll usually let you use it for free.  It's much easier to have a seat at that age - they're big and strong enough that it can be uncomfortable to hold them in the tight quarters of an airplane for long periods.  I did fly with my DD as a lap child at 3mo, 8mo, 13mo, and 21mo. More recently I flew with her at 2.5, and twin infants at 3mo. I always brought a seat, and they'll let you gate check it if the flight is full.  You can put the seat on a rolling luggage cart to transport through the airport.  Then you can wear your DS and your carryon can go in the seat So you just have to tow one thing behind you, while wearing the baby, which isn't too awful.  Or you can carry your carryon and put the baby in the seat like a stroller.  I've done both, depending on the kid's mood. :-D

During the flight he will have to be out of the carrier for taxi, takeoff, and landing.  You just hold him in your arms. He should NEVER be inside your belt. You could crush him in a crash.  Some flight attendants will let you wear him during the flight, some won't.  For the bathroom, the flight attendants are often busy and you're usually on your own, IME, especially on shorter flights when the FA's are pretty much doing beverage service the whole time.  On longer flights they might be willing.  I've always just worn the baby in the bathroom.  My DP managed to fit in there with both our 2.5yo and one of the twins on our last flight (2.5yo had to use the potty).  It can be done, it isn't fun or pleasant though.  Try to avoid it if you can, and keep the clothing simple. 

Pack lots of snacks and special distracting toys.  I'm not single but I have flown alone with a child (and I don't wear a wedding ring) and never had a problem. 

[MamitaM]

He'll be using a seat that my friends grandson uses during our visit, he's just 3 months younger so he should fit in it just fine.


I really don't want to bring his seat b/c it will way to much for me to carry. I overheat very fast and if I'm wearing him and my back pack and have to carry or roll a seat behind me it will be to much for me. I'll overheat and then get into panic and stress mode. I'll actually bring a small stroller to help either lug the baby or luggage around the airport while we wait for our flight then check that at the gate. I've heard that car seats sometimes don't get treated very well when checked and I can't afford to have anything happen to my new seat. (I'm getting my new seat next week)

I thought I'd wear him and secure the belt around my waist, but have him on the outside of it so it isn't actually around him and then hold his back and his head during take off and landing. I'm a little afraid if I hold him that I may drop him or he may flop out of my arms somehow. I'm not even sure yet how he'll be fitting the Pikolo by then. He's a bit boy at almost 20 pounds now and tall too.

[leighi123]

You will not be allowed to have him in a carrier for take off and landing, the reason being they dont want him to be your air bag if there is a crash (he would be more likely to survive being dropped on the floor than crushed by your body).    I flew with ds lots of times as a lap baby and they ALWAYS made me take him out of the carrier for take off and landing.    Plus if you tend to get hot, the air on airplanes doesnt work until you are up in the sky so with a baby strapped to you in a small claustiphobic seat, it would be very uncomfortable.   

Is the seat at your destination an infant seat or a convertible?   If the baby is 3 months younger, it might be an infant seat which might not fit your ds.   I would find out.   Also do you trust that they havent checked their seat as baggage, washed/cleaned the straps, or done any other damage to it?   

If you are bringing a stroller anyway, you could bungee your convertible seat to it (many convertibles will fit on a stroller well enough to wheel it in the airport).    I usually bring my wheely suitcase, and strap the carseat to that.   I can wear ds or he walks.   

[MamitaM]

Ok sorry to sound like a total f*cking b#tch now, but there is no way I can bring a car seat with me. no way at all. IF (yes BIG if) I do bring a stroller it will be a cheap crappy one to help ease my load of a big bag or a big baby at the air port and not to hold my car seat in. Yes I do trust my friend and the seat that she for me to use. She knows how big my son is and she knows I will not use a seat that is to small etc........................... She thinks of my son as her grandson so she'd never put him a seat she wouldn't put her own bio grandson in.
Edited by MamitaM - 4/9/11 at 9:13pm

[PatioGardener]

You'll cope in the airplane  - still ask if they can move you to be beside an empty seat. Your little one will then be able to stand and look out the window, or crawl around that other seat. Hopefully the arm rest will go up between your 2 seats and give you extra room. The bigger planes are better for walking with baby if needed - great for calming or distracting. I always wear my DS if I'm walking with him.

The flight attendant will show you the safest way to hold baby during take-off and landing. My guy was 23 lbs the last time we flew and it was fine.

I carried is diaper bag/toy bag as my backpack and kept it on the floor for immediate access. The coats etc went in the overhead bin. Flight attendants were great and so happy I was nursing as he was quiet! :)

For me, getting through security is always the worst. Be well prepared ahead of time! And go through the "baby" fast-track!

[TheGirls]

I have no problem with you borrowing a seat from your friend when you get there.  I recommend bringing the seat so you have a shot at having it onboard.  Especially if you over heat easily.  IME one of the downsides of a lap baby is that it can be EXTREMELY hot & uncomfortable to sit in a teeeny tiny seat with a baby strapped to your chest (during the flight, he'll just be loose in your lap for takeoff & landing) and other passengers sitting practically on top of you.  If you're in first class it might be better, but I'm assuming you are not.  Airplane air temps can be pretty variable.  If you have a seat, you may have the option to put him next to you in his own seat, so you can each have your own space.  It is much easier this way.  Pulling or pushing a luggage cart with a carseat on it and a baby inside the carseat is no more difficult than pushing a stroller with the baby in it.  Gate checking a carseat is at least somewhat safer than baggage-checking it at the beginning.  If you have an expensive seat, a Cosco Scenera is usually around $50, and is extremely light weight.  Mine has seen many flights. :-D

I totally understand why you'd want him in a carrier the whole time, but it isn't safe and they most likely won't allow it.  I've been on 20+ individual flights and only once have I had a flight attendent who kinda looked the other way at a worn baby, and that was only for landing when the baby had been screaming most of the flight and finally fallen asleep inside a carrier (not my baby, btw).  My guess is she didn't want to deal with waking the baby so she pretended not to notice.  The rest all make sure to come over and tell you to take the baby out of the carrier, then they check when they check to make sure everyone is buckled and the seats are all upright.  They usually insist even if you have to wake the baby up to do it.  Probably 50% of the time, they won't let you put the baby back in the carrier until the flight is over.  You need to plan on holding him in arms, possibly for the whole flight, if you don't have a carseat for him. It's part of the "lap baby" deal. 

[MamitaM]

I don't mind holding him for the whole flight since at home I do hold him most of the day anyway, so it won't be a huge difference on some ways. I think on the plane I'll be fine with the temp, it's when I'm out walking around I really overheat. I'll wear him in the airport and if the flight attendants tell me I have to hold him rather then wear him that's ok. I expect them to to tell me how to wear or hold him a the safest way.

I don't even have a car seat yet, ok well I do but it's his bucket and he's 2 pounds away from being to big for it and he's getting a new seat Tuesday, probably a Safety 1st Scenera since it's cheap,but has good ratings for a cheaper seat and we won't be using it much anyway since I don't even have a car.I just know that I will not be able to manage all this stuff on my own so adding a car seat to the mix would so stressful for me and from experience with other things I know it will get me into a panic attack and I'd like to avoid that while on vacation.

[an_aurora]

The title of the thread is 'safe flight for mama and baby', and the safest way to fly is with baby in a car seat :)  I have flown with two kids and two car seats by myself, and it's most certainly doable.

[TheGirls]

I'm a bit concerned about the "all this stuff" that you keep mentioning.  To make flying with a kid not completely overwhelming, I HIGHLY recommend minimizing your carryon.  One backpack for carryon, one child, and one carseat (which has a luggage cart on it so the child can ride in it) should be very reasonable for one person to handle in an airport.  It's really no worse than a diaper bag, a stroller and a child going, well, anywhere.   Without the carseat/rolling cart, you'll have to wear both the backpack and the child, which would be fine by me, but I can't see how taking some of the load off your body (to put it in the carseat) would make you more likely to overheat.  Perhaps I don't understand your heat issue though. 

[bremen]

it is not helpful to post about how to carry a carseat, what to do with a carseat on the plane, all these carseat-on-plane tips when the mama in question won't have a carseat on the plane.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by TheGirls 

I'm a bit concerned about the "all this stuff" that you keep mentioning. .....I HIGHLY recommend minimizing your carryon.  One backpack for carryon, one child,  should be very reasonable for one person to handle in an airport. 

My suggestion is slightly different, but not much.  No carseat?  Fine, no carseat - my ds has never had one on a flight before, although his next flight he will b/c he's too old to be a lap baby.  Wear baby through security - its fastest and easiest.  And then, instead of a backpack for a carry-on, take a rolling suitcase (or a rolling back pack - one of the REALLY small ones).

Then, an MDC mama gave me some AMAZING tips for the airplane (WAY back when ds was 4 or 5mo and we went on our first flight together).

Organization is KEY - 1 gallon size baggie (I used ziplock) for diaper stuff.  Small tube of ointment, 2-3 dipes, a few wipes, a recieving blanket for him to lay on, and an extra shirt.  (put extras of EVERYTHING in your main carry on - this bag is ONLY for when you actually change dipes in the bathroom)  Then, another 1 gallon bag for toys - a rattle, a book, something fun that he hasn't seen before - the sassy baby photo album was fabulous for my ds around 12-15mo.  Then another 1 gallon baggie for snacks and such.  It makes it really easy to get what you need, when you need it.

As far as peeing, you said your ds will be 10/11mo right?  Is he starting to walk or cruise at all?  My ds was walking super early, so we didn't have any problems with it - I would sit to pee and he would stand in front of me holding onto my legs.  Occassionally I find myself sitting next to a sweet woman who will hold him while I use the bathroom.

ALSO - (sorry for the book!!)  Make CERTAIN that when you get to the airport that you ask for the bulkhead at the front of the plane.  That will give you a bit more leg room so baby can sit on the floor for a few minutes.  The aisle seat is great when they arne't mobile, but once they're mobile I like the window in the bulkhead seat.  Most of the time, as long as they don't have too many disabled passengers they will give a lab-baby a bulkhead.  This has the added bonus of being right next to the flight attendant station - and I've only had positive experiences with flight attendants!  one made DS a make-shift rattle by pouring water out of a little water bottle and putting those wings in it.  Then every time she noticed I was nursing she asked if I needed a drink or anything.  They also give DS extra snacks (you know, in between trips down the aisle to pass them out).  It's been really great.  JetBlue has always been the BEST - by far. 

Good luck and safe travels!!!

[SithLadyFred]

I don't have babies yet but I helped one of my best friends fly across the US recently with her twin boys, who were 11 months. We didn't take carseats either.

When you hold them for take-off, we were instructed to hold them up against our shoulder (like burping positions) and the boys did great. I dunno if there are other positions you can hold them in but definitely ask a flight attendent and they'll give you some instructions.

Something you need to make sure you do is notify the airline that you will have an on-lap infant with you. There's only one extra emergency air mask per side row, so there can't be more than one on-lap baby per side row. My friend and I each got an aisle seat for this reason (so we were in different side rows).

For landing, it's generally a lot rougher on the ears for everyone, including your little one. My friend was unable to breastfeed longer than five months due to PPD medications so we each just used a bottle and fed the boys that way as we descended. The sucking and especially the swallowing helps to pop their ears and keep them comfortable. Since it's just you and your baby, if you breast feed just be prepared to pull out the breast for your baby once descent starts. If you FF, just have a bottle ready to go in the seat back pocket.

Holding the baby in the carrier/sling once you're in the air is okay, too.. you'll just have to take baby out for final landing and they may have you put him over your shoulder again but you may also be able to keep cradling him if he's nursing.

We were able to pass off the boys to eachother if one of us had to go to the bathroom, but I would not count on a flight attendent holding your baby for you.. I do think you'll be able to manage though babywearing in the bathroom, the suggestions to wear accessible clothes is a good idea!

Two final things- I've flown a lot lately and it's becoming rarer and rarer that any seats are left open. They're cutting back flights and really packing them due to fuel costs, so never, ever count on there being an open pair of seats somewhere so you can have an extra just in case. We bought one seat next to my friend because we were flying for about 5 hours and when one of the boys got restless they could stand there and look out the window, ect. It depends on your flight but I think if you're going for 4+ hours on the plane it may be worthwhile to look into buying another seat just so you have a little more room in case it's needed. That's entirely up to you, though.

Annnd, if you get to select your own seats, it's "louder" in the back of the plane which is where we were seated but IMO this was great- when the boys fussed, the sound was drowned out pretty handily and the sound also worked kind of like white noise and they slept through most of the flight except for some short bursts of energy.

Anyway, good luck and I hope some of this stuff helped!

[JBaxter]

Originally Posted by an_aurora 

The title of the thread is 'safe flight for mama and baby', and the safest way to fly is with baby in a car seat :)  I have flown with two kids and two car seats by myself, and it's most certainly doable.

THIS!   I always buy a seat for the boys.   did you not just see what happened to the south west plane where part of the roof peeled away?  I have flown with a toddler car seat  and a 6 yr old.  I put the car seat in the car set and put a bungie cord around it  put Jack in the ergo  let my  now 7 yr old carry his back pack and carry on carry on with snacks and small items.  You can hope there is an extra seat available but other flyers are not obligated to move to accomidate you.  The safest way is to buy and take his car seat.

[MamitaM]

Really great advice mamas! Thank you! I hope to be super organized and I normally am,especially when I travel, but I've never done it with a baby before. I love the idea of the ziplock bags to help keep things separated. I'll definintly use this idea for sure.

I plan to take one carry on bag,it's a back pack or it changes into a bag that goes over the shoulder and holds a lot. I plan to have all our stuff in that for the whole trip and store it above the seat. Then in my purse, it's also a good size and it goes over my shoulder messenger style if I need it to will hold about 6 diapers and a bag of snacks for us both and a sippy with water and all out tickets and papers they may ask for. Then I'll have the Pikkolo. So it isn't much stuff really.

My boy is BIG! Almost 20 pounds right now and I wear him on the front. I don't know if I'll be able to wear him on the front by the time we go so that's why I was thinking of getting a cheap umbrella stroller for the trip. I don't think I could wear the back pack and him at the same time.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by MamitaM 

Really great advice mamas! Thank you! I hope to be super organized and I normally am,especially when I travel, but I've never done it with a baby before. I love the idea of the ziplock bags to help keep things separated. I'll definintly use this idea for sure.

My boy is BIG! Almost 20 pounds right now and I wear him on the front. I don't know if I'll be able to wear him on the front by the time we go so that's why I was thinking of getting a cheap umbrella stroller for the trip. I don't think I could wear the back pack and him at the same time.

DEFINITELY use the ziplock baggies - it was a LIFESAVER each and every time we go anywhere.

If he's big, and you don't know if you will be able to wear him (I have no idea what type of stroller you have right now - so take this with a grain of salt), you should look into a Maclaren - they are incredible, and mine has had the cr@p beat out of it, and its still almost good as new.  It's super light (around 8-10lbs depending on the model), and you would be able to just hang all your stuff on it while walking through the airport - no carrying anything!  They are expensive, but man, mine has been worth its weight in gold.

[SithLadyFred]

How long is your trip? and What flier/carrier are you going with (if you don't mind me asking).