I find it depressing that people don't hesitate to suggest "breaking" their children, but we often wonder if we should push our attachment parenting beliefs on people. :( Myself, I don't like to wade into these arguments either.
I think one of the best books around is The Wonder Weeks. It's based on over 30 years of research and shows which periods babies will be fussy and their sleep disrupted. 9 months is one of the hardest sleep regressions there is. It's totally normal. I joined The Wonder Weeks Facebook page to see what advice the researchers and authors of the book were giving. Nothing more than "give them love and security and wait it out."
I try to bring up sleep regressions and wonder weeks so at least it helps them understand that their child is behaving normally and may not be in any need of "training."
I also try to suggest non-CIO methods ("Positive Routines with Faded Bedtime" and "Extinction with Parental Presence" -- you never leave them alone) that have been clinically proven to work JUST AS WELL. Link here: http://www.parentingscience.com/Ferber-method.html
I think a lot of parents are uneasy about CIO and don't want to do it, but then 10 of their friends tell them they "have to" to do it or their children will be messed up forever. Then they try to do it, but do it half-heartedly, and the whole thing turns into a confused mess.
Maybe they just need a little reassurance. 1. That their children are normal. 2. That there are other methods. 3. That there are parents who use other methods. You don't have to start arguing with the other parents. Just ignore them and the CIO stuff. I find if you criticize CIO, it just sets up their back. I just try to offer alternatives.
I found this somewhere. :)
Sleep Training – A Baby’s View
OK, here’s my situation. My Mommy has had me for almost 7 months. The first few months were great–I cried, she picked me up and fed me, anytime, day or night. Then something happened. Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to STTN (sleep thru the night). At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is only getting worse. I’ve talked to other babies, and it seems like it’s pretty common after Mommies have had us for around 6 months. Here’s the thing: these Mommies don’t really need to sleep. It’s just a habit. Many of them have had some 30 years to sleep–they just don’t need it anymore. So I am implementing a plan. I call it the Crybaby Shuffle.
It goes like this:
Night 1–cry every 3 hours until you get fed. I know, it’s hard. It’s hard to see your Mommy upset over your crying. Just keep reminding yourself, it’s for her own good.
Night 2–cry every 2 hours until you get fed.
Night 3–every hour.
Most Mommies will start to respond more quickly after about 3 nights.
Some Mommies are more alert, and may resist the change longer. These Mommies may stand in your doorway for hours, shhhh-ing. Don’t give in. I cannot stress this enough:
CONSISTENCY IS KEY!! If you let her STTN (sleep through the night), just once, she will expect it every night. I KNOW IT’S HARD! But she really does not need the sleep, she is just resisting the change. If you have an especially alert Mommy, you can stop crying for about 10 minutes, just long enough for her to go back to bed and start to fall asleep. Then cry again. It WILL eventually work. My Mommy once stayed awake for 10 hours straight, so I know she can do it.
Last night, I cried every hour. You just have to decide to stick to it and just go for it. BE CONSISTENT! I cried for any reason I could come up with. My sleep sack tickled my foot. I felt a wrinkle under the sheet. My mobile made a shadow on the wall. I burped, and it tasted like pears. I hadn’t eaten pears since lunch, what’s up with that? The cat said “meow”. I should know. My Mommy reminds me of this about 20 times a day. LOL. Once I cried just because I liked how it sounded when it echoed on the monitor in the other room. Too hot, too cold, just right–doesn’t matter! Keep crying!! It took awhile, but it worked. She fed me at 4am. Tomorrow night, my goal is 3:30am. You need to slowly shorten the interval between feedings in order to reset your Mommies’ internal clocks.
P.S. Don’t let those rubber things fool you, no matter how long you suck on them, no milk will come out. Trust me.
Edited by Ginger Bean - 4/10/11 at 12:21am