I somehow fell behind on this thread. Glad a few peeps re-invigorated the discussion!! How you doin', seili!!??
Right now, I am planning to have a homeirth, HBA2C. I've tried to labor in the hospital twice now, and my long start-and-stop labors are not tolerated in a hospital. I am not any more concerned with uterine rupture than I am about cord prolapse or any other unlikely complication with any pregnancy. I have an experienced midwife that I trust, and I know that she is quite capable of detecting problems and transferring to the hosptal in a timely manner. That is how I feel today, anyway. I am usually a total science geek, looking at the studies and stats, trying to find the absolute safest choice, but the truth is, there are risks no matter what I decide. So, I am following my gut on this one. The frustrating aspect of following your gut, though, is that there is never a deadline to decision making. I could be in early labor, decide that something is not right, and opt for a 3rd section. I don't see myself doing that, especially after my last TOL, but if I have learned anything in this journey of pregnancy, birth and motherhood, it's that: I am stronger than I give myself credit for and although the only thing I can control is my attitude, that's sometimes all it takes.
Great stuff. Totally resonates with me, and the whole 'risks no matter what I decide' is something my awesome hubby keeps reminding me. I can find stuff to back up or dispute just about every cotton pickin' aspect of my upcoming birth.
If only it were that simple then we women wouldn't have to deal with those pesky vaginal births at all. Actually, you might be onto something . . . 'standard' vaginal birth does pose quite a problem these days in the hospital setting. This is why I'm doing my job here at home - I don't want a 'standard' vaginal birth; I want a (what should be) 'normal' one.
Yeah, I definitely have concerns with both choices. Still the immediate dangers of VBAC still weigh on me, but my next step is to research if many of those cases were induced.
I'm sure no matter what I ultimately decide, I will still have concerns because that is just the nature of living and definitely can be more apparent when you are pregnant. And I do tend to over-analye.
I am sure if I choose the repeat c-section, that I will be a nervous wreck! Sometimes I get nervous just walking into a doctor's office. ha! My c-section with my first-born was so different because I was in so much pain that I could not wait for them to get the epi started again and get the c-section. It was almost heavenly.
I do wonder if any of the interventions caused me to stall, but I am really scared of what might happen if I try again. I do wonder if breaking my waters and the pitocin caused him to not position correctly. He was posterior the whole time, but he did try to turn. But for some reason, I am just rather scared of trying, even though I will be beyond nervous for surgery, I think I am more worried about what could go wrong during a VBAC. For me.
I don't mind not ever having a vaginal birth because even though I love the idea of a natural birth, when possible, I think that death is also natural, so in some situations, it is better to abandon natural and reach for life. It saddens me that so many women that have had c-sections feel so despondent, though...so despondent that they have a hard time celebrating their child's birth. I know not everyone is like that, but of course, through all of my reading, you see a lot of that utter depression over it, that I usually don't understand.
This is pretty typical 'fear' stuff I'm reading. It's not anything you can't work through if you so desire. (I just *hate* to see mamas making fear-based decisions!! And I don't at all mean that as a criticism of you.) But if you decide on RCS, you'll be able to plan/prepare for a good experience there. No reason to feel guilty, IMO, about your decision. And you can always change your mind - at 20w, at 30w, even at 39+6w and beyond!!!
Ditto. I was fine - felt like a friggin' awesome powerful mama. But then when I went to the post partum appt and heard "rupture" and "small pelvis" and stuff, I felt betrayed to a certain extent. Then I found ICAN in 2007 and the learning began . . . and I'm still learning! Seriously, one of the best things for me was joining their yahoo group list.
I think it's really wonderful that you are pondering both decisions so carefully. I will say that if you do decide to VBAC, I think it takes very real commitment on your part. I think you will find this post on The Unnecesarean very helpful. I really loved reading it:
Totes agree, lawmama! kmom is the best.
Speaking of kmom, she has fantastic resources for plus-sized mamas AND for all mamas - http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/firstindex.html. I've been over there a lot this pregnancy, especially mulling over the VBAmC stuff she has posted there.