spotlight Apr 10-16: JupiteRain48, puente, Shonahsmom, Snugglebugmom

[~pi]

Welcome to the third Oct 2011 DDC spotlight thread!

This week, the spotlight is on:

29 Sept – JupiteRain48 (Emily), #2
1 Oct – puente (Bridget), #1
1 Oct – Shonahsmom, #3
1 Oct – Snugglebugmom (Iris), #3

Previous weeks:

Week 1: MamaMcBride, ValH, akind1, purplerose, dragondreaming

Week 2: korintherin, auntbeabea, durafemina, ~pi, fourbeautifulgirls

How this works

If your name is listed above, this is a spotlight on you! Please answer all questions you have time for and feel comfortable answering.

Everyone else, ask questions of the five DDC members listed. Silly questions, serious questions, whatever you want to know!

When will everyone's thread happen?

I will start a new thread every Sunday. (If anyone else wants to help with this, PM me!)

We'll go in groups of 5, working our way down the list. Right now, that means the last spotlight thread will start in mid-September. I am taking the list from capretta's carefully maintained roster, so if you are not on that list, make sure to get on it if you want to be part of the spotlight threads.

What if I don't want to be in the spotlight?

That's OK. Just PM me to let me know. Or just don't answer any questions when your thread comes around.

We are going on the default assumption that people who have signed up on the roster are interested in talking with the rest of us and getting to know each other, but if you don't feel comfortable answering a bunch of questions on a public forum, that's perfectly OK.

What if someone doesn't answer?

This is one of the advantages of having so many people. With 5 people in the spotlight each week, chances are good that at least a few of each group will be able and willing to answer questions.

Edited by ~pi - 4/10/11 at 8:22pm

[~pi]

Questions to get us started:

What does your MDC user name mean? How did you choose it?

What are some causes / charities / etc. that are important to you?

Do you like to read? What are a few of your favorite books? (Either all-time faves, or ones you have read lately.)

What are your favorite guilty (or perhaps not so guilty) pleasures?

If you could take a one-month trip anywhere in the world, price no object, where would you go?

What were you like as a teenager? If you could go back in time, what would you tell your teenage self?

How do you think your background and childhood influence the way you approach parenting?

If you already have older children, tell us a little bit about each of them. If you are a first time mom, tell us what you are most excited about when it comes to starting a family.

[Snugglebugmom]

What does your MDC user name mean? How did you choose it?

I picked it shortly after my oldest was born because I called her my snugglebug. Snuggling is big with both my girls!

What are some causes / charities / etc. that are important to you?

Anything that has to do with children. 

Do you like to read? What are a few of your favorite books? (Either all-time faves, or ones you have read lately.)

I have so many favorites! I love everything Stephen King, not because of the horror element, but because his writing style is so engaging that it pulls me in practically immediately, no matter the subject. Also high on my list: "The Hobbit" and the "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy. 

What are your favorite guilty (or perhaps not so guilty) pleasures?

A tall non-fat, no-foam Starbucks latte with an oatmeal raisin cookie! Very guilty pleasure, how can you justify spending six bucks on a cup of coffee with a cookie?!

If you could take a one-month trip anywhere in the world, price no object, where would you go?

Either home, to Holland, to see my people and speak my language, or a month in downtown Manhattan, living it up. I went to New York by myself nine years ago, and fell in love with the city. 

What were you like as a teenager? If you could go back in time, what would you tell your teenage self?

I was an unbelievably dramatic, dark, intense, intelligent girl. I had totally unrealistic ideas about love, and viewed the world as in a romance novel from the nineteen fifties. If I could go back now, I would hug my younger me and say:"Honey, lighten up. It is not as dramatic as all that. And you know what? In the end it will be alright, you will be alright! Trust me... I know."

How do you think your background and childhood influence the way you approach parenting?

My parents got divorced when I was twelve, and my mom died of cancer the day after my twentieth birthday. As a result, I have some abandonment issues, issues with letting go, and I want more than anything for my children to grow up in a safe, happy home. Right now that doesn't look all that promising, and that is very hard for me to deal with.

If you already have older children, tell us a little bit about each of them. If you are a first time mom, tell us what you are most excited about when it comes to starting a family.

My oldest is sweet-natured, very compassionate, and very much her mother's daughter in the sense that she is as big a drama queen as I was. She is very loving and spontaneous.

My youngest is bright, funny, and unbelievably energetic. She knows exactly how to push her sister's buttons, and can be a little bully. She is the quintessential performer and will do anything to get a laugh out of you. Like her sister she is also very very affectionate and loving.

It never ceases to amaze me that two children from the same parents, with virtually the same upbringing, can be so completely different. 

[puente]

Originally Posted by ~pi 

Questions to get us started:

What does your MDC user name mean? How did you choose it?

It means Bridge in Spanish.  I used it to explain how to pronounce my name (Bridget) to folks in loud bars during my study abroad in college.  It just stuck. 

What are some causes / charities / etc. that are important to you?

I work to end homelessness in my day-to-day life, so that's a big one.  My life long cause is human rights. 

Do you like to read? What are a few of your favorite books? (Either all-time faves, or ones you have read lately.)

It's my very favorite thing.  All time favorites include Anna Karenina and Alice in Wonderland, but I mostly read sci fi/fantasy.  Favorite authors to read anytime: Neil Gaiman, Patricia Briggs, Kelly Armstrong.   I'm enjoying Kat Richardson, Carolyn Crane, and Seanan McGuire right now. 

What are your favorite guilty (or perhaps not so guilty) pleasures?

Reading, or barring that, fiction in any form.  I love ice cream and french fries, but I'd go with fiction anytime. 

If you could take a one-month trip anywhere in the world, price no object, where would you go?

New Zealand.  Or Latin America. 

What were you like as a teenager? If you could go back in time, what would you tell your teenage self?

Too driven for my own good.  My mom paid me to get grades less than A in junior high (I would have made $20 for each F), and she told me I'd be grounded if I got straight As again (I got a B in PE.).  I got perfect grades, did every afterschool activity, worked several jobs at the same time, and tried to be everything to everyone.  I slept less than 4 hours a night.  I was also fairly creative and dressed... oddly.  I was a good friend, idealistic, and honestly, I'd love to hang out with that me.  The new one is a little too jaded and not nearly as interesting.  Teenage me was one of my best selves, and I sometimes wonder if I'm living up to her expectations. 

How do you think your background and childhood influence the way you approach parenting?

Lordy, lordy.  That's probably one of the key reasons I've waited this long to have children-- this is my first.  I have no idea how I'm going to parent and how my history will affect my choices. 

If you already have older children, tell us a little bit about each of them. If you are a first time mom, tell us what you are most excited about when it comes to starting a family.

As a first time mom, recently I've been mostly focused on what I'm most worried about when it comes to starting a family (can I really do this? really?), so I like this question.   I'm most excited about meeting this person I'm making from scratch, and learning from the beginning, about who s/he is, what s/he likes, and how s/he solves problems.  I think that will be really, really fun.

[~pi]

Wow, such interesting answers. Thank you!

Iris, where in the Netherlands are you from? (My dad moved to North America from there when he was younger.) And, if you feel comfortable sharing, what do you mean that safe and happy isn't looking likely? I hope you are OK.

Bridget, I love the story of your user name! What is it that do toward ending homelessness, if you can share? Wow, your mom's reaction to your grades sounds rather unusual.

[JupiteRain48]

Originally Posted by ~pi 

Questions to get us started:

What does your MDC user name mean? How did you choose it? It was a screen name I pick years ago (10+) with my first AOL account. I can't remember why or how I picked it though! It's easy for me to remember, so I've stuck with it.

What are some causes / charities / etc. that are important to you?

Do you like to read? What are a few of your favorite books? (Either all-time faves, or ones you have read lately.) I do like to read, but I haven't been able to stay focused on finishing any books in recent weeks. The last book I read was The Help. Loved it. I also love Buddhism for Mothers and keep that on my night stand, so I can reach for it on those rough days.

What are your favorite guilty (or perhaps not so guilty) pleasures? Jiff Peanut Butter, One Tree Hill and talking to my dogs.

If you could take a one-month trip anywhere in the world, price no object, where would you go? I'm not really sure a month away from home seems like a lot for me. I'd love to travel around Europe though.

What were you like as a teenager? If you could go back in time, what would you tell your teenage self?  I don't even know what I would say to myself. I was a difficult teenager. My poor parents.

How do you think your background and childhood influence the way you approach parenting?

If you already have older children, tell us a little bit about each of them. If you are a first time mom, tell us what you are most excited about when it comes to starting a family. I have a wonderfully active 2.5 year old little dude.. He keeps me on my toes and makes me laugh every single day.

[Snugglebugmom]

Originally Posted by ~pi 

Iris, where in the Netherlands are you from? (My dad moved to North America from there when he was younger.) And, if you feel comfortable sharing, what do you mean that safe and happy isn't looking likely? I hope you are OK.

I'm from the northeast part, which is usually viewed as more rural. Before I moved to the US, I lived in a town called Assen, the province capital and a lovely little city. 

As for the second question... are you sure you want the answer?!

Right now my husband and I are going through a rather turbulent time. I found out on Friday that because he never followed through on getting our oldest her Canadian citizenship card (something he swore up and down he would get done), my permanent residence application which was filed ten months ago and is just now at the top of the pile, will not be processed until they have her proof of citizenship. Average processing time for those: ten months. So ten more months without health care for me, having to forgo prenatal care, having to either UC or pay for a hospital birth out of pocket (and we are flat broke as it is). I blew up at him about not ever taking care of things like that (this is a long term annoyance for me and something we have fought over a lot) and he told me that he was tired of everything and wants to separate. Yeah. I am 15 weeks pregnant, have no status in this country and no means to support myself, no friends, no family, no one to fall back on, no money, and my husband wants to separate. 

I have been battling immigration issues for three years now, and this is not the first setback, but it's one I was really not counting on, I thought I was almost there. So very disappointing. 

[capretta]

Whoa, Iris. So sorry you are going through this right now. I hope everything works out alright.

[~pi]

Iris. That is so stressful and hard. This doesn't help the bulk of your problems, but for health care, did you know that you are eligible for care at a community health centre? Part the mandate of Ontario CHCs is to provide care for immigrants who are not yet on OHIP or who won't ever be on OHIP for any reason. You can find ones near you by entering your postal code here. And I know at least one group of midwives that cares for women without OHIP -- they have a special fund for that. You might want to call and ask your nearest midwifery practice. Of course, your access depends a little on where you are. Anyway, if you want to UC, that's a valid choice, of course, but if you'd like to have the option of getting some care, those are options to explore.

Also, to process paperwork more quickly, you may want to get your MP involved. Now, with the election on, is an excellent time to make them want to create good impressions. I once got my passport renewed in two days (vs. the 6-10 weeks they were quoting) by getting my MP's office involved. Point out that you are pregnant and have no OHIP because of this situation.

I am so, so sorry you are going through all this.

[Snugglebugmom]

Pi, thank you for that link, and for the tip about the midwives! I had no idea there were possibilities like that.

Funny thing though... Right after I posted my little rant (literally, I hit "submit" and went to get the phone) I called Immigration to find out if I had any other options. I spoke with a very nice lady who informed me that yes, I had to apply for my daughter's citizenship card and then send a letter to the processing center where they are working on my application that I had done so. I thanked her and said:"Okay, now here is where it gets interesting. I am 15 weeks pregnant and I would like to know if there is any way that I can be eligible for OHIP care (this is the free provincial health care in Ontario) while waiting for that card." She said rather impatiently:"But madam, you ARE eligible for OHIP care. It states so in the letter you received."

Umm what letter?

Then she laughed and said:"Oh, I'm sorry, that letter is still on its way to you... but yes, it's a letter of intent of approval, and with that you can apply for OHIP coverage."

I was so thrilled and so relieved, I must have thanked her a dozen times. So yes, one of my big worries has been lifted... decent prenatal care and no birthing on a street corner . 

[Shonahsmom]

Just wanted to say, "Hi!" and that I hope to stop in later today to answer the questions. Just got my toddler down for a nap and I'm headed that way myself.

[AKislandgirl]

Iris, what a huge stress! I'm so glad that you will receive health care though! Phew. Bug hugs for all you are going through.

Some more questions...

Sweet or savory for breakfast?

What is your favorite thing to have for dinner?

Do you like sunny and warm or cold and snowy better?

[Mainebirdgirl]

Iris! I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. I'm glad you have some health care options- that must be a huge relief. Still, I hope that your husband's reaction was just emotion and you can get through it. My thoughts and prayers are with you and please keep us posted. 

Everyone else- I LOVE reading these! Please keep them coming! 

The only question I'd like to ask:

What is your favorite thing about pregnancy?

[puente]

Originally Posted by ~pi 

Bridget, I love the story of your user name! What is it that do toward ending homelessness, if you can share?

I'm a policy attorney.  I help agencies and communities set up better systems to solve homelessness-- funding streams, program design, performance measurement.  That sounds really boring, doesn't it?

Originally Posted by AKislandgirl 

Sweet or savory for breakfast?

Savory, please.

What is your favorite thing to have for dinner?

Something with cheese.

Do you like sunny and warm or cold and snowy better?

Cold and snowy, any day.

Originally Posted by Mainebirdgirl 

What is your favorite thing about pregnancy?

All the new possibilities!

Iris, I worried about you all day!  I'm SO GLAD to hear such good news.  I'm hoping you have even more good news after your husband calms down.  And maybe he's learned a valuable life lesson?  (Ok, that's too much to hope, but hope springs eternal, right?)

[Snugglebugmom]

You guys are so sweet to be so concerned! It just makes my day. I'm doing alright, DH has said something like this before, years ago, so it might just be big words on his part. He hasn't said anything more about it. I'm dealing with a pretty nasty cold right now, so I'm not about to get into it with him again either lol. 
 

Sweet or savory for breakfast?

Definitely sweet! Waffles, pancakes, French toast... all with fresh fruit please! 

Of course in my daily life it's usually a slice of whole wheat bread with marmalade, or vanilla yogurt with cereal. 

What is your favorite thing to have for dinner?

A big old bacon cheese burger and a ton of French fries! I'm partial to A&W burgers, although I haven't had one in ages. And here in Canada, you can get them with poutine, which is the absolute best! (Poutine is French fries covered with cheese curds and doused in gravy. I know, it sounds disgusting, but it is heart-stoppingly, artery-cloggingly good!)

Do you like sunny and warm or cold and snowy better?

I'm a middle of the road girl... moderate temperatures please! Sunny and bright, with a bit of a breeze, and a temperature of around 22 degrees Celcius/ 74 degrees Fahrenheit would be my perfect weather! 

Quote:

What is your favorite thing about pregnancy?

The awesome idea that there is a whole new human being growing inside of me, it never fails to delight me. 

[Poodge]

Iris  to you! I am glad you have the health care part figured out, hopefully your DH comes around.  

To everyone:

What is your favorite, quick go to recipe?

Coffee or Tea?

Do you plan to go grey with grace or dye?

Do you watch TV, what is your favorite show? 

Soup, salad, sandwich - pick two and what type. 

Summer or winter? 

Do you sing in the car? Only when you are alone or when you are with others? 

[~pi]

Originally Posted by puente 

I'm a policy attorney.  I help agencies and communities set up better systems to solve homelessness-- funding streams, program design, performance measurement.  That sounds really boring, doesn't it?
 

Not boring at all! (But I like policy. Not enough to do it myself, but I think it's fascinating.)

Originally Posted by puente 

Cold and snowy, any day.
 

Have you considered that you may be living in the wrong part of the country?

Iris, I am so, so glad things are being worked out at least with your health care and citizenship.

More questions for all of you:

What's your idea of a great weekend?

Do you have certain things you want to get done before the end of your pregnancy? If yes, what are they?

If you had a clone who had to live a very different life from yours in an alternate reality, what kind of a life do you think she would have?

[dear abbey]

Originally Posted by puente 

I'm a policy attorney.  I help agencies and communities set up better systems to solve homelessness-- funding streams, program design, performance measurement.  That sounds really boring, doesn't it?

I think that sounds fascinating.

[Snugglebugmom]

What's your idea of a great weekend?

Sleeping in in the morning, having DH make pancakes for breakfast, going to Niagara Falls in the afternoon, go out to dinner at Montana's, and once the kids are in bed, veg out with a movie and a vodka and cranberry juice! That's the doable version (although not while pregnant lol). 

 A bit more unattainable: a weekend in downtown Manhattan, in a cushy four star hotel, catch a show on Broadway, picnic at Central Park, visit the Metropolitan Museum, and do a sunset cruise around the island. 

Do you have certain things you want to get done before the end of your pregnancy? If yes, what are they?

Hmm... well, aside from my healthcare woes, not much. We don't do a nursery because we cosleep. What I would like, is to get my girls rooming in in oldest's room well before this babe is born. I was planning on getting bunk beds for them in the summer time, but to be honest, I shudder to think of the mayhem that will ensue when they share a room at bedtime!

If you had a clone who had to live a very different life from yours in an alternate reality, what kind of a life do you think she would have?

Very different from me... well, then she'd be a single professional woman, live in a big city, have a career as a high powered executive, attach a lot of importance to all things status, she'd always be perfectly groomed and have a stellar wardrobe... Ugh, to be quite honest just writing about it makes me feel depressed! If she was really a clone of mine, she'd probably be as miserable in that kind of life as I would be. 

Let's say she leads the life I would lead if I didn't have a family: she would work with kids, quite possibly homeless kids, live in a rather rundown farm house just outside of town, have a ton of cats, some sheep, alpaca and chickens, spin her own yarn and knit every free second, sell yarn and roving to make a buck because she'd never be able to make a decent living otherwise, she has few luxuries aside from an amazing amount of hand painted, hand spun yarn but she has everything she could ever want. Sounds a lot more fun!

[puente]

Originally Posted by Poodge 
 

To everyone:

What is your favorite, quick go to recipe?   Grilled cheese this morning, but I bet that changes on an hourly basis.

Coffee or Tea?  Both.  Also hot chocolate, and hot cider.  Warm drinks are about the best thing on the planet. 

Do you plan to go grey with grace or dye?  Grey with grace.  My mother didn't, and she became a cautionary tale.

Do you watch TV, what is your favorite show? Not now.  Historically, my favorites are (in no particular order): Firefly, Veronica Mars, Freaks and Geeks, Gilmore Girls, Alias (first few seasons), Deadwood, and The Young Riders.

Soup, salad, sandwich - pick two and what type. Soup- potato, Soup- broccoli and cheese.   (I know that's against the rules, but I have a very strong soup preference.)

Summer or winter? Winter.

Do you sing in the car? Only when you are alone or when you are with others? Absolutely!   Always when I'm alone, a fair amount with my husband, very very little with anyone else.

Originally Posted by ~pi 

What's your idea of a great weekend?  Good sleep Friday night, Farmers Market Saturday morning and cheese rolls from Arizmendi Bakery, Wine tasting/Kayak camping Saturday night, roll back into town for the last mass, reading all afternoon in front of a fire. 

Do you have certain things you want to get done before the end of your pregnancy? If yes, what are they?  The usual-- find a care provider I'm comfortable with, figure out day care, take that baby CPR class, declutter the house, a couple of roadtrips with the girls. 

If you had a clone who had to live a very different life from yours in an alternate reality, what kind of a life do you think she would have?  Wow!  What a question!  Can my reality be science fictiony?  I'd go with a PI on a planet with a bunch of folks from other universes or....a preistess with empathic powers that lives in the jungle.   

This has been fun ladies!  Thanks!