Pacifier Use in 18 mo

[ckirchmiller]

We recently switched doctors because it was becoming more and more evident that our old doctor just didn't jive with our parenting style. The last little piece of wisdom he shared with us before we left was that it was time to do away with her pacifier. My daughter was never an all-day paci user. We used it at night, for naps, and during car rides only. I mentioned this, but he said it didn't matter, it was bad for her teeth and had to go.

We quit cold turkey a few days after that visit during a nasty cold we both caught. It sounds mean, but she was so congested she couldn't suck on it anyway, and it just seemed to be frustrating her. The first night was very difficult, the second night was less difficult, and then she seemed fine. (Just in case anyone was wondering - it didn't change her nighttime habit of waking up every 1-3 hours in the least)

Fast forward three months and it finally dawned on me that ever since we got rid of it, she has only been napping 1-1.5 hours a day. After that point I pull her into bed and nurse her for however long I'm willing to lay there, usually 30 minutes to 1.5 hours. The same thing happens in the morning. She is obviously very tired when she wakes up the first time, but if I don't nurse her she will not go back to sleep. I think I've become her paci! It's very difficult for me to sleep while she's nursing, which is why we starting using a pacifier in the first place, so I feel like I'm losing big chunks of time and sleep in the morning which I desperately need. She also doesn't sleep in the car anymore, which makes road trips very tiring.

What do you think? Do I try to reintroduce the pacifier now? Maybe just put it in her bed after she falls asleep so she doesn't start to depend on it for falling asleep again? Or do I just continue on like I am, nursing her for an hour or hours after she wakes up? What's worse for a LO, dental problems or lack of sleep all around?

[McGucks]

Dental problems can't be predicted based on paci use or thumb sucking.  There are some generalities associated with use and I do understand that, but you can't say for sure whose teeth are going to look like what--my understanding is that it's mostly based on genetics.  And, yes, if it was me--I would reintroduce it for sure.  It comforts her and makes both of your lives easier--she's happier and mama's happier.  What's not to love?  p.s.:  If she does pick it up for a time again--whenever you and she are both ready to let it go--here's what we did with DS1.  We poked a tiny hole in the end, which makes it unsuckable.  You can keep it in your mouth, but the sucking satisfaction is gone.  I think DS1 was almost 4 when we did that.  DS2 won't suck his thumb or a paci, which I'm really sorry about.  I hear you about being your child's paci (BFing)--I feel that way too and have just decided to enjoy it while it lasts.  I am glad I can be that for him (well, usually :)

[pbjmama]

I would reintroduce it. I don't have a problem with older children using a paci and my ds had one until he was 4.5 with no teeth or mouth problems. And he used that thing ALOT. My dd still has hers a 3 and I do think it is causing some teeth issues. She didn't use it as much to begin with and I have started to limit paci use but I'm not going to take it away.

[anjsmama]

You definitely could reintroduce it, or try another sleep object. We took the pacifier from my DS at 2 years 5 months almost exactly the same way you described.. he had a cold and was screaming even WITH it in his mouth and it was frustrating him. We just tossed them. He also only used them for bed and naps, and occasionally car rides (anything over 10 min typically). I also noticed he seemed tired all the time after we took his pacifier even though he was falling asleep fine (without crying or asking for pacifier, etc). I thought about giving it back to him, but I felt like it may confuse him since we told him the pacifiers were gone. I told him we could choose something new for him to sleep with. I got him this little elephant that is soft and has a teether-type nose/face and it also sings this little lullaby. He teethes it to sleep, and sometimes when he wakes up in the middle of the night, I hear him start the music and go back to sleep (and of course, sometimes he just wants me).  Since getting his new friend (which he  calls "night night" , which is also what he called his pacifier), he seems to have normal energy again. I somewhat regret taking the pacifier from him when I know he really loved it, but it just didn't seem to be helping him anymore (he actually chewed on it more so than sucking). Just a suggestion - but like the PP said, I don't think there is any problem in reintroducing it. To avoid dental problems, kids gotta brush their teeth! Sucking on a pacifier at bed time isn't going to create an issue that doesn't exist otherwise. And as for the misalignment of teeth pediatricians are always ranting about, it's more of a genetic thing than anything else.  

P.S. - Totally feel you on the doc - Our pedi most definitely does not agree with our parenting style & I am searching for a new one...

[beebalmmama]

My ds had a paci until 3 yrs old. At 18 months we started limiting it to night time, naps and the car. I don't think he's had any dental issues because of it. My second ds is still using a paci at 16 months and we're just starting to think about keeping it for bedtime but he's been teething and it seems to comfort him.

I guess I might be slightly hesitant to reintroduce it.....but then if he seems genuinely tired and sleeping less because he doesn't have it then I'd probably reintroduce it. You could continue to just use if for naps/bedtime and see how it goes.

[flightgoddess]

Hm, she may have outgrown sleeping in the car, so don't give then. If she truly naps better and longer with the paci, give it to her if you want that. (My lil guy barely naps w/o the paci, and will sleep 2-3 hours if he does have it) But he is  2.5 and there are some bites in his pacis, and he's been told these are the last ones, when they are broken, they are broken. But he still clings to them, and sucks them too, holes and all. I'm sure once the hole becomes big enough, he'll just have to resort to holding them instead of sucking.

[JudiAU]

There is no scientific research that proves that pacifier use before the age of four is associated with dental issues. I'd let it go and enjoy the better napping.

Babies and toddler have a need to suck/

[anjsmama]

Originally Posted by flightgoddess 

Hm, she may have outgrown sleeping in the car, so don't give then. If she truly naps better and longer with the paci, give it to her if you want that. (My lil guy barely naps w/o the paci, and will sleep 2-3 hours if he does have it) But he is  2.5 and there are some bites in his pacis, and he's been told these are the last ones, when they are broken, they are broken. But he still clings to them, and sucks them too, holes and all. I'm sure once the hole becomes big enough, he'll just have to resort to holding them instead of sucking.

Haha! Sounds just like my DS. We also told him we just couldn't buy anymore since he would just chew and chew through them. And yes, he began holding them. :)

[ckirchmiller]

Thanks for all the positive words! It looks like I asked the question for nothing, because she won't take it back. Rats!

[tzs]

my kiddo rejected the pacifier when it was really too early for her...she still needed to suck to get to sleep or back to sleep but she wouldn't take it. she's also the type of kid that won't fall asleep with human interaction (rubbing back, rocking, etc....) it's just too much for her, she'd rather socialize and usually needs to be alone to fall asleep. we ended up switching to a bottle with warm water and it works like a charm. how i'm going to eventually get rid of THAT, i don't know, but that's down the road. there are those times when she wakes up too early and grumpy from a nap that i can just leave her with that warm bottle and it's a lifesaver.