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Good friend and mdc mom of 2 took her own life. How do I get through?

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 

I don't even know what to write here.  My very very dear friend ended her life Thursday.  We met on here and spent a lot of time together with our very tight knit MDC mama group.  We did play dates and moms night out and joint birthday parties.  Her, another friend, and I all had babies born within a 2 week period.  We had a birthday party for our "3 musketeers"  for their 1st, 2nd, and 3rd birthdays.  We were super close often spending time on the phone or emailing about any issues.  She was so so brilliant and always done up and put together.  She was funny and a true friend. 

 

She took her life less then a week after her baby turned 3 and a few weeks before her firstborn turns 6.  I have no idea the horrible pain she must have been in to do this.  That is the worst of it.

 

I am so so very sad for her children.  She was a good mama. 

 

I am wondering if anyone has gone through this, a mother leaving like this.  I can't wrap my brain around it.  I just wish i could hug her one more time and i wish us loving her had been enough to quell her pain. 

post #2 of 27

Have no words honey. I will pray for her family and you. 

 

hug2.gif 

post #3 of 27
Oh no. candle.gif I am so sorry. I will be thinking of her, you, and her family. How heartbreaking.
post #4 of 27

I am so sorry for what youre going through and for her children.  

post #5 of 27
Thread Starter 

Thank you for your prayers and good thoughts.  Our little group is so close and has had much trauma the last year.  I am so glad we have each other. 

 

Every time i hold my son that is the same age as hers i feel such a pain in my heart.  :(

post #6 of 27

candle.gif

I just can not believe she's gone.

post #7 of 27

I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and her family.

post #8 of 27

I am so sorry for your loss.  May I suggest writing a letter about all of your wonderful memories of her, and giving it to the children when they are adults. 

post #9 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A View Post

I am so sorry for your loss.  May I suggest writing a letter about all of your wonderful memories of her, and giving it to the children when they are adults. 



I think this is a great idea.  I'm so sorry for your loss and will keep her family and your group of friends in my thoughts and prayers in the coming weeks.

post #10 of 27

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost one of my best friends to suicide last summer and it is so immensely painful. One friend advised me to try take some time to myself every day to think about it....like to try to go for a walk in the woods for 15 minutes, or take a bath. It is so hard to grieve while caring for young children, and if you don't spend some time processing your emotions they can really boil over.

 

My heart goes out to you and to her poor family.

post #11 of 27
I'm sorry greensad.gif
post #12 of 27
Thread Starter 

I know Rach, it almost feels wrong to be on here since this is where i met her...

post #13 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A View Post

I am so sorry for your loss.  May I suggest writing a letter about all of your wonderful memories of her, and giving it to the children when they are adults. 



We are all getting the pics we have of her together to make a photobook for her kids.  I was also thinking of printing all the comments on her FB and the memorial page to make a little book with too. 

post #14 of 27

that is terribly sad.  i'm so sorry.  (i don't know if it's in poor taste to forum crash but i clicked the thread from the main page and then i couldn't read and not post.)  i think your ideas for honoring her and helping her kids remember her are very generous and also sound like a good way to spend time with your memories of her.  i will keep you, rach & the family in my prayers.

post #15 of 27
Thread Starter 

Thank you.  The memorial is tomorrow.  I just wish i could see her and hug her one more time.  I keep remembering all these things we were supposed to do together in the next few weeks/months.

 

post #16 of 27

oh no .... i am so so sorry. suicide is so heartbreaking greensad.gif

post #17 of 27

I am truly so sorry for your loss. Sending you my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. candle.gif

post #18 of 27

I don't know if I'll be coherent or say anything useful but one of my bff's committed suicide in October. She had a 5 month old baby and was suffering from severe postpartum depression. I really don't even know what to say. I scrolled through her facebook page today just searching for something. Some sign. Some note that she'd written that would remind me her. Let me hear her "voice" again. I have struggled and struggled to make sense of this. I suffer from severe depression (have all my life) so I know the kind of the pain she must have been in. It doesn't really help. I wish I knew what to say to you. I'm so sorry. I'm so so so sorry. I know it doesn't really help but I'm sorry. Feel free to PM me or reply if you think it would help. I wish I could think of something better to say. Tonight has been really hard for me.

post #19 of 27
Thread Starter 

It is really hard.  I am sorry for your loss too :(   The good thing is, we have a tight knit group of friends who all loved her and we can get through this together.  I miss her so much and think of her daily.

post #20 of 27
I am so sorry for all who are hurting. I have known several moms who have died for various reasons. It is incomprehensible to think about how this could happen. The best I can say, and it's the most cliche thing in the world, but time will help your pain. Children grieve developmentally. You know, missing mok at graduation, missing mom at wedding. I say this only because it is so important for the adults around to know. I have planted perrenials celebrating the life that touched me. It helps every year. May you find some peace.
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