I need to vent, so thank you in advance for listening.
Before kids, DH would cook and I would do dishes. He would do laundry sometimes and sometimes I would. Now that I am SAHM, I do it all. But I get nothing done. I am constantly overwhelmed by the state of the house. I get one room under control per week and then by the time I get another room tidy, the first one is a chaotic mess again. (DD is 5 and DS is 2 1/2 almost)
I came home from yoga tonight. The kids had been asleep for at least 40 minutes. The living room was worse than when I left. The toys I had told DD to put away were still out. And more too.
The kitchen had the same clothes, toys, dropped food on the floor, things from making dinner for today and tomorrow and recipes on the counter, dirty dishes in the sink. The bags from DH's latest grocery trip on the floor with receipts in them.
DH started the dishwasher and thinks that is enough! What?! Occaisionally DD (nearly 5) will do dishes and it is marvelous. But it comes on her whim. DH only does extra if I ask him specifically.
We don't have a routine around cleaning, and I don't know how to make it something the kids will do that I can keep doing and learn and feel good about. My Nana who helped raise me was addicted to routine and would freak out if she had to divert from it. I am turned off by routine, but feel lost without one too.
I feel like there is so much more to life, like I am always swimming up hill and never getting it done. I am not getting to my art or the learning I would love to do. I am not having fun. I have no energy for cleaning up the house, especially when DH will not help me very much.
He will if I specifically ask him to do diapers or fold laundry. But I don't want to be the boss on it All the time. Can't he take leadership too and see something needs doing and do it?
I have a guest coming for dinner tomorrow and he helpfully did make some food to share with her today, but cleaning up? What's that?
he says he's tired too, but he gets to talk to other grown ups all day, have his own thoughts, pee by himself, have uninterrupted phone conversations, and write down what he wants all day. I get that for 5 minutes if I am lucky.
I need more help and not sure how to get it. Livid. I said," How can I do the important things my life if I am always cleaning up after everyone and not even getting that done!?!"
He said "Maybe cleaning up is the important work you're supposed to get done."
I could have thrown a pizza at him.
After he left, I threw some of the food from the counter on the floor.
Thank you for listening.