Calling all mamas whose LOs STTN! - Page 2

[P.J.]

I haven't read the other responses, and I don't have the time to answer all the questions, but here goes:

Max has STTN pretty much from day 1!!! We have coslept from the beginning too, and yes he has and does still sometimes nurse at night, but I do not really consider that "getting up", as we are both only half-awake. Most nights I couldn't even tell you if or how many times he nursed at night. He's 10 months now and I think there are nights where he doesn't nurse at all, but I really am not sure as I don't wake up fully if he just takes a few sips, kwim?

He is not a great napper, however! He has only ever napped for 30 minutes at a time. In the last few weeks, he'll go down for an hour about 2-3 times / week for his morning nap, but that is new. He has usually 2 or maybe 3, 30 min naps per day. He goes down for the night around 8:30-9:00. He'll often sleep for an hour and then stir and I have to go in and get him back down. Sometimes that lasts until I join him (around 10-10:30), sometimes he will keep waking up every 20-30 mins and I then have to rush to get ready for bed cause I know he basically won't really fall back asleep until I'm in there with him.

Our bedtime routine is jammies, story, and lie down in the dark room with the white noise and a music box, then I may sing to him. He usually falls asleep within 5 mins, but some days it takes up to 20 mins if he's really revved up. He usually gets up in the morning anywhere from 6:30-8am, usually around 7:30. There have been a few short (luckily) phases where he was getting up at 5:00am. That was rough!

Of course there have been phases, usually not lasting more than a week, where he'll be up a lot at night. Just last week we had a run of about four nights where he was getting up 4-5x per night all fussy. Luckily, on these nights I may have to sit up and rock him, but I can count on one hand the number of times I've actually had to get up out of bed and walk him around in the other room to get him back to sleep. Usually I just have to nurse him back down.

I wear Max a lot during the day, and he eats pretty much what we eat (we do BLW). He is a high needs baby and can be very intense and demanding. Some days he's super clingy and fussy, some days not. He is a very active little guy, that's for sure!

I am convinced, however, that he would not have been a STTNer had he been in his own sleep space. As I said, we have shared a bed every night of his life. I feel intuitively that this gives him the security to let go into a good sleep.

[Laurski]

I haven't read all the replies, but I thought I'd answer b/c 1.5 months ago I never, ever thought I'd be able to join such a thread!  DD was an absolutely miserable sleeper the 1st 6 months of her life.  She refused to sleep anywhere but on me or DH (starting day 1 in the hospital), never slept more than 2 hours (up anywhere from every 45min-2 hours), barely napped, and basically had me at the end of my rope.  I actually did join the sleep boot camp thread, but was too depressed about how horribly DD was sleeping and how much I was hating life b/c I was tired to ever post.

Now, DD (who is 7.5 months old) sleeps anywhere from 6-8.5 hours at night, with anywhere from 1 to 4ish brief wakings (literally, a squawk or two) that DH handles by rocking her briefly (she sleeps in her car seat, however, so rocking her means just rocking the car seat).

(I'm actually kind of terrified to post about this, for fear I'm going to jinx myself...)

So, how did we get here?  I'll answer the questions you posted earlier and see if that helps explain how we got to where we are now.

If your LO STTN, what kind of naps do they take? Cat naps? Long naps?

Both.  She's still an inconsistent and generally crappy napper.  On a great day she'll nap 45min-1hour in the AM, 1-2 hours in the afternoon, and 30-45 min in the early evening.  A great day like this happens maybe every few weeks.  Some days she takes one really long early afternoon nap.  I work part-time on a crazy, inconsistent schedule, though, so that probably contributes to her all-over-the-place naps.

Do they have an early bedtime, late bedtime?

My guess is that her bedtime would probably be considered late.  We get the process started with her dinner, at 6:45, then either walk the dog or walk down to meet DH at the train (or both at the same time).  Then, when we get back, DH does the rest of the bedtime process: she has her bath (just water--we only do soap once a week, when we both bath her in her tub), baby massage, and a story or two while DH puts on her diaper, her onesie, and her Woombie.  Then he wraps her in a blanket (if it's not too warm) and brings her out to me in the living room, where I nurse her in the chair until she falls asleep.  Then DH takes her and transfers her to the car seat and turns on the white noise.  Then we tip toe around for the rest of the night.

Breastfed, bottle fed? Do you feed them at night or soothe them other ways? Do they use binkies or loveys or blankeys?

Breastfed.  I tried to do the Pantley pull-off to get DD away from falling asleep at the breast, but I failed.  Now she nurses until she falls asleep, sometimes still nurses while asleep, then drops off herself.

She does have a pacifier (one of those Wubanubs), and DH will use that to soothe her if she wakes up in the transfer process between my lap and the car seat, but he takes it out of her mouth after she's back asleep.  We found that she woke up more if she had the pacifier in her mouth.

Are they co-sleepers or crib sleepers?

Part-time co-sleepers; when DD wakes up between 3:30 (on a bad night) and 5 (on a great night), she comes into bed with me for the next 1+ to nurse and sleep.

The rest of the time she sleeps in her car seat.  She refuses to sleep in the attached co-sleeper or the pack n' play.  We only have a 1 bedroom apartment, so no space for a full crib.

We found that co-sleeping all night just didn't work for us; DD is a very light sleeper, so any movement I made woke her up and she immediately reattached to the boob (if she wasn't already attached).  I noticed she didn't sleep as well when she nursed the whole time she was asleep; even now, she'll sometimes nap on me and nurse, and she's usually not as well-rested afterward.

Do they sleep with a night light or music?

We had night lights until they all broke...but we'll get more soon.

She also sleeps with white noise--it's a loop of my hairdryer I recorded and put on my iPod.

What's your LO eating?

We just started solids about 1.5 months ago, so not too many different things yet.  We decided to do purees rather than BLW, and she loves it.

It might be coincidence, but she started STTN about 3 days after we made 2 changes: we moved her into the car seat and we started her on solids.  For dinner she gets 1/2 an avocado and about 2oz of sweet potatoes mixed in.  I'm convinced that the combo of fats and carbs has helped her immensely.  So much so that she pretty much gets the same dinner every  night, b/c I'm terrified to mess up what works!

How did your LO who STTN fare through the rough times (4 mos, 6 mos, 9 mos)?

She wasn't STTN at 4 months, so no regression there.

At 6 months was when she started STTN.  We had a spell of about a week or so around 6.5 months where she woke up between 2:30 - 3:30 and wouldn't nurse back to sleep, so I held her and rocked her for a while, then nursed her in the chair, where she and I fell asleep for a few hours.  Then she went back to her usual sleep routine.

We haven't hit the 9 month mark yet, so we'll see how that goes!

Is your LO really active during the day? Really relaxed during the day?

She's quite active (or as much as a non-crawler, non-walker can be!)  She goes to daycare for half days 4 days a week, where they do lots of activities, and she's always needs to be engaged in things during the day.  She's also a high-needs baby, so I think that helps explain her intensity and need for activity.

Do you wear your LO a lot during the day?

I'd have to say yes, although a lot of that is just carrying her.  Since day 1 she's been a super-clingy, high-needs baby, so I've carried her and/or worn her a lot (and have the elbow pain to show for it, unfortunately...)

What do YOU think helps them sleep so well? Is it just their temperament? Did they learn to sleep well over time?

Patience and pure dumb luck.  It's definitely not her temperament--she's an intense, high-needs baby who doesn't tend to sleep very deeply.  She also has reflux, which I think has really worked against her sleeping (and I think is why she generally doesn't like to sleep on her back, unless she's next to me in bed.  I also think it's why when she was next to me in bed, she nursed constantly--I think it helped soothe any acid pain she was feeling.). 

I think three things helped her:

1. Her avocado and sweet potato dinner.  It filled her up, helped her reflux, and had lots of good fats to keep her feeling content.  (I know some folks say solids=better sleep is an old wives' tale, and it may be, but it worked for my girl!)

2. The car seat.  Not only do I think the angle helps her reflux, but I think she feels really cozy and snuggled in.  She's a snuggler and a cuddler, so she needs that contact around her.  There was a post not long ago about creating a "nest" for baby in the crib, and I remember hoping someone had good suggestions for creating a safe one, b/c that's what DD needs.

3. DH. He is in charge of her night-time sleep (and, at first, naps that didn't involve DD sleeping on me).  He puts her in the car seat, and he sleeps with her out in the living room, on the couch, so he can be the one to rock/shush her to back to sleep when she squawks at night.  This, I think, was key in the beginning of our sleep adventures, when Mama = milk.  Now I can put her down for a nap (also in her car seat), and can rock/shush her back to sleep as well.

Sorry for the novel; I'm just so amazed that I'm getting any sort of sleep at night now, and am happy to share what we've done if any of it will help you.

(Now off to cross my fingers, toes, and any other body part that I didn't just completely jinx our little sleep set-up!)

[BaileyB]

Originally Posted by expat-mama 

I'm tired of commiserating with other mamas whose LOs don't sleep either! It's great to have the support but sometimes I think I'm looking for advice in the wrong place.

I want to hear from mamas who somehow, some way got their LOs to STTN. Even if they ALWAYS STTN or if they suddenly made the change without you doing anything, I want to hear from you!

If your LO STTN, what kind of naps do they take? Cat naps? Long naps? Cat naps, around 30 minutes

Do they have an early bedtime, late bedtime? Between 7 and 9

Breastfed, bottle fed? Do you feed them at night or soothe them other ways? Do they use binkies or loveys or blankeys? Breastfed on demand, she soothes herself with a binky and wont nurse to sleep.

Are they co-sleepers or crib sleepers? Crib sleeper

Do they sleep with a night light or music? Nature sounds toy that shuts off after 5 minutes but she has to listen to it about 3 times and a toy that shines stars on her ceiling that shuts off after 30 minutes.

What's your LO eating? bf only

How did your LO who STTN fare through the rough times (4 mos, 6 mos, 9 mos)? Babe is only 10 weeks

Is your LO really active during the day? Really relaxed during the day? ACTIVE!!

Do you wear your LO a lot during the day? Never

What do YOU think helps them sleep so well? Is it just their temperament? Did they learn to sleep well over time?

Gimme all the dirt, I want it ALL! I'm on a quest to find the secret.

My Lo is almost 10 weeks and has STTN (6 hours, nurse, and then another 3 hours) since she was about 4ish weeks. I can't take credit for any of it. She takes 30 minute cat naps during the day, maybe 4 in a day. They are totally on her own schedule. Her pattern is eat, play, nap, play, eat, nap, etc. She's pretty active. When she is awake her arms and legs are always going even though she is mostly laying on her blanket on the floor or sitting in her bouncy seat. I never wear her, I tried but she didn't like it that well. She is BF only, eats on demand.

Her bedtime is sometime between 7 and 9. She is one of those babies that sleeps anywhere so like I said I really can't take any credit for it, I think its just her.

Twice her and I fell asleep and took an afternoon nap for 3 hours and both those nights she was up every 2-3 hours to eat instead of sleeping through the night.

[jneff143]

My 3 month old has been sleeping from about 8:30 pm until about 4 am and I consider myself blessed. I don’t know if you consider this sttn or not... He's very active and alert when awake. He's Breastfed. I just nurse him when he gets sleepy and once he falls asleep I put him in the bassinet beside our bed (belly down). He doesn't sleep well at all on his back. He startles himself awake after a couple minutes if I put him on his.back.

[Jenni1894]

My baby is 1...so I guess she's not so much a baby anymore.

I can't remember much about DS (what can I say I worked FT!)....but both my DD's STTN since 4-6 months.   I co-slept with all, till about 5-6 mos when I moved them to the crib.  With ODD she was with us till about 9 mos.  I had a small 2 br townhouse and they shared a room.  I kept her with as long as possible b/c I didn't want to disturb DS.  Who is (still not) the best sleeper.   Once they started rolling I put them in the bassinet and then the pack and play.  

but to answer your questions.....

If your LO STTN, what kind of naps do they take? Cat naps? Long naps?

ydd (she is 1), wakes with the others about 7 am, she naps 2 hours after she gets up.   For about an 1-1 1/2 hrs.  She then naps at 2 or 3 for another 1 1/2-2 hours.  If she misses her am nap, you can count on a good 3 hr nap.

Do they have an early bedtime, late bedtime?

I think it's kinda early.  Both DD's go to bed about 730, after books, songs and kisses they are asleep by 8 ish. 

Breastfed, bottle fed? Do you feed them at night or soothe them other ways? Do they use binkies or loveys or blankeys?

I BF all 3 DC's.   If they cried at night I would let them fuss a few mins, not CIO, but you can tell the difference betweeen a fuss and a cry!!  If they were crying, I'd check the diaper...then soothe.  Last resort...my bed for nursing.  Only ODD took a binkie and that was only till about 9 mos.  Both girls do have loveys.  And at 3 ODD will not go to sleep with out her "la la" (a musical glow worm)

Are they co-sleepers or crib sleepers?

Co sleepers till about 4-5 mos. 

Do they sleep with a night light or music?

night light and we have recently put a radio in the girls room (ages 3 and 1).  IMO it cuts out the other noises. 

What's your LO eating?

I started all 3 on rice about 4 mos.   When I had DS, they didn't say anything about the 6 mo for solids thing.   I gave them rice at dinner.   Then about 5-6 mos homemade baby food.  I think that keeps them fuller so they STTN.  YDD eats what we now.  And has since about 9 mos.  I don't puree...I just cut it up small and make sure its soft enough. 

How did your LO who STTN fare through the rough times (4 mos, 6 mos, 9 mos)?

Sometimes with DH and me.  Sometimes we slept on the couch...sometimes we didn't sleep at all, but it's all a stage, thankfully!!

Is your LO really active during the day? Really relaxed during the day?

I think they were pretty active.  They have always had free reign of the house.   Exploring and playing (IMO) burns up that energy. 

Do you wear your LO a lot during the day?

I wore DS a lot, not so much ODD, but YDD I wear often.   ODD is not a cuddler, but the other 2 are.  I don't wear them while I'm cooking...etc.   But if we are out walking or outside.  

What do YOU think helps them sleep so well? Is it just their temperament? Did they learn to sleep well over time?

IMO I think a good sleeper is a rested kid.  You know the whole over tired over stimulated thing.   I read a book where you "train" the kid to sleep.  not my CIO, but by putting them down at the same time every day.   I did this w/2 kids and had great success.   Both of my good sleeper girls will start to go upstairs when they are tired.  Or when it's time for bed.  I think temperment has some to do with it...but DS and YDD have the same easy going temperment.   But DS ALWAYS had someone next to him while sleeping.   From Birth til he was about 3 when I finally got him out of our bed!!!   At almost 7 he still comes in our bed about 2x a month.   He still requests cuddles from me before sleeping.   And he still gets up in the middle of the night to pee or he wanders!.  and he still wakes up at the crack of dawn!!

[Sfcmama]

So... In case I missed it, is anyone SSTN and BFing AND co-sleeping?

[Knitting Mama]

Originally Posted by Sfcmama 

So... In case I missed it, is anyone SSTN and BFing AND co-sleeping?

Yup.

Now, our breastfeeding is with an SNS, but at the breast is the only way she gets milk.

[Bird Girl]

Both of my children slept through the night, were exclusively breastfed, and co-slept in our room, but not in our bed. Is that helpful?

In my children's cases, the key steps were to have an early morning nap, sleep swaddled, sleep in the dark with blackout curtains drawn, and an early bedtime. If we messed with any of that, they could not get to sleep and were miserable.

I will second the recommendation for Marc Weisbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. He is a sleep researcher and a pediatrician, so he writes a lot about how sleep develops, what normal patterns of sleep are at each age, and how children can get off track. He does have some advice about sleep training (mainly for older toddlers/children who are experiencing ADHD-like symptoms from sleep deprivation) but there is so much good information in the book that has nothing to do with crying it out.

[expat-mama]

Thanks for all these responses! I really appreciate all the time you mamas took to respond. It's really interesting to see the different answers to all my questions.

I'm not sure my quest will be too fruitful... It might just come down to you mamas with LOs who STTN being LUCKY. And us poor saps being incredibly unlucky.

As far as I can tell, I'm doing everything "right" and we've tried pretty much all the other "right" things over the months to no avail. The only thing I haven't tried are the things that we have deemed "not right" for our son and for us- CIO, bottle feeding, putting him in another room, and breast feeding on a schedule etc. Wouldn't it be freaking crazy if THOSE things worked for him? They seem to work for some other people (I'm not referring to you mamas). I'm questioning all sorts of things right now...just at the end of my rope I guess. Another bad night last night and I'm unravelled today.

Anyway...thanks again mamas!

[P.J.]

Originally Posted by expat-mama 

Thanks for all these responses! I really appreciate all the time you mamas took to respond. It's really interesting to see the different answers to all my questions.

I'm not sure my quest will be too fruitful... It might just come down to you mamas with LOs who STTN being LUCKY. And us poor saps being incredibly unlucky.

As far as I can tell, I'm doing everything "right" and we've tried pretty much all the other "right" things over the months to no avail. The only thing I haven't tried are the things that we have deemed "not right" for our son and for us- CIO, bottle feeding, putting him in another room, and breast feeding on a schedule etc. Wouldn't it be freaking crazy if THOSE things worked for him? They seem to work for some other people (I'm not referring to you mamas). I'm questioning all sorts of things right now...just at the end of my rope I guess. Another bad night last night and I'm unravelled today.

Anyway...thanks again mamas!

To the first part of your post (in bold): I forgot to mention, I know we got lucky with Max being a great night sleeper. However, we got "unlucky" in other areas. Firstly, he had colic and screamed inconsolably a LOT in the first 3.5 months of his life. The fact that he then STTN was what saved us. We were all miserable, but at least we were pretty well-rested! And now, he is a high needs baby, very intense and demanding. I see friends with easy-going, mellow babies and sometimes I get jealous. However, I then listen to them complaining about how they got not sleep last night and I remember: you win some, you lose some (if that metaphor fits). Lucky in one area, unlucky in another.

As for your situation, I see your LO will be one in a couple months. Ya know, from one year of age, night weaning is an option. Many people are against it, but to be honest if my baby was a terrible sleeper, I would certainly be considering it (after one year). Here are a couple links you might find useful:

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning-night.html

I know some parents find their baby is able to STTN once they've night weaned. It is not a fun process (and if you read those links you'll see it will probably involve some crying, but you stay with the baby, it is not CIO!), but if you are exhausted and feel everyone would do better with a good night's sleep, then maybe you can consider night weaning in a few months after your baby turns one.

[LittleBirdy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by P.J. 

To the first part of your post (in bold): I forgot to mention, I know we got lucky with Max being a great night sleeper. However, we got "unlucky" in other areas. Firstly, he had colic and screamed inconsolably a LOT in the first 3.5 months of his life. The fact that he then STTN was what saved us. We were all miserable, but at least we were pretty well-rested! And now, he is a high needs baby, very intense and demanding. I see friends with easy-going, mellow babies and sometimes I get jealous. However, I then listen to them complaining about how they got not sleep last night and I remember: you win some, you lose some (if that metaphor fits). Lucky in one area, unlucky in another.

As for your situation, I see your LO will be one in a couple months. Ya know, from one year of age, night weaning is an option. Many people are against it, but to be honest if my baby was a terrible sleeper, I would certainly be considering it (after one year). Here are a couple links you might find useful:

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning-night.html

I know some parents find their baby is able to STTN once they've night weaned. It is not a fun process (and if you read those links you'll see it will probably involve some crying, but you stay with the baby, it is not CIO!), but if you are exhausted and feel everyone would do better with a good night's sleep, then maybe you can consider night weaning in a few months after your baby turns one.

P.J. I was just thinking about this the other day (the part I bolded).  All my friends IRL who had summer babies have babies who STTN.  Some BF, some not.  Some did CIO, some didn't.  No cosleepers as far as I know.  Mine sleeps like crap....... but I weigh 10 pounds less than I did when I got pregnant, and they are still carrying around baby weight!  Not that one has ANYTHING to do with the other, but it is like my little consolation prize for having a difficult sleeper.  (For the record, I have always struggled with my weight so this is a huge surprise to me!)

And I also agree that nightweaning might be the answer.  If the sleep is still this bad once we hit a year we might try it.

[Knitting Mama]

Originally Posted by expat-mama 

Thanks for all these responses! I really appreciate all the time you mamas took to respond. It's really interesting to see the different answers to all my questions.

I'm not sure my quest will be too fruitful... It might just come down to you mamas with LOs who STTN being LUCKY. And us poor saps being incredibly unlucky.

As far as I can tell, I'm doing everything "right" and we've tried pretty much all the other "right" things over the months to no avail. The only thing I haven't tried are the things that we have deemed "not right" for our son and for us- CIO, bottle feeding, putting him in another room, and breast feeding on a schedule etc. Wouldn't it be freaking crazy if THOSE things worked for him? They seem to work for some other people (I'm not referring to you mamas). I'm questioning all sorts of things right now...just at the end of my rope I guess. Another bad night last night and I'm unravelled today.

Anyway...thanks again mamas!

Regarding the bolded part-- I probably should add that, while I never set out to regiment her breastfeeding, I did "consolidate" some of her night nursing. It wasn't done consciously, though, it was a "natural progression" thing. Here's what happened: I've had a low supply from the start, thanks to breast surgery. For the first 5 or 6 months, she was content bare nursing at night and would get her donated milk in the SNS in the morning. Around that time, bare nursing stopped being enough, so I was getting up fully and supplementing her. Because I was actually up, I could make sure she was staying latched on and getting a full feeding, like 5 or 6 oz of milk. And amazingly, she started sleeping longer stretches because of it. Soon enough, we were down to only one "wake up and nurse" a night, I know of other people who have consolidated nursings more purposely with the same success. I don't know if you would consider it scheduling nursing or not, but you might want to try getting up fully at night (as much as that sucks) to ensure he drinks a lot, and see if that helps.

[Laurski]

I just *knew* I was going to jinx myself by writing on this thread!

DD was up at 3:30 this morning, and refused to go back to sleep until about 5:30.  And those were 2 *very* cranky hours...

The sleep gods must be angry at me for daring to speak of STTN in anything other than hushed, reverential tones. 

[ar2974]

Originally Posted by Sfcmama 

So... In case I missed it, is anyone SSTN and BFing AND co-sleeping?

Yes - scroll up for my post.  My older daughter used to sstn (she might have nursed once and not really woken me) from about 6 weeks or so also.  My kids are just mellow.
 

[Sorin]

My DD will be one on Saturday (!) but she has slept through the night since . . . 8-9 months?  In her case, STTN means from about 7pm until about 7am.  From about 6-8 months, she was waking once a night, and from about 4-6 months, she was waking twice.  Prior to that, it was too many times to count! 

She sleeps in our room but not in our bed, hated to be worn, is a halfway decent napper (at least one good nap a day of about 2 hours), and was breastfed until about 10 1/2 months when she started hitting me, pushing away, and biting me while nursing.

My DD has always naturally been a good sleeper, which is great because she is . . . um . . . challenging in other areas.  My kid could win a screaming contest.  Seriously.  There were a few things that I did do to facilitate good sleeping habits.  There does come a time when a baby is physically capable of not needing to eat in the middle of the night.  You have to determine when that point is for your baby, but for mine, it did fall around the age that most of the books recommend (about 6 months or so).  This was around the time that she was moving to one wake up, and I was nursing her before putting her back to sleep.  Once the one wake up became a solid pattern, DH started taking night duty.  He would change her and then put her back in her crib with her pacifier (she never rejected the paci and uses it when she sleeps).  From almost the beginning, she did go right back to sleep.  Sometimes, he would have to soothe her back to sleep, but we did not feed her.  During the day, she ate to her heart's content (and my kid can *eat*).  Around that time, she was eating 2-3 meals of solid food a day (things like peas, carrots, bananas, applesauce, squash, etc.) and nursing on demand.  I really do believe that night weaning for us was the key to beginning the full STTN process. 

The other thing that helped her to STTN was a little paci strategy my DH came up with.  For a while she continued to wake once a night, but if we gave her the paci, she would go back to sleep.  One day, she was lying on the bed next to me playing and sucking on her paci.  She accidentally spit it out, and it fell on the bed by her ear.  I watched her take her hand, bring it up to her head to feel around for the paci, find it, and stick it back into her own mouth.  Voila!  The paci strategy was then born.  When DD goes to bed, we put like seven pacis in the bed with her. So when she wakes up (and occasionally, I do hear her wake up once in the middle of the night), she feels around for her paci, pops it back in her mouth and goes back to sleep.  She's been doing this since about 8 months or so. 

I know that we are lucky on the sleeping front, but I thank my lucky stars for this because we did not get lucky with a few other personality quirks (did I mention that she's a screamer?)  We did, however, use a few strategies to make sure that she slept well.  I hope they help!

[ciga]

Originally Posted by P.J. 

To the first part of your post (in bold): I forgot to mention, I know we got lucky with Max being a great night sleeper. However, we got "unlucky" in other areas. Firstly, he had colic and screamed inconsolably a LOT in the first 3.5 months of his life. The fact that he then STTN was what saved us. We were all miserable, but at least we were pretty well-rested! And now, he is a high needs baby, very intense and demanding. I see friends with easy-going, mellow babies and sometimes I get jealous. However, I then listen to them complaining about how they got not sleep last night and I remember: you win some, you lose some (if that metaphor fits). Lucky in one area, unlucky in another.

As for your situation, I see your LO will be one in a couple months. Ya know, from one year of age, night weaning is an option. Many people are against it, but to be honest if my baby was a terrible sleeper, I would certainly be considering it (after one year). Here are a couple links you might find useful:

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning-night.html

I know some parents find their baby is able to STTN once they've night weaned. It is not a fun process (and if you read those links you'll see it will probably involve some crying, but you stay with the baby, it is not CIO!), but if you are exhausted and feel everyone would do better with a good night's sleep, then maybe you can consider night weaning in a few months after your baby turns one.

Okay, I can't say that we're STTN yet but I do feel like things are getting better.  Slowly.  My son has been a terrible sleeper from the get go.   From ~2-4 months we went through a period where he only woke twice a night (i thought that was a lot at the time) and then the s@$t hit the fan and from 4-12 months he was a 4-5+ times a night-nurser sometimes with lots of crying and flailing. I felt like I was going to loose my mind.

We bedshare, BF, and he eats tons of solids and I decided that as a gift to myself for his 1st birthday I had to try everything possible to get more sleep which for me ended up meaning nightweaning.  We don't even have the option of moving DS to another room so I appreciated that Gordon is speaking to bedsharing parents who intend to continue bedsharing beyond nightweaning.   I started off with Pantley's book and to be honest it just wasn't working for us so I did more research and found Dr. Jay Gordon's site.  I feel like his method is really working. DS is still waking but its getting easier and easier to soothe him back to sleep with just a hand or a shhhhhh and I feel like he's waking less. It definitely isn't going as quickly as the directions kind of imply it will but hey, anything is better than complete sleep deprivation.  It also just makes me feel like I can be proactive about the situation without doing anything I feel is cruel.