help with transitioning...

[lilyblossom]

I have a 3yo dd who is a very light sleeper.  When she turned 2 we knew we'd be TTC and started the transition to her own bed with the thought that we didn't want her to resent a sibling for keeping her up all night and/or forcing her to be in a different bed/room.   Initially we set up a twin bed next to ours and either DH or I would help her fall asleep there.  She loved having her own space and knew we were close by.  She'd often climb into bed with us and we always were fine with it.  I became pregnant about 6 months later and her thrashing started becoming an issue - bumping my tender breasts and slamming her feet into my belly.  From that point, DH started to sleep with her in the twin bed next to ours, separated by about 3 feet, when she woke up in the night.  It didn't take long until she was mostly sleeping through the night - maybe waking only once.  

A few months later, we set up a bigger bed in her own room (right next to ours) and she started to fall asleep with DH every night in her own bed.  When she would wake, he'd go in there and snuggle up and fall asleep and usually spend the night with her.  

With a new baby due in the next 4-8 weeks, DH has started to try sleeping in bed with me - in anticipation of helping with night time parenting when the baby is born.  However, DD wakes now 3-4 times a night.  When DH gets her back to sleep, she wakes again within an hour or two.  

We feel strongly about creating positive sleep associations but also know the reality we are about to face and want a solution that works for EVERYONE.  Maybe I'm too idealistic but I think there has got to be a way to get everyone what they need.  

We are NOT into CIO or any other harsh sleep "training" methods.  Any suggestions are welcome! 

[nd01]

I haven't been there but have been contemplating these kind of issues for our own life.  I have two thoughts that might help - one is that maybe she's stirring and expecting DH to be there because he was when she feel asleep and now he's not.  I know a lot of the books say that children like to wake in the same conditions they fell asleep in (I guess the same for us, if my husband was next to me when I feel asleep and I woke at 2 and he wasn't there, I'd fully wake up to look for him).  So maybe he can sit in her room but not snuggle right next to her to get her used to a bit of physical distance at night.  My other thought would be to let her sleep in your room again

but keep up the bed in her room.  I wonder if she'll realize it is no fun sleeping in the same room as the crying baby and move out on her own...  Hopefully other mommas have good advice (who have actually been through it!) Also- I am having problems going back to edit mid-paragraph but I meant that she should sleep on her own bed in your room like how it was working before you moved her to her room.

[lilyblossom]

Thanks for the thoughts!  We may have figured things out!  When she takes a nap, she's up several times a night.  When she doesn't nap, she wakes only once (if at all).  It may actually be a nap transition rather than a nighttime sleep issue after all :)  Our fall back position is to put the bed back in our room for sure - but to avoid any sibling resentments I'm going to roll with this for now and hope for the best <3