sex and other fun things?

[ashleybrook]

ok mamas i'm wondering how/when you fit in sex and other fun things...especially for you moms doing in-arms, au natural (no paci, no swing, no bottle, etc.)...or for those who have a child like mine...

phoenix wakes up the moment i put him down. even in his sleep we sleep tummy to tummy (side lying) and the minute i get up, either i have to replace my body with my dh's or know that phoenix will be up in a few minutes.

now, in general i'm quite happy, i know this is natural behavior...he's only 6 weeks. but how are we to dtd? or how am i to get any bodywork done? i feel like a massage would be heaven...but i barely have 10 minutes...and that's only if dh has him in arms. i can't imagine how long it will be to have an hour free. he doesn't even like to lay on his back or tummy for longer than a minute or two.

do we forgo sex and massage for the next year? how long will it go on like this in your opinions? what do you do...since i've obviously chosen not to bottle feed or have swings, etc. do you just know this to shall pass or do you have ideas?

tia

ashley

[kitkat5505]

Sorry, I have no idea. We do have swings/bouncers for the babies. There's no way I could be holding them both all day and take care of the other kids. So mine are used to being put down. So we either do sex in the shower or after putting the babies to bed (in crib side-carred to the bed). My only problem is having the desire and energy lol. And if I need me time to workout or take a bath I either have to wait for DH to get home or do it during their longer nap in the early afternoon.

[echospiritwarrior]

We don't do bottles/paci's swings bouncers etc. either but I do go to my knitting group once a week (I'll be gone 3-4 hours) it's very hands on for hubby, but mostly our little boy is just fine since hubby just wears him the whole time I'm gone

[ashleybrook]

echospiritwarrior-- that's really encouraging! maybe i can move that massage up! my dh is good with ds, but it seems that ds is eating all the time! :) i'd hate to have my dh with a hungry/irritated ds.maybe in the morning stretch where there seems to be a longer nap.

[trekkingirl]

my dd was nursing a lot too at six weeks. everyone told me that was normal and it would slow down. They were right. The feedings are a lot less frequent now.

as far as advice, I don't have much. DD stays asleep when I get up from laying with her. She doesn't take a paci but is usually content to chill for a while and check out the scenery. As time goes by and you and baby get a rythem things will fall into place.

good luck!

[aidenn]

I don't use a paci but I do have a swing.  We don't turn the swing on, but we use it to keep her side-lying during naps.  I know you are against swings as a substitute parent, but you may want to consider a secondhand one to keep Phoenix on his side with a feeling that something is up next to him.

[bluebirdmama]

echo - do you leave expressed breastmilk when you're gone for 3-4 hours? I get nervous if I'm out longer than an hour.

ashley - I wish I had some suggestions for you. All three of my kids would tolerate being put down at least here and there. Sometimes it felt like I had to hold them all the time, but the reality is that they did spend quite a bit of time sleeping in a bouncy chair or basket too. Maybe Phoenix would sleep with a hot water bottle against his back with him on his side so that you can get a minute here or there for a shower or to DTD. As for the massage, I second echo in saying that if DH would wear him in a sling you could probably get away for an hour or two.

[Ellenems]

Are you comfortable letting him sleep on his tummy? Many babies sleep much better this way since it prevents them from startling. Mazie usually sleeps on her side, but I'd feel fine with her on her tummy if I'm awake in the same room. She rarely ever nurses to sleep because once she's full, she gets really irritated if milk continues to flow. So after she nurses, I usually end up laying in bed next to her and letting her suck on my pinky until she's deep enough in sleep for me to remove it. Alternately, I wear her to sleep (also sucking on my pinky) in a pouch-style sling and then lay her down on her side while still in the pouch. I take her out of the pouch before I fall asleep for the night, at which point she wakes to nurse. With either of these methods, I still only get about 15-30 minutes before she wakes up and realizes I'm not right next to her. I wear her for all of her naps because I know she won't stay asleep long if I try to put her in the bed. 

At this point I can't imagine leaving her, even though she's fine for awhile without nursing. My husband took her downstairs for an hour so I could sleep in one morning, and he kept her happy the whole time with moving around, bouncing on a yoga ball, and lots of pinky sucking. I've also been able to lay her on the floor while I shower with the bathroom fan on for white noise and my daughter to keep her company. 

If I remember correctly, my older daughter never slept without me for more than 30 minutes until she was past 1, but my son would nap for 2 hours alone by around 3 months. I'm hoping Mazie will be more like him!

[ashleybrook]

nak...thanks mamas 4 input! for now i'm just going to keep going for tummy time and back time, even if it's brief...i'm also handing him to dh more to get a break and hopefully build up so i can go get a massage sometime!!! one nite since i posted he slept an hour without me right next to him...i guess it gave me hope that this won't last forever!

thanks again!