Dwelling on anger

[bcblondie]

I'm deep in a serious argument with 2 of my friends. It's rediculous really, they're mad at me for somethign I did, but they admit said thing wasn't wrong, and that they understand why I did it.Yet they keep harping on how I should have done it differently. And talk of how they've lost friends over fights. Well I'm not the type to give up easily on a friend so I really want this fixed. But it's making me so mad the way they're still acting like I owe them something, and that the friendship will take time to heal. I'm not gonna grovel.

Anyways! I'm really angry about how the whole thing is going down.  And it's affecting my moods pretty bad. And my patience with DS. I'm trying really hard to put it out of my mind, try not to take it out on DS because that's unhealthy and unfair. But I think I need some advice how to get past this until this argument has closure one way or another. Any wisdom you can offer? I'm Christian as well so religious advice is welcome...

[kayleesmom]

did things get resolved? sending along hugs.

[bcblondie]

No. Nothing was resolved. They were treating me rudely at church too. Like I was babysitting and they dropped their kid off without telling me a thing about his needs... They stick their nose up at me. Also his mother made a rude comment about my babysitting ability (we were swamped!) I left her a stern (but not rude) voicemail about it, and I texted the couple that they can either be polite or find their own sunday babysitter. The next 2 sundays they were polite! But I don't think anything's fixed... But at least they're civil. I can live with that.

[Imakcerka]

Can you let this friendship go? Would you be willing to do so? At this point what you said no longer matters whether it needed to be said or not. How they have reacted to you afterwards speaks volumes of their character and should make you wonder if all this is really a good thing.

You can tell them that you have apologized and there is nothing more you can do for them over the matter. And if they think there is they should just tell you what they want. By the way sounds like they're being rather childish

When I went to church and taught Sunday school... back in the day, I had a falling out with one of the Moms because I told her to stop sending her 5 year old in dresses that were too short for her or at least put shorts on underneath. She took offense, got mad and talked poorly about me to everyone. We had been in prayer group together and she made that so uncomfortable for me. I took the opportunity during open prayer to pray for her inability to forgive. I realize that was wrong to use that situation for that, however she took my place of worship and made it as uncomfortable as she could. I know two wrongs do not make a right. It did stop it all though. That's all I wanted.

[bcblondie]

Lol. Not gonna lie, I laughed at your praying for her. I mean, did you mention her name too? That's gutsy. :)

I'm glad you put your foot down though, as did I. It sounds like it helped us both. I am willing to let this friendship go. I've told them that, that I've apologized, what more do they want? They say they don't HAVE to be friends with me. But literally, the guy in this situation, he sexually abused me a few years back and I forgave him for that. He can't forgive me for this? (Which wasn't even WRONG let alone illegal. I could have had him arrested and charged.) I don't understand WHAT they're presuming to hold against me. Pittance compared to the crap I'VE put up with and gotten past.

I guess that's what bothers me. I've jumped through hoops to save this relationship in the past. They write it off over this? Time is helping me move on but when I think about it it does upset me. Even if I no longer desire actual friendship. I guess I'm mouring the friend he USED to be. My how things change, you know?