Montessori or homeschool?

[leighi123]

I have 2 choices for my son for next year (he turns 4 this summer)

1. Homeschool him - join the local homeschool group which is great, but it would be unreliable as far as giving ds regular interaction with other kids, something I feel he needs (he is around adults 24/7 right now)

2. Put him in Montessori, 5 days a week, from 11:15-2:30 every day.  Its FREE (which is nice), its a really nice program, they spend over an hour in an outdoor environment every day, small mixed age class, (3-6yr olds), diverse kids, nice teachers, the school is really nice looking with lots of great learning materials.   I could also volunteer at the school.  

I LOVE the Montessori concept, and did it myself as a child,  I know he would really enjoy it and I do like the teachers.    We are currently homeschooling, and doing a lot of it Montessori style (though not everything)

The issues:

- I'd have to drop off, pick up, and pack lunch every day.   I share a car so this could be a pain.  

-They eat lunch right when they get there, which I think is silly, he may as well eat at home!   He has lots of food allergies so would have to eat seperate from the other kids anyway.  He also doesn't normally eat at that time, so I'd have to adjust him (challenge with his allergies)

- He is also allergic to things like cleaning supplies, carpets, paint on the wall, play doh, food colorings.... lots of things that in a school environment might not be avoidable.  

- He might have to drop out of gymnastics to accomidate the schedual, which he loves so that would stink!   The timing means he could still go to his science class, but story time we would have to skip or leave early to get to school on time, or go to school late on those days (which would only be cutting into lunch time anyway)

- he basically wouldnt be able to do any playdates with our local natural mom's group, the timing of the school is right in the middle of when most playdates happen (usually start at 10:30ish and go for 2-3 hours, and are 10-30min away from us)

- we like to travel, and I'd have to pull him from school to do this

- we don't vax so I have to lie and claim "religious" for exemptions and deal with all that paperwork, going to the heath dept, etc.  

- I REALLY want to homeschool him!  My family thinks he should go to school because its great and its free.  Next year, I cant affford Montessori (its not free for 5yr olds), so I'd have to pull him out to homeschool or put him in public school.   So either way this would only be for a year.   Next year I dont know if homeschooling will be an option, sense I am a single mom and we live with my parents who may be moving overseas soon, so I dont know what our future will be (if I knew for sure I could homeschool him for KG, that would make me go for this years Montessori more, but I dont know yet!)

- he is super super smart, gifted for sure, so I guess Montessori could be really good or really bad for gifted kids from what I've read. 

- I'm going to school working on my teaching degree, I dont know if I could coordinate my schedual with his, if not, then thats more time I'd be away from him sense my mom would have to watch him while Im in class (which is what we do now, I have class 2 evenings a week).   I work part time, and can bring ds with me sometimes but he doesnt like to go, so again more time with him away from me.   I already feel like he is away from me too much as it is! 

I only have until thursday to decide!   Help!!! 

[Bluegoat]

Well, I don't really think four year olds need "school" anyway, at home or elsewhere.  And that includes kids who are going to go to public school.  But it is not a lot of hours, which can be fun and a nie break for you, and for a four year old, if I had to do it, Montessori is a good choice I think.

But it seems like it would be a lot of hassle, and also possibly a lot of changes in his future which could stress him.  I wouldn't be suprised if you'd end up end up dropping your other activities, not just because of class time but because it would just be too much tiring activity.  And I think if I didn't intend to go on with the Montessori next year, I'd be disinclined to do it this year.

So for me, given all that, it wouldn't be worth it.

[heatherdeg]

Agreeing with BlueGoat.  Seriously?  That's a LOT of accommodating to do for any program.  Until I read all of the accommodating, I was actually thinking "Yeah!  Could be great!  Do the Montessori!" but man... 

And he's obviously not around adults ALL the time: you have gymnastics and play dates.  That's actually a little more than we had in the pre-k year and mine is okay (he's now 7yo and in the autism spectrum--which generally means you're considered negligent if not downright harmful to homeschool your child   ).

Also agreeing that no kid that age needs educating.  Mine is actually gifted and we don't do a lot.  Even now, at 7.  I'm a big fan of delayed academics so I just expose him to interesting, fun activities.  What he pulls from them is kind of insane.  This spring I put him in an enrichment class that was more classroom-y than he'd had and he's doing fine (probably because it's a very hands-on lifecycles class with life animals and cool experiments  :D  ).  Next year, we'll actually attempt education!

I'm also a former teacher (albeit a brief, second career--with extra grad credits in SpEd).  It is the reason I homeschool.  ;)

[leighi123]

Would it make a difference if the allergy issue is elminated?   I am talking with the school about allowing ds "late arrival" as a special needs circumstance.  He would arrive at 12, which is after lunch at the time when all the kids are heading to the outdoor classroom.   Ds would be in school for 2.5 hours (so less time away from me!).    

This would allow him time with other kids, but also allow plenty of time for me to homeschool him in addition.   

He does gymnastics, science, story time - those are all with other kids, BUT they arent time to just "play".   They are structured activites where the kids are listening to the instructor, and following directions and not really interacting with one-another in particular (more like working side by side or taking turns one at a time to do something).   So its not really the same as playing, problem solving, learning to share, having conversations with other kids, that kind of thing.    

Play dates are great, but very hard to get together, we get maybe 1-2 a month.   I feel like ds needs to play with other kids more often than that, at least a few times a week.   
 

As far as the acedemics, I agree that kids dont need formal "academics" (that wouldnt be my goal with putting him in a homeshool group or montessori, my point would be for him to learn the social aspect of things).   I strongly believe kids learn though play and by 'doing'.   For example, he has learned SO many things just by having his own little garden in the back yard to work with (he counts veggies, writes down plant names, tastes new foods, cooks them, digs, picks up tiny seeds, etc etc etc.

BUT he asks to learn things "mommy will you teach me to read now", or "lets learn about those Roman guys"  or "how come I have blood in my body" etc.  And he wants me to pull out a book and show him the letters, or explain why roman guys wore funny clothes, or show him a diagram of the blood vessels/heart, that kind of thing.   He has learned to read because he asked me to teach him and I've worked with him.   Its all child led, and only when he asks, the rest of his learning just comes naturally though play and every day life.   

Originally Posted by heatherdeg 

Agreeing with BlueGoat.  Seriously?  That's a LOT of accommodating to do for any program.  Until I read all of the accommodating, I was actually thinking "Yeah!  Could be great!  Do the Montessori!" but man... 

And he's obviously not around adults ALL the time: you have gymnastics and play dates.  That's actually a little more than we had in the pre-k year and mine is okay (he's now 7yo and in the autism spectrum--which generally means you're considered negligent if not downright harmful to homeschool your child   ).

Also agreeing that no kid that age needs educating.  Mine is actually gifted and we don't do a lot.  Even now, at 7.  I'm a big fan of delayed academics so I just expose him to interesting, fun activities.  What he pulls from them is kind of insane.  This spring I put him in an enrichment class that was more classroom-y than he'd had and he's doing fine (probably because it's a very hands-on lifecycles class with life animals and cool experiments  :D  ).  Next year, we'll actually attempt education!

I'm also a former teacher (albeit a brief, second career--with extra grad credits in SpEd).  It is the reason I homeschool.  ;)

[umsami]

My middle son did a year at our Montessori Magnet school when we lived in Florida. Honestly, it was a wonderful, nurturing place--and I only wish we could have stayed there. It was such a great experience for him--and he really meshed well with the Montessori philosophy. It seems to me like the school is willing to work with you, so I say... give it a chance. You can always withdraw him if it isn't going well.

Even though it was only a year.. I don't regret it.

[heatherdeg]

You're the only person that knows what's worth bending over for in your family.  For me, it sounds like a lot and while I adore Montessori (my own son did it and we're considering it next year PT for my almost 3yo), I wouldn't feel it's worth the accommodations to MY household that you are facing.  But that's me--not you.  That being said, you asked our opinion.  :)

And I don't feel the same way about having so much more child interaction.  You keep bringing it up, so it obviously strikes a nerve with you.  As a result, you're more likely to sacrifice for the Montessori than I would.  I also think that with some looking, you'd find more opportunities than 1-2 playdates/month.  Most homeschool groups have younger sibs hanging around.  There's your local HMN chapter, Y, meetup.com groups... the list goes on for opportunities to find other families to get together with.

Also, I don't think I understood your initial post because I thought you meant truly "teaching" academics (colors, shapes, etc.) in a more structured/parent-led way.  There are tons of Montessori resources for teaching those things at home; and those make the most sense at that age anyway.  My favorite is "Mommy, Teach Me To Do It Myself" by Maja Pitamic (I think I got the name right) and that one goes up higher in age for activities than most.  It's awesome.

I'm not trying to sell you on homeschooling.  Everyone does what works for them, and that differs by family and sometimes by child.  I'm just pitching out resources that you may not have seen/found that might make you feel more at ease with being at home.  :D

[umsami]

Originally Posted by heatherdeg 

You're the only person that knows what's worth bending over for in your family.  For me, it sounds like a lot and while I adore Montessori (my own son did it and we're considering it next year PT for my almost 3yo), I wouldn't feel it's worth the accommodations to MY household that you are facing.  But that's me--not you.  That being said, you asked our opinion.  :)

And I don't feel the same way about having so much more child interaction.  You keep bringing it up, so it obviously strikes a nerve with you.  As a result, you're more likely to sacrifice for the Montessori than I would.  I also think that with some looking, you'd find more opportunities than 1-2 playdates/month.  Most homeschool groups have younger sibs hanging around.  There's your local HMN chapter, Y, meetup.com groups... the list goes on for opportunities to find other families to get together with.

Also, I don't think I understood your initial post because I thought you meant truly "teaching" academics (colors, shapes, etc.) in a more structured/parent-led way.  There are tons of Montessori resources for teaching those things at home; and those make the most sense at that age anyway.  My favorite is "Mommy, Teach Me To Do It Myself" by Maja Pitamic (I think I got the name right) and that one goes up higher in age for activities than most.  It's awesome.

I'm not trying to sell you on homeschooling.  Everyone does what works for them, and that differs by family and sometimes by child.  I'm just pitching out resources that you may not have seen/found that might make you feel more at ease with being at home.  :D

I'd also recommend Elizabeth Hainstock's "Teaching Montessori in the Home: Pre-School Years." (As well as her book for older kids). She shows you how to make a ton of materials yourself.

[MommyBecky]

I am currently doing Montessori homschooling. For us, Montessori would not have been free and to buy the materials once was a better investment (we plan on using the materials for multiple children). If you decide to go this route, my main resources are http://www.infomontessori.com (the links across the top of the page "practical life" etc are what you click on). I buy my materials from http://www.montessorioutlet.com

I also recommend "Teaching Montessori in the Home" by Elizabeth G. Hainstock as a good basic starter book. She also has instructions for how to make some materials (this up to DH, I am not so inclined. I have also discovered sometimes it is cheaper/same price to buy something from Montessori outlet than make it myself)

Something we had considered doing was letting DD go to Montessori primary (3-6 yrs) and then homeschooling her after that. Obviously, we didn't do that but it might work for you if there are no elementary programs in your area (he will have needs for collaborative work in elementary though- still trying to figure out how to fill this need for DD as her siblings are much younger than she is... won't have this problem after her, the next two are close enough in age).

I went to a Montessori school through 1st grade. After that, I was homeschooled (my mother is a Montessori teacher). My mother taught at the same school I attended, so there wasn't a whole lot of issues for us as far as logistics.

I could go on, I will not.

Good luck!

[onatightrope]

Could you sign him up and try it, and see how it goes?  They can't force you to continue bringing him, can they?  

Our family's experience with Montessori was that it wasn't actually all that social.  The kids are encouraged to do "work" while they are there, and the work is largely meant to be done independently.

If you just want free play time with friends, you could pick a time and location where you can commit to be every week, and publicize it to the homeschool community.  I live in the land of winter, so we meet indoors at a local rec center.  Since you live in Florida, it might make more sense to choose a park.  It may take a little time to catch on, so don't get discouraged too soon.  Also, try to be aware of major homeschool coops in your area, and don't pick a time that conflicts.

GL!