I had an unmedicated, hospital birth nearly 6 months ago. Although the labor went pretty normally, after pushing for 2 hours, I ended up with a 4th degree tear. It was so bad that I suffered extensive blood loss and had to get a blood transfusion the night after I delivered. Later, my OB told me the extent of the damage, saying that it was the worst tear she or anyone in the practice had ever seen. (Apparently, I'm known as the "6th degree" around the office.)
Anyway, I had to go for check-ups each week until 6 weeks after, and my doc was very pleased with my healing. And although I have healed remarkably well, things still aren't back to "normal." I'm so blessed to have not needed further surgery and to have a healthy little girl. But things just aren't the same, even after 6 months. I still have trouble going to the bathroom, and sex is still pretty painful. It's not that it greatly affects my day-to-day life, but I'm beginning to think that I'll never be normal again. I'm sure that some of you can relate, but my birth trauma still makes me feel like I've lost something about myself. It's hard to explain.
Have any of you had a similar experience? How long did it take (if ever) for you to feel like yourself again? How did you cope? Is it something that you just have to learn to live with?
Thanks for reading.