What was your gifted baby like? - Page 2

[Calliope84]

So.. I think she is a week or two from crawling (she can lurch forward and almost has it), now and will be 5 months on the 29th. Some things worry me, though. We went to this event the other day and there were about 50 babies there. She just sat there, occasionally showed interest in the book we brought for her, but mostly just studied everyone. I wanted to introduce her to other babies but she wouldn't interact at all. All the babies who could sit or crawl played the entire time alone or with each other and all the babies who couldn't do much or looked like they were 3-5 months old just sat there and didn't show much interest in anything. They did this game where we moved her arms up and down and danced with her a little and she got really excited during it and while watching the girl leading it all, though. 

The other thing is - she won't mimic me. She has never copied me. All my books say they start to copy you very early on. She does smile at me when I smile at her, but she smiles when she sees us, even if we are not looking. She is also squealing a lot lately and has ah-bo, oo-la type of words, but no dada or mama, yet.  All the books I have say babies take great interest in their hands, but I've never seen her look at them... until last night. She was extremely tired, lying in the bed after nursing and really out-of-it / staring and she lifted up one hand to the light and slowly turned it back and forth and moved her fingers very slowly in different positions and studied it. It was really, really weird.

[pranava]

Staring at their hands while turning them every which way is totally normal and seems like she is at the right age for that.

Babies don't really interact with each other.  Most prefer other adults to look at.  Only around a year do most babies start parallel play - they play next to another child, but not with the child.  At 25 months my DS has really just started to fully interact with other kids his age, and some kids his age still don't interact.  It's normal.

The mimicing will come with time.  She is studying you, but may not have the physical control to repeat your movement as she sees it.  Also, watching + doing is multi-tasking for a baby!  She will clap and wave at you soon, but it would not be out of the ordinary if she didn't mimic you  with movement until 10 - 12 months.  The fact that she mimics your smile, I think means she is fine. Many babies don't say mama or dada until 12 months.  Just keep talking to her and say the letter sounds M M M and D D D to her often and she will pick them up.

[Tjej]

Having a new baby is really exciting and intense, but do try to take all your observations with a grain of salt.  I mean, she's 4 months old...  It's a bit of pressure for you to be expecting these things and being worried or disappointed that they aren't happening.

For the mimicry, my DD didn't do that much either.  She didn't imitate my speaking either.  But when she ended up with a retired teacher for a week the summer she was 1 she started doing it tons.  I think it's just not how I interacted with her and/or she just wasn't wanting to at that young age yet. 

As far as your DD being an observer in large groups - my DD is 5 and she is still like that (to a lesser extent).  You can read about introversion if you want to occupy yourself and learn about that possible aspect to your child's personality.

Tjej

[Calliope84]

Originally Posted by pranava 

Staring at their hands while turning them every which way is totally normal and seems like she is at the right age for that.

Babies don't really interact with each other.  Most prefer other adults to look at.  Only around a year do most babies start parallel play - they play next to another child, but not with the child.  At 25 months my DS has really just started to fully interact with other kids his age, and some kids his age still don't interact.  It's normal.

The mimicing will come with time.  She is studying you, but may not have the physical control to repeat your movement as she sees it.  Also, watching + doing is multi-tasking for a baby!  She will clap and wave at you soon, but it would not be out of the ordinary if she didn't mimic you  with movement until 10 - 12 months.  The fact that she mimics your smile, I think means she is fine. Many babies don't say mama or dada until 12 months.  Just keep talking to her and say the letter sounds M M M and D D D to her often and she will pick them up.

Well, I guess I don't have to worry too much about play dates right now, then. I think this is called asynchronous development. I doubt it would be so noticeable if less happened in the first year of life, but so much does! I guess no baby really goes according to "the book" anyway, though.

Originally Posted by Tjej 

Having a new baby is really exciting and intense, but do try to take all your observations with a grain of salt.  I mean, she's 4 months old...  It's a bit of pressure for you to be expecting these things and being worried or disappointed that they aren't happening.

For the mimicry, my DD didn't do that much either.  She didn't imitate my speaking either.  But when she ended up with a retired teacher for a week the summer she was 1 she started doing it tons.  I think it's just not how I interacted with her and/or she just wasn't wanting to at that young age yet. 

As far as your DD being an observer in large groups - my DD is 5 and she is still like that (to a lesser extent).  You can read about introversion if you want to occupy yourself and learn about that possible aspect to your child's personality.

Tjej

Very true. Good to know about the mimicry... I am an introvert so I get it. I don't know if we can tell this early, though. If we go out all day she needs to nurse every hour and probably feels a bit overwhelmed, but it probably is just because she is a baby...
 

[crunchy_mommy]

OK take this gently but...

I think you are worrying too much.

I also think 5mos old is just very, very young, and a lot could change in the coming weeks & months.

Obviously this is a great place to find out more, vent your worries, etc. but it sort of sounds like you are putting a lot of pressure on her. I don't know many babies that young that socialize/interact with others and I don't think DS mimicked me at all at that age (or if he did, I didn't notice?? It wasn't something I was on the lookout for at all...)

I would really, really try to step back & just enjoy her, enjoy watching her learn and grow... it sounds like she is doing wonderfully.

But, to answer your original question (because I totally get being curious on this, I don't mean to discredit your question at all!)...

I have no clue if DS is gifted -- he's only 27mos old. He does a lot of things that a lot of people and his pedi have told me seem "advanced" but I also suspect he has some kind of sensory issues or something. But, at 4-5mos he was pulling to standing on nearby objects. He was definitely able to sit unassisted before that point, but had almost no interest in doing so. He was a velcro baby -- wanted to be in my arms all the time. He loved loved LOVED books and listened incredibly intently to pretty long stories (i.e. Dr. Seuss)... that interest in books has continued and his favorite thing ever is reading. He was taking steps by 7mos but never crawled and didn't walk much until he was around a year old (to be honest, he still doesn't walk all that much -- he always wants to be carried). I don't remember when he said his first words -- though I do remember around 9mos old he'd say things like "kitty" and "uh-oh drop cup"... He had ~1000 words and was using mostly phrases & sentences by 18mos. He was great at things like puzzles and shape sorters early on, but hasn't sustained much interest in them. He is very mechanical, and the first time he ever saw a screwdriver (around a year old) he just knew how to use it & walked around pretending to unscrew all the screws in the house. He loves things like phones, cameras, LED candles, outlets, etc. He has an interesting way of thinking and relating to people -- it's hard to specify or explain, but he just seems to think differently than other kids. I feel like he gained a lot of milestones quickly & early on, and somewhere around 18mos maybe leveled off a bit.

[emmaegbert]

hand thing sounds totally normal.

babies really don't interact at that age. really not for a good long while, though they MIGHT interact with an older kid who pays attention to them, or a child who they see very regularly. Our friend's daughter was over today- she is 9mo- my 24mo daughter was engaging her occasionally and they laugh with eachother some. But mostly she is just observing us but focused on the adults (esp her mom, until mom leaves).

Don't worry. Like I said in my earlier post and others have said too: She's so young. Enjoy her and don't put too many expectations on yourself or on her. give her opportunities to be around other people- and she will engage with them when she's ready. I was more gung-ho to encourage peer friendships with my first, now with my second, I don't worry as much. Of course- she has her brother around all the time. And we live with extended family too- so more community at home. But only recently has she started being interested in having "friends"... and she just turned 2.

[Calliope84]

Originally Posted by emmaegbert 

hand thing sounds totally normal.

babies really don't interact at that age. really not for a good long while, though they MIGHT interact with an older kid who pays attention to them, or a child who they see very regularly. Our friend's daughter was over today- she is 9mo- my 24mo daughter was engaging her occasionally and they laugh with eachother some. But mostly she is just observing us but focused on the adults (esp her mom, until mom leaves).

Don't worry. Like I said in my earlier post and others have said too: She's so young. Enjoy her and don't put too many expectations on yourself or on her. give her opportunities to be around other people- and she will engage with them when she's ready. I was more gung-ho to encourage peer friendships with my first, now with my second, I don't worry as much. Of course- she has her brother around all the time. And we live with extended family too- so more community at home. But only recently has she started being interested in having "friends"... and she just turned 2.

We are visiting in-laws right now and she LOVES her 3 yr old cousin. She watches him and tries to carry on conversations, but I think he isn't very impressed with what she has to say lol. I am trying to enjoy her. I am a little sad she is crawling now. I miss having her in my arms without being so wiggly!

[emmaegbert]

oh yeah- kids of all ages are pretty much fascinated by somewhat older kids. but the reverse is not always the case (though some older kids do particularly like little ones). Anyway looking at my old post, it was written unclearly. Babies interact- just not so much *with eachother*. Then when they get older, they start to, though at first often still kind of mediated by adults. And they will interact much more readily and easily with peers who they know well, kids with whom they have a lot of regular contact, etc. At least, that is what I have mostly observed in my own kids and others.

[Disco Infiltrator]

my son was born with his eyes wide open. I remember sitting in a parenting support group where the leader said that babies will "wake up" and you won't see their eyes for a while because they're closed and I was really, really confused because DS was always eyes-wide-open. We were so delirious with sleep deprivation after he was born and I remember us joking that he was keeping his eyes open in case some predatory baby came and stole his milk. He was one hundred miles an hour from the beginning - doing supported standing from very early on, earlier than three months, started crawling at 5.5 months. Cross crawling at 7 months and cruising, as well as being able to get down from standing all at the same time. Now he's four and whip-smart. The kid has a memory that will not stop and can remember things from years ago and will verbally negotiate pretty much almost any situation. He's a boy so his verbalization is pretty normal but his vocabulary amazes me. Now we have a much more average baby as a second and it's helping me realize how different DS was. Very intense kid.

We are unschooling DS and DD and I have no desire to even mentally label DS as gifted, although I suspect he could be. Like I said, he's at least whip-smart. I don't want my expectations to get in the way of him being a kid and I firmly believe that he will meet his own needs through his natural curiosity and passion for learning, all I have to do is follow his lead and provide a rich and supportive environment. So there's just no need to KNOW based on that.

I've heard that you can't truly test a child for being gifted until older.

Lastly, I've found that DS will do things that interest him and if he's not interested, he won't do them. We don't push any rote memorization in our home, he doesn't spout off his numbers or alphabet, both big benchmarks for parents around us. I've noticed that he does know his numbers and letters, can even do some simple math, but push him on these things and he shuts down. He's not reading "early" but I'm not expecting him or pushing him to read at all. It will come when he's ready, right now he sees no value to it. Instead he runs around doing experiments and building robots out of household objects. I'm trying to get at that there are all kinds of ways to show giftedness besides being ahead on benchmarks - he's been ahead on some and average on others and a little behind on a few, but I don't think any of that takes away from him being a pretty smart kid. And now I will go cuddle him because I'm ignoring him to write this.

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by Disco Infiltrator 

my son was born with his eyes wide open. I remember sitting in a parenting support group where the leader said that babies will "wake up" and you won't see their eyes for a while because they're closed and I was really, really confused because DS was always eyes-wide-open. We were so delirious with sleep deprivation after he was born and I remember us joking that he was keeping his eyes open in case some predatory baby came and stole his milk.

This was DS too!! Very very alert. I remember when we left the hospital they handed us some paper about babies sleeping 18+ hours a day at first. WHAT?!?! I don't think he slept 18 hours TOTAL over the 3 days we were there!!

[CA Mom]

My son was a train wreck and as soon as he could move so was our house. He was a very unhappy baby until he could move. He started crawling at 7 months out of frustration to get to everything he wanted to explore. He had a ton of SI issues too. He s out growing them now. It's funny I never saw him as gifted that young. I can see it now, but back then he was just a very busy very difficult baby. I always thought my oldest was going to have the abilities because she learned her letters early, could memorize whole books by 2 and I couldn't even get my son to look at a book until 3. Now my oldest struggles in language arts and my son reads 3 grade levels above his own.

[Casha'sMommy]

Originally Posted by Disco Infiltrator 

my son was born with his eyes wide open. I remember sitting in a parenting support group where the leader said that babies will "wake up" and you won't see their eyes for a while because they're closed and I was really, really confused because DS was always eyes-wide-open. We were so delirious with sleep deprivation after he was born and I remember us joking that he was keeping his eyes open in case some predatory baby came and stole his milk.

Us too! DS was literally born looking dh in the eyes. When ds restituted his eyes were wide open and looking around the room, says dh.

From the minute ds was born we were on our toes but that pretty much describes all of my children with the exception of the dd who was born profoundly deaf. We've pretty much come to the conclusion that she was much more calm because she didn't how much was going on around her and now that she has cochlear implants she's off the charts wild.

[emmaegbert]

funny, DD was literally born with her eyes open too- apparently she looked around at the midwives and the room when just her head was out (she was born with just  3 pushes, so this was in between numbers 2 and 3). She was a very calm baby though compared to her older brother who was born "floppy" (briefly non-responsive probably due to shoulder dystocia). DD has just turned 2 and I think jury's out on her learning style and cognitive strengths, but her temperament is still very calm and easygoing.

[loraxc]

My son was also born with his eyes open! He was a waterbirth and I guess the midwife could see him looking around before his body was born. She went on and on about this, so I guess it's unusual?

[Calliope84]

Originally Posted by CA Mom 

My son was a train wreck and as soon as he could move so was our house. He was a very unhappy baby until he could move. He started crawling at 7 months out of frustration to get to everything he wanted to explore. He had a ton of SI issues too. He s out growing them now. It's funny I never saw him as gifted that young. I can see it now, but back then he was just a very busy very difficult baby. I always thought my oldest was going to have the abilities because she learned her letters early, could memorize whole books by 2 and I couldn't even get my son to look at a book until 3. Now my oldest struggles in language arts and my son reads 3 grade levels above his own.

Avalon is so happy now, too! She will be 7 months in 9 days and she is crawling all over the place, pulling up on everything, opening drawers, dumping out any basket she sees, etc. But she is actually happy now. She started giving us belly laughs finally. She was really serious and didn't make much noise before... she only just started babbling (mama, dada ada,ohgo etc a week or so ago. I was wondering about that because I think the baby books say they do it between 4-6 months.)

[Casha'sMommy]

Originally Posted by Calliope84 

Avalon is so happy now, too! She will be 7 months in 9 days and she is crawling all over the place, pulling up on everything, opening drawers, dumping out any basket she sees, etc. But she is actually happy now. She started giving us belly laughs finally. She was really serious and didn't make much noise before... she only just started babbling (mama, dada ada,ohgo etc a week or so ago. I was wondering about that because I think the baby books say they do it between 4-6 months.)

It is my belief that, as babies, gifted children do not follow milestones like babbling as typical children tend to. I think those that are gifted are far too busy expoloring, experiencing, observing, etc differenet things and situations that they're too busy for babbling. (I believe the same holds true for crawling, walking, etc.) I think that once they get past a certain point they can let all that language out but not before they've figured some stuff out.

16yo dd never really babbled, she had individual words which she used regularly but never put them together much to make phrases or sentences. She didn't really talk much before 2yo but once she started she never stopped and still hasn't to this day. lol

[Moon Faerie]

My ds is extremely gifted. He's also an aspie and has motor delays. As a baby, his gross motor skills were always on the back end of normal. He didn't start crawling until 10 months, walking until around 17 months. He was a late talker (which he has since made up for, lol). He didn't fully potty train until almost 5. Now, at almost 8, he still struggles with many fine motor skills things. He can't button, snap, or zip. He struggles with scissors. Etc. 

My dd was always very far ahead on meeting milestones. She was running at 10 months. She talked in full sentences really early. (I remember going trick or treating when she was 2.5, and she told us. "This hill is just too steep.") Etc. She's not gifted though. Academically speaking, she's merely an advanced student. She's quite the athlete though. 

[MelissaBarnes]

Have you thought about having him tested for Sensory Processing Disorder? They have some really good techniques to help kids deal with that.

Melissa

[BennyPai]

Of course it's difficult to tell so early, but it is great to be in tune with your little one's personality and interests.  I have always followed my dd's lead.

My older, gifted dd was in the normal range with her infant milestones, including sitting up and eventually walking.  She was an alert baby, though, and had a marked interest in books.  A friend of mine gifted her Where the Wild Things Are when she was almost 4 months old because dd was smiling, cooing, reaching for the pictures and generally showing so much interest. 

As someone else mentioned, it is really interesting to reflect back on her life so far and see how her personality was forming so early.  She still loves books!   As a first grader she excelled in all subjects, but reading especially.  She started first grade reading at fourth grade level and was reading at the eighth grade level by June.  (So glad her school is flexible with students being at different levels:  so far she hasn't been singled out at all.) 

My second dd was ahead of most others her age with the infant milestones.  She was walking (and climbing-Eek!) by nine months.  She didn't have the patience to sit through an entire book until she was three years old.  As a second child, though, people say they are in a bigger hurry to "keep up with big sister/brother."  So far, she has impressed her Montessori teacher with her 3-D puzzle skills and frustrated her public school Kindergarten teacher with her behavior... Just like with dd1, I am following dd2's lead.  Is she gifted?  Time will tell, but meanwhile I am just focusing on meeting her needs.

[MomofSev]

First of all, she is ADORABLE!

 I am very impressed with her ability to sit up so well at such a young age. Although, I only have one child to compare it to so take that for what it's worth. I would say the pedi has a pretty good comparison meter, though.

My son was very alert as soon as we brought him home from the hospital. He was able to track things with his eyes that very first day. I remember how surprised my husband and I were, not that we have any real experience with babies besides our son. He learned sign language at 4 months, though (the "eat" sign.. it's pretty important haha!) He didn't sit up unassisted for long periods of time until closer to 6 months, like most babies I believe. He started crawling around 7 months and walked just before he turned 10 months old. Like everything in life, once he was ready to do it.. he just went for it. :)

Here is a video I took 8 days before he was 4 months old signing "eat". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHCk-4Bjdtk

This surprised us, but we went with it and kept teaching him signs as soon as we could.