First off, I am a Christian, so please realize that this is coming from a Christian perspective. And I'm really hoping for some perspective from like-minded people in this subject, but I realize that this a public forum and anyone can respond. I'm open, just please don't kick me when I'm down.
A few years ago, in the middle of the night, I found my husband watching a really raunchy, soft porn movie. He immediately got flustered and acted like he was trying to turn the channel and didn't realize what he was watching. A week later I was cruising through On Demand and found that he watched another movie that was soft porn. I kept quiet about it. In hindsight we should have talked then.
Today, I was going through our Netflix Queu and discovered that he had been watching more movies with soft porn. Just a few. . . maybe he's watched them a couple times a year. But still, it's just what I've seen. There could be more stuff out there that he's hid well.
We have set guidelines in our marriage. Not watching soft porn or porn is one of them. I feel violated, hurt, betrayed, and humiliated.
He has no idea that I've found these videos. He is currently away training. We only see him on the weekends. I did send him a text saying that we needed to talk later.
This is so frustrating. With him being gone so much lately our "sex play" has been through the roof. We've both become more open to try and explore new things with each other. Now, all of a sudden this is ruined. I was so excited for him to come home this weekend. It is his first visit home in 3 months and we were planning a whole lotta fun. Now I'm just not feeling it! I'm not feeling anything but negative emotions.
I'm not sure how to talk to him about it without throwing so much emotion into it. And I'm not sure how I can trust him when he's going to be gone for several months.