I am new to this forum. The reason I joined is because I am currently 11 weeks pregnant and am desperately seeking a midwife in Southern Ontario who will accept me into care. A little background info on me: I had my first child, a boy, 21 years ago when I was only 16. I was in labor for 27 hours with him and ended up with a c-section because he was posterior. The surgery went horribly! The doctor started the surgery before the epidural took effect so I felt him slice my abdomen open. Unfortunately, the anesthesiologist had administered too much of the paralytic drug in my IV, so I was awake but unable to tell anyone I could feel everything. Thank God the nurse noticed that my heart rate was increasing once the cutting began and told the doctor that she thought I could feel it. The doctor stopped cutting mid-incision, but his hand jerked and he accidentally sliced my skin a couple of inches up the middle of my belly, leaving a very nasty scar. After the surgery, I went into shock and did not get to lay eyes on my baby boy until the next day. I got an infection afterwards and was required to remain in hospital for a week on IV antibiotics, and the recovery was long and extremely painful. It was such a horrible experience that I vowed I would never have children again.
I raised my son alone until I met my husband when my son was six. My husband knew about my experience and we decided to focus on raising my son and not have anymore children. We were married for ten years before we had a change of heart and decided to have another child. We were elated when we got pregnant with our first daughter, now four years old. At the time we were living in Southern California and very few medical insurance plans supported midwifery, so we had no choice but to go to an OB/gyn. He agreed to support me in my firm decision to VBAC. Long story short, when I was 40 weeks and 6 days pregnant, he tricked me into coming to the hospital for what he called routine outpatient "post-dates" fetal monitoring. When I got there, he strapped my arms to the bed and sectioned me. I pleaded for him not to do this to me, but my pleas were ignored. My beautiful baby daughter was stolen from my body and whisked out of the room, and I was not reunited with her for hours. I repeatedly asked in the OR if my baby was all right and received no answers. There was no indication whatsoever for a c-section, and the doctor received $54,000 for what he did to me (wonderful money-motivated U.S. medical system we have....). The doctor has been the subject of criminal assault and battery charges for the past four years, and several experts have confirmed that all the evidence is crystal clear that he did this to me 100% against my will with no medical indication. Nevertheless, last week I was forced to dismiss the case because I could no longer afford to continue my legal battle against him. Since I have moved to Canada and no longer have any assets in California, his attorney filed a motion requesting that I put up a $20,000 bond to continue with the case. These motions are typically granted by the courts. In addition, I would need to pay another $15 - $20K to fight him. With a mortgage and a family, I don't have that kind of money laying around.
Two years ago, we had our second daughter in Vancouver, B.C. with the help of fantastic midwives. The labor and birth were 100% natural, and there were zero complications and my baby girl was immediately placed on my chest. I nursed her right away, and I even cut her cord! It was amazing! After years of suffering with PTSD and undergoing counseling about what happened to me in California I finally felt like a whole woman again.
I am now living in Southern Ontario and am currently 11 weeks pregnant. I made an appointment with the local midwifery clinic and arrived for my appointment and was basically told that there was almost a 100% chance that I would be sectioned again! What?! Even though I had already had a successful vaginal birth!!? It felt like the doctor in California had ruined my life all over again! I am horrified. I will NEVER have another c-section EVER. If I cannot find a midwife to care for me and deliver this child, my husband and I have resigned ourselves to having an unassisted home birth.
I am so sorry for the lengthy post, but I wanted to give you all the details so you will know what I am up against. Can anyone PLEASE help me? I am desperately seeking a quality midwife who will agree to take me under her care and assist me with the delivery of my baby, preferably a home birth or a maternity center birth (basically anywhere where there is no operating room in the same building!). If anyone can help me out, I would be so grateful. Thanks for listening!