Boo, I'm the "DH" referenced by Moonstones. It's a bit awkward posting here, I feel like I'm walking into the women's restroom or something. Nevertheless, I wanted to make a couple points:
1) I appreciate all the advice offered and I know it all comes from a place of love, so thank you. I'm glad my wife (or whatever two initial acronym you assign.."DW"?) has a community such as this to participate in.
2) Yes, the pediatricians remarks have influence over me, but only in that she is an extensively trained medical doctor (/mother) who spends every day dealing with kids. She is a very kind, caring person, and I respect her experience regarding the health of my child. I do not, however, take everything she says at face value, but rather I take it into consideration. I think her experience with kids and her medical training earns the right for this consideration. Furthermore, neither I, nor my wife, have any of this experience or medical training, so I feel it a bit ignorant to dismiss what she says as complete conspiracy-driven fallacy and drop her for a different pediatrician who tells us everything we want to hear.
3) It's true, we did initially find a great pediatrician who seemed to give more weight to alternative medicine, but we were paying 8-10 times more to see her. I will admit that the decision to change pediatricians was heavily influenced by the financial reality, and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. If we had enough extra scratch to keep seeing the first pediatrician, I would have fully supported it. But we didn't. We did interview doctors from the two offices our insurance did cover at the lower rate, and I felt the doctor we currently see was a good choice.
4) While the advice to lie to the pediatrician about the sleeping situation sounds the most comfortable of the options, I personally feel there is no need to lie. I would hope that our doctor would respect our honesty, in fact. I think (if it comes up again) if we just tell her we understand her concerns about the sleeping in the bed thing, but the baby is sleeping just fine, she will respect our decision. I don't hold it against her (the Dr.) for telling us what she thinks about co-sleeping. I'm sure she gets asked parenting advice from just about every parent she sees, so I don't think it's strange that she offers it up. It doesn't mean we have to do what she says.
In the end, I want my child to have the best healthcare possible. And I believe that this is achieved best by a reasonable balance of modern medicine and alternative medicine. I believe they both have something important to offer. So if our financial situation deems that we have to see a more affordable, albeit less-alternative doctor, then that's fine. But we'll balance it by continuing to do our own research on vaccines and other issues as they arise. Worst case scenario we know there is another doctor we can go to for a second opinion if there is a serious medical problem.