I need help.

[dalia]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post but I really need help. I have struggled with food issues all my life. I am not terribly overweight, probably about 25/30 lbs, but I am prediabetic since the birth of my ds 18 months ago. I was really, really big and he was HUGE. Now my dh and I want to have another but I don't want another c-section.. I really, really need to lose more weight (lost ten lbs recently but starting to gain it back again).

I want this so bad, but I cannot seem to get control of myself. I hate it. I wish I could do hcg but I am still nursing so I am on weight watchers. I use up all my points and all my flex points. Right now I am on vacation and the diet has gone out the window. I just want to be healthy, and have a healthy baby vaginally. Just about everyone in my family has diabetes. I don't want to join the club!

I have had an eating disorder in the past, and though I don't actively display those symptoms now, I feel like I live with the ghost of bulimia every moment of my life. I would never purge now, but I still feel the pattern: binge, guilt, binge... I feel imprisoned.

I'm sorry this is so long. I guess I just need support. I need someone to tell me I can do this. I am in therapy and have been for quite some time. It helps a lot. But I also need the voice of friends, and I can't seem to find anyone irl that "gets" what this struggle is like.

I cannot fail this time. If you can offer an encouraging word, it would be greatly appreciated.

[pacificbliss]

I am sorry. From what I know of pre-diabetes losing just 10% of your weight can have a big positive effect in terms of insulin and triglycerides. Did you have gestational diabetes? I am doing ww while nursing too. I seem to be having some luck (12 lbs so far). Part of what helped me is to not think of it as a diet. I record everything even when I go way overboard. It helps me to own up to it then I let go of it and move on. I have stopped saying things like, "well, I already messed up my diet, might as well just have another (insert food item here)" Also, you may have a better shot at a VBAC if you weight less and certainly if you can avoid gestational diabetes but there are no guarantees. I feel like you may be putting too much pressure on yourself. If I put that much pressure on my weight loss efforts it would send me straight to the fridge. I am an emotional eater. There's lots of support here. I hope you find some good advice.

[dalia]

Thank you, pacificbliss. I do want a vbac, but I know it might not happen and I know I still might get gd even if I lose weight. What I am not okay with is ending up with full-blown diabetes after the birth. I am older and I want to be healthy and active for my children and husband. Thanks so much for your kind words. Everything helps!

[dalia]

I guess I should have put this thread somewhere else.

[pacificbliss]

It's been so quiet here lately. I don't know why. I am usually over on the postpartum weight loss thread and it has been quiet too. There are lots of supportive women there though. You should join us!

[dalia]

Ooooh.. I would like to move this thread over there but idk how!

[amma_mama]

Different things work for different people, but I had success with tracking my food. It was not weight watchers but a similar discipline that, hopefully, will leave me with better eating habits overall. Apart from the "method", another important factor for me was finding a better balance of foods that left me feeling truly satiated. For me, that was much more lean protein than I usually ate in the past.

You CAN do this. It is tough, but set reasonable goals, both overall and for milestones to celebrate along the way.

Keep us posted on your journey!

[laohaire]

Yes, different things work for different people. For me it wasn't about the calories (I tried that, ate under 1000 calories a day for several months, and ended up feeling awful and STILL didn't lose any weight). For me it was all about WHAT I ate. I think everybody can benefit from eliminating sugar - there is no benefit to any sugar, and eating it will increase your insulin resistance (which you already have, you say). I have, incidentally, lost all my excess weight by doing that before (and that was 25-30 pounds). I didn't diet in any way, I just eliminated sugar, that's it.

After I had DD, I had a hard time losing my excess weight again, but eliminating grains is working for me. I'm not counting a single calorie, but just eating all I want of whole foods with no sugar or grains.

[dalia]

Thanks to everyone who responded. I'm feeling better now. I quit eating sugar several days ago, and though I haven't lost weight, I definitely feel different!

[sewaneecook]

During Lent (around 6 weeks long) I avoided sugar.  There wasn't a single bite of it in the house and I never craved it.  My mood improved, I had more patience, I was energetic, I lost about 5 pounds (without trying!), and other foods tasted better.  Yesterday and today I had a lot of Easter candy and I feel absolutely horrible today.  My mind is foggy, I'm short-tempered, I'm tired, lethargic, and despite all this I keep going back for more of the candy!  If sugar is in the house I eat it ... ALL of it.  It isn't something I can control, so I need to keep away from it.  Whatever it is that you eat and can't control, keep it out of the house and don't allow others to bring it in.  If you are nursing, keep away from too much low carb (which has been shown to reduce milk supply), but no one ever benefits from refined sugars. 

You can do this!!!