I want this so bad, but I cannot seem to get control of myself. I hate it. I wish I could do hcg but I am still nursing so I am on weight watchers. I use up all my points and all my flex points. Right now I am on vacation and the diet has gone out the window. I just want to be healthy, and have a healthy baby vaginally. Just about everyone in my family has diabetes. I don't want to join the club!
I have had an eating disorder in the past, and though I don't actively display those symptoms now, I feel like I live with the ghost of bulimia every moment of my life. I would never purge now, but I still feel the pattern: binge, guilt, binge... I feel imprisoned.
I'm sorry this is so long. I guess I just need support. I need someone to tell me I can do this. I am in therapy and have been for quite some time. It helps a lot. But I also need the voice of friends, and I can't seem to find anyone irl that "gets" what this struggle is like.
I cannot fail this time. If you can offer an encouraging word, it would be greatly appreciated.