I'll try to keep this short. At our LO's first birthday party, MIL said she wanted to make the cake. I told her we would really appreciate her bringing it for other folks, but that we were going to make our LO's cake since we are avoiding sugar and caffeine (duh, he's a baby). I told her verbally and in an email, and gently and kindly both times. For singing "Happy Birthday," we used her cake with a candle and everything, then just switched his portion when it was time to eat and didn't make a big deal out of it. She kept telling him "Tell your momma you want Grandma's cake." Our nephew has a monstrous sweet tooth and he routinely gets all kinds of candy at her house (then won't eat dinner and gets a spanking or fussed at). DH and I are definitely on the same page about avoiding food color & sugar, especially at this young age (MIL's comments don't bother DH--he ignores it all and I can only try to ignore or pretend to). She was also put out because she asked what kind of suckers and candy to bring to the party, and I told her she could bring whatever she wanted, but that DS wasn't going to be allowed to have them. I made a big deal out of letting her know how much he did like other foods (like cheese) that she brought, but regardless of how I get around it, this is going to be a continuing issue since she lives locally. Though she initially said she thought it was a great idea, she also objects to babywearing, saying "Aren't you going to let him out of that thing?" and "That thing must really hurt your back." I made sure she got to hold him for awhile at the party, but I was not about to put him down on the wet concrete (it was at an outdoor shelter). I know this is kind of just a rant, but the food thing is really getting on my nerves. TIA for your thoughts.
UPDATE: MIL just called about our coming over for dinner tomorrow night and mentioned that she had applesauce, cheese, etc. (things she knows we let him eat) and said she had popsicles he could have for dessert. I reminded her that we were avoiding sugar, and she said "Oh, these are okay--they are sugar-free," meaning they have artificial sweetener. I said "I don't know if I have mentioned this, but we are avoiding sugar, food color, and preservatives at least until he is two." I am hoping that telling her exactly what we are avoiding and until when will help. She then asked if he could at least have the green ones because they didn't have the "bad food color" in them (she feels that red is bad and others are okay). I told her again we were trying to avoid all food color. Hopefully, with repetition and consistency, she will understand what we mean and understand that we mean it.
Edited by McGucks - 4/15/11 at 10:21am