I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but, to me, it is a personal growth question.
I moved to Los Angeles 8 years ago on a whim to be with my now husband. He had a really great job here. I never thought it was going to be the place I was going to live for the rest of my life. But now we're here with a nice house in a cozy neighborhood, 2 kids, school, etc...
While my DH officially had an office here, he spent most of his time on the road. He has recently changed jobs which has required even more road travel. And as it happens, he doesn't even have an office here anymore. His co-workers live all over the place... new york, Bay Area, and other places. He works out of town all week, one week NYC, one week Boston, one week Seattle, etc...
I'm from the Bay Area and I've always seen myself moving back. I love it there. My mother lives there and she is getting older. We've flirted with the idea of her moving down here, but it's just not looking all that possible. She has a business there that would be tremendously difficult to liquidate. She's also really happy with her friends and all her regular haunts. Plus, she has major hoarder issues, so getting her to deal with all her stuff and move just ain't gonna happen any time soon.
Last night my DH called from the road and said he'd be willing to talk about moving home (he's from the Bay Area as well, though has no family left in the area). All he needs for work is to be close to a major airport and ideally on either coast.
My issues with L.A. are the following... I have tried to love L.A. and in a lot of ways I do. I have friends here, my kids go to great schools, they are happy. I have a really nice house in a neighborhood I basically love. Here's what I don't love. I feel completely disconnected here. I've tried to get involved in things other that kid-stuff, but it's always a total hassle. There's always so much driving and traffic involved. I need to go back to school if I ever want to work in a meaningful way again, but the academic programs for what I want to do are few and far between and again involve massive and un-doable logistics (driving and traffic). I live on the other side of town from UCLA and it can take 2 hours to get there in peak traffic time. USC is closer to my house, but it's hard to get into and massively expensive. In the Bay Area, there are plentiful options for what I want to do, plus I have a family business I can work with and lots of family and friends up there.
But if we decide to move, it's only because I selfishly want to. I've been really depressed here for a long time despite my trying really hard to do all the right things to be happy. My DH is open to moving, but he doesn't really want to--it would only be for my sake. My kids definitely wouldn't want to move as they have lots of friends and activities they enjoy. That said, they are 5 and 3 and I'm sure they'd find new friends and activities.
I'd hate to uproot everyone for my own selfish wants, but the fact that this option is now on the table has me questioning.
I'd really appreciate any feedback on this. Thanks so much!