Talk to me about age 9 :) - Page 2

[Vermillion]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

Nine was not transitional at our house. Nine was still childhood.

 In my own experience, at least from what I've seen with many of my friend's kids, 9 seemed to be transitional for many of them. From mostly childlike to having interests that are a little older.

And I remember when I was 9, I was in a very weird middle place between childhood and preteen. I was getting breast buds & shaving my legs, and having crushes on boys, but still wanting to play house and barbies!

Anyway, who really knows what the year will bring? All kids are so different after all

[mamazee]

My 9-year-old stillndoes kid stuff and is not yet interested in boys or fashion or anything, though I suppose girls who are already in puberty could have crushes, and really itis normal and not a bad thing for a pubescent child to get crushes. I don't like when paople talk about normal parts of maturation as if they are negative.

Anyway, she is still into kid games, even though she does sometimes watch iCarly. It hasn't changed her at all. She isn't really interested in tv though so if she watched more than just occasionally it could affect her more I guess.

Her favorite activity is still art, but writing has joined it.

I think different kids will start getting moody and interested in boys or girls at different ages, depending on where they are in physical development. I would not feel like my daughter was worse or less precious or special if she were more developed and pubescent than she is. Some girls have hit puberty at 9. On of my dd's friends has, and she is still as special and wonderful as she was before. Even though she has a crush on Justin Bieber. For me it was Shawn Cassidy. Lol.

[oldcrunchymom]

My kids are teens and they were still children at age 9.  I think you get a clearer view looking back, though.  That little bit of sass your 9 year old gives you or the cute crush she has on a young pop star is childlike in retrospect, and nothing like the emotional stuff a preteen entering puberty goes through.  Let alone the actual TEEN years.  I'm not sure why we need a "tween" designation anyway--it's a marketing thing, IMO.  9 year olds are still kids unless there's some true advanced puberty going on with them.

[Alyantavid]

I don't think any of us thinks our 9 year olds are no longer children.  But they are changing and growing up and 9 and 10 seem like a long ways from 5 and 6.  Because they have changed SO much. 

These years are here for a reason, so you don't watch your kid jump from a missing toothed 6 year old straight to a hormone filled 16 year old.  It's much more gradual than that so seeing these little signs makes it real, as in, yeah my kid's getting older, he's not really THAT far from being a teen. 

I very distinctly remember my teen years and have no desire to enter that on this side, any time soon.  But it's like anything else, it's a stage we gradually get to and when we do, we're a little more prepared for having survived these tween and pretween years.

My son very abruptly (at least to me) jumped from watching Spongebob and Scooby Doo to watching the tween shows.  And there's nothing wrong with that, it's perfectly natural, even if every family doesn't follow this path.  I just hate the vibe I'm getting from this thread that unless your still plays with dolls and blocks at 9, you're doing something wrong or pushing them to grow up or something. 

For me, my kids develop at their own pace.  My 9 year old is who he is, as a 9 year old.  I'm certainly not pushing him into chasing girls or shaving or anything else.  He's gorwing up at his pace, not anyone else's.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by Alyantavid 

IBut it's like anything else, it's a stage we gradually get to and when we do, we're a little more prepared for having survived these tween and pretween years.

.

It really wasn't gradual at our house. Both my kids were still kids at nine. Yes, they were more mature and bigger than they were at 6, part of the very gradual changes through out childhood.

It was nothing compared to the BAM of puberty. Which wasn't gradually. Not physically or emotionally. Heck, one of my DDs went to bed one night a chubby little girl and woke up a D cup. 

I don't think the theme of the thread is that if you child isn't playing with dolls at nine, you are doing something wrong. Rather, if you think the gradual growing up you see at nine is any kind of foreshadowing for what it will be like when puberty really hits, you are in for a big, big shock.

Nine is easy. Nine is childhood with more maturity and sometimes a tinge  of attitude.

On the other hand, if your 12 year old (esp. if it's a girl) has all the symptoms of bi-polar disorder, they are completely normal and you should attempt to relax and not take any of it personally. (And I got that from a therapist!)

[QueenSheba'sMom]

My dd is 9, and I feel like we're repeating the 2's again in some ways. Most of the time she is still so sweet and fun and wonderful, but she's also increasingly emotional for no identifiable reason. I'm getting more "pushback" than I ever remember. I try to take my kids out on fun adventures, and she seems to be dragging her feet and lingering behind with a scowl now. She says some things just to get a rise, and she seems frustrated with herself. She's so young to be dealing with this emotional soup! I feel like I've had it easy for the past few years, and this is the beginning of a transition. She wears deoderant, has developed hair, wears a bra, ... I don't think it will be long till her period starts. Do they have primrose oil for kids?

What has really shocked me is my reaction to her. I always assumed that puberty was a child-side transition, but I find myself getting irritated by her behavior and attitude. That scares me. I don't want these kinds of emotions to ruin our beautiful relationship. I actually yelled at her today- in public- and I'm not usually a yeller- usually I have a deep well of patience to draw on.

As for this thread, I feel like kids develop at different paces, and although our kids aren't in full fledged puberty, some of them are clearly undergoing a dramatic transition. It's not really an occasion for blaming each other. God no. This is when we need support more than ever, even if support is hearing that we're not alone.

[Hey Mama!]

Originally Posted by QueenSheba'sMom 

As for this thread, I feel like kids develop at different paces, and although our kids aren't in full fledged puberty, some of them are clearly undergoing a dramatic transition. It's not really an occasion for blaming each other. God no. This is when we need support more than ever, even if support is hearing that we're not alone.

Thank you for saying this. There is a lot of negativity on this thread from more experienced parents.  Just because you've been there/done that and bought the t-shirt doesn't diminish our observations of changes in our own children. Yes, it may not be as dramatic as full fledged puberty/teen years but for our particular child, it is a change and may signal the start of the transition from child to teenager. I do not feel that I am rushing my child to grow up by noticing and responding to these changes, and wondering what the future may hold for her in terms of emotional and physical development.