My MIL is bearable, but honestly, I am fine not seeing her for months at a time (we live 1500 miles away right now). She does things very differently than me -- she's kind of intense, lacks much of a sense of humor, is extremely detail oriented, is overprotective of my kids (for example, when she visits, she finds it horrifying that I let them play outside barefoot in the summer and tells me so), and all of this affects how we interact when she is in our house, with our children. So no huge issues, but I really don't want her around all the time. We just don't mesh well.
We currently live 1500 miles away from both of our families. We'd like to be closer (well, I'd like to be closer to my family...DH is fine either way) and he has a possible job opportunity near my MILs town. We'd probably live 15-30 minutes away from her. It's still about 1.5 hours from my family, but at least not a plane ride away and at this point, there is not much hope of moving super close to my family.
She is a very busy woman so she wouldn't be dropping in all the time, but I'm sure we'd see her a lot more often than now (twice a year). She is very active in the community and we will most likely get a lot of invitations from her to go to charity events, orchestra concerts, etc (which are not really our speed and with 3 kids and a 4th on the way, just not possible).
I just can't decide if living close would slowly kill me or if it's possible to strike a balance. Honestly, it is so tense and uncomfortable when she is here it's just painful. To make matters worse, DH is not very close to her and they are awkward around each other, so all around it's just...uck. I would never CHOOSE to live near her for any reason besides she lives in a great area of the country, it's moderately close to my family, and DH has good job prospects there. Any thoughts?