I'm a wreck... I'm staring at the end of my maternity leave, and have decided not to go back to work. I'm still not 100% on my decision, but I've decided to give it a shot. I'm totally at a loss on how to inform my boss after working for him for 6 years.
Any advice on how to do this and not burn any bridges? I think I would like to go back to work there in a year or two-- or maybe part time before that, if they would have me.
I used to be a manager. From that perspective, I think the obvious is the way to go. If possible, you make a face to face appointment, but if not, pick up the phone and call. Tell your boss how much you have appreciated everything he has done for you, and that you have truly enjoyed your time there. And that you are sad to leave but you feel it is the right thing to do for your family right now. And that you would be very open to working there in the future if that worked out for both of you.
That's all you can do, really. The rest is up to your boss plus circumstance. Obviously some bosses would be really supportive and there would be no bridge burned whatsoever. Others will think "gee, another woman dropping out for her rugrats." (sigh). If I were your boss, of course I would be sad to lose you but would happily give you a call if something came up later (assuming I liked your work, of course). But I might not be able to call, even if I wanted to, because the economy sucks. So there are my thoughts.
Best wishes on your decision.
I would make sure to tell your boss first, that you really enjoy the work, and second, that you would be open to coming back after your babe is a little older. You may want to say something like, "It is important to me to do high quality work, and with my family situation, I don't feel like I am in a position to perform at a high level right now. I enjoy working here very much, and I would be open to returning full time after [baby] is a year or two old, or part time before that, if there is mutual interest."
Good luck!
I agree with making it a face-to-face discussion. I'd state it just as you did here, telling your boss that you'd love to work for the company in the future but that right now you have to make the right decision for your family.Good luck!
I agree with what the others said. You should also check to make sure you won't have to pay back any benefits like your short-term disability pay.
update... i just got back from the office... it would have been perfect if not for the tears. In 7 years, I've never once cried at work, but I couldn't help it this time.I excused my self, but started tearing up once i got back. It was embarrasing.
Id forgotten how much the office feels like home. So much upheavel in my home life in the past few months, but my cube mate still has the same tin of christmas candies at his desk from before I went into labor.
Sigh. My boss said that he'd look into extending my leave or having me work part time, but I doubt much will come of that. He also said that we were parting on good terms, and that everything would work out, and that he'd love to have me come back, but I don't know how much of that was the sniffles.
Aw. We're all human. I don't think there was anything wrong with you crying. If anything, it just demonstrated your sincerity.
Now I'm remembering my huge river-of-tears, blow-out-snot-fest cry with my previous boss all those years ago.
Hmph, now I'm remembering that I've called my current boss a few choice things. To his face. Um, more than once. No tears with him though, though. Somehow I'm still employed? Go figure.
ouch! to his face! my work is pretty conservative-- I've only seen someone cry twice-- same girl, once when her dog passed away and then her mom. But then-- I'm not anyone's boss.
I left akwardly when I realized I was repeating myself. oh well... i only have to go back there to drop off my stuff.
I guess on some level, I feel like I failed. I can count on one hand the number of times that I've delivered something late, or refused to work late or in some way didn't come through on something that he asked me to do. I guess I feel like this is an admission that I just couldn't make it happen-- I said I'd come back on the first, and I'm not.
I guess on some level, I feel like I failed. I can count on one hand the number of times that I've delivered something late, or refused to work late or in some way didn't come through on something that he asked me to do. I guess I feel like this is an admission that I just couldn't make it happen-- I said I'd come back on the first, and I'm not.
Things change. You dealt with this very responsibly. If you had said you would meet up with a friend but you came down with something, or your mother needed your help through an illness, or your boiler blew and you had to wait for the repair guy, you'd call up your friend, apologize, and see if you could make alternate plans. And that's exactly what you did with your work. You made plans, you had every intention of meeting them, but things changed. Priorities shifted. It's ok. And you don't owe your work the same things you owe yourself and your family. Your work isn't going to take care of you when you're old. Your work doesn't love you. Well, I HOPE I'm saying words that would make you feel better, anyway. My father is very committed to his work, and I inherited that trait (uh, boss cursing aside... but he is NOT conservative, and frankly I am the only one who has been able to tolerate working for him but after many years I'm starting to break down myself), so I sympathize with your conscientious viewpoint. Sympathize, but think it should be adjusted just a tad so you don't feel bad :)
Thank you! No, I do feel better. I think it was mostly nerves, combined with lack of sleep and extreame pp hormones. There does seem to be some mix up, because I asked my boss when to drop off my stuff (laptop etc...) and he's still looking into a part time schedule for me.
I'm excited, but it's difficult, because I really don't know what i want. It's taken so much thought and sacrifice (both finiancially, and emotionally getting ready to leave that life behind temporarily) to get to the point to quit. I wish they had agreed to a part time/work from home schedule ages ago. I really don't know what to tell them.
Things change. You dealt with this very responsibly. If you had said you would meet up with a friend but you came down with something, or your mother needed your help through an illness, or your boiler blew and you had to wait for the repair guy, you'd call up your friend, apologize, and see if you could make alternate plans. And that's exactly what you did with your work. You made plans, you had every intention of meeting them, but things changed. Priorities shifted. It's ok. And you don't owe your work the same things you owe yourself and your family. Your work isn't going to take care of you when you're old. Your work doesn't love you. Well, I HOPE I'm saying words that would make you feel better, anyway. My father is very committed to his work, and I inherited that trait (uh, boss cursing aside... but he is NOT conservative, and frankly I am the only one who has been able to tolerate working for him but after many years I'm starting to break down myself), so I sympathize with your conscientious viewpoint. Sympathize, but think it should be adjusted just a tad so you don't feel bad :)
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