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Chatty Queers Unite!

post #1 of 342
Thread Starter 

Argg, signed in under the wrong girl!

post #2 of 342


I wanted to start a thread for all the queers to hang out.  


Pictures, general queer conversation, all that stuff.  


To start us off with a question of the day, what's your favorite queer parenting story so far?  Did some nurse think your partner is your sister lately?  Have you been set up on a date with the opposite sex despite being happily married?  Has anyone asked if you're the grandmother of your child because they just can't figure your family out?  Did your kid come home asking how anyone could get pregnant by accident, since you have to do all that pesky ordering of sperm?


What's going on in your world today?


For those of you who don't know me, I'm Seraf.  Baba to an 8 year old and a 5 year old.  One on the way.  Partnered to SmilingSara. We live in middle of nowhere Ohio with a dog and a turtle.


Have y'all done that crunchy quiz?

post #3 of 342
Thanks, Seraf! Hopefully this will work... I've seen forums elsewhere that do something like this.

I scored 132 on the crunchy quiz... I didn't realize how crunchy I actually am! orngbiggrin.gif
post #4 of 342

Thanks Seraf for the new thread. I took the crunchy quiz - 62. I am a newbie.


QOTD - We had a moron ask us at DS's wrestling tourney if DP was my sister, then when we said 'no', they asked if she was my MOTHER!!! She's 3 years older, seriously? 


Today in my world - I took a 3 hour nap because the preggo fatigue is kicking my ass. And I am waiting for the late night tornadoes that we're supposed to get. Argh!


Library - I hope you guys are safe from all the OK storms.


wave.gif Everyone.

Edited by 2ezforyou - 4/17/11 at 9:21am
post #5 of 342
Thread Starter 

Hey look, I started a thread! I got a 146 on the quiz. People ask if Sara and I are sisters all the time. The best reaction from Sara was at my super Christian friends wedding. Sara said "that would be wrong" and just walked away laughing because that was all there was to do! I was drunk, so I just laughed. We used to get asked that like once a week, now it's once a month or so.

Edited by smilingsara - 4/14/11 at 7:06pm
post #6 of 342

PS - - - I think I am having my first round of "cravings": bananas and jalapenos. Odd, I know. headscratch.gif

post #7 of 342
Ok I feel freakish, I got a 190 and I didn't even count Ari's birth. I love that the cheapest option is always the crunchiest. I think that's why I scored so high. We only made 7 k the year Osh was born. Of course I made my own slings and didn't buy diapers or bottles or formula.

Totally unrelated to queerdom, we took a 5 mile bike ride today and Sara got a flat 4 miles from home. I got to ride home to grab the car and ride back to pick everyone else up. I couldn't find the bike rack so we had to squeeze 4 people and 2 bikes in a yaris!

Hope y'all have a great weekend.
post #8 of 342

Sara- I love that the kids call you baba!  Lennon calls Chels bossie and he decided baby H should call her baba!


I took the quiz and got 129, sounds about right.  I am mildly crunchy,Chels isn't at all but she is going along for the ride. I love when one of her friends are over and I hear her saying "we don't use paper towels, there are cloth napkins in the 2nd drawer!" It makes me want to squeeze her.

post #9 of 342
Whew! 45. Am I even allowed to still hang out here? smile.gif I think the score is lower if you don't already have kids, right? At least, I hope so...
post #10 of 342

Prettyisa: you stay. Kick me off. I scored 44 AND I live in the Bay Area right next to Berkeley. Something's wrong here. Peace.gif

post #11 of 342
Originally Posted by prettyisa View Post

Whew! 45. Am I even allowed to still hang out here? smile.gif I think the score is lower if you don't already have kids, right? At least, I hope so...

I found that becoming a parent (versus my long, obsessive process of planning to become a parent...) made me crunchier than I expected to be in some ways, and less crunchy in others. For example, when I first had DD, I lived in an apartment without my own washer/dryer, and if you'd told me I'd end up cloth diapering, I would have howled with laughter. But for me, all it took was one trash bag full of disposables to realize that that didn't feel right for me, and I found a way to make cloth work. In fact, I became so obsessed with cloth diapering that we ended up making a bunch of dipes ourselves! (And we are not a naturally crafty people!) Likewise, with breastfeeding, I'd had a breast reduction years ago, and knew that I might have issues BFing. Before DD arrived, I didn't think I really cared one way or the other how she ate. However, once she arrived, I couldn't bear to give her formula, and went to some epic lengths (including driving all over New England for donor milk and basically living on a breast pump for ten months) to keep her mostly breastmilk fed.


On the other hand, before DD's arrival, I imagined that I'd want to co-sleep for as long as imaginable. We never bothered to buy a crib, even. However, after a few months of bed-sharing, I realized it wasn't really working for me, and we moved her into her own crib, and eventually into her own room.


I'm a big fan of following your gut on parenting- if it works for you and your family, that makes it a great choice for you and your family.:)


post #12 of 342

I think the lower your score the more you should be here so we nuts can rub off on you!


I got a crap ton of points around nursing.  We tried really hard to get my kids to accept a bottle, but they would have none of it.  They nursed with their other mom and a couple of friends since they would eat nothing else.  They nursed for years each, so of course I was tandem.  You really can't know what you're going to do until it happens, tho.  I didn't expect to tandem, but neither he nor I was ready to wean.  He had food issues and even now is in the 5th percentile.  Anything he would eat was better than nothing.  I totally plan on tandem nursing next time, that's part of the reason Sara's trying to get pregnant now, so we can both nurse and all that fun stuff.   And I think co-sleeping rocks.  I have no qualms with Ari still co-sleeping.  She snores like a buzz saw, but I think that's rather endearing.


It's funny, if I had filled out the quiz when my kids were tiny and I ate better and shaved less I would have gotten 220.  I never thought I was crunchy, tho.


Angela, I love that your daughter is named Ocean.  Everyone thinks Osha is spelled Ocea because, apparently they think I'm a bigger hippie than I am.


MizYellow, why does he call her bossie???  I love the name Baba, just because when we're at the playground and I hear MOM MOM MOM MOM! I know no one is calling for me!  I also think it's kind of funny that they don't call their mama "Mama" anymore.  So everyone is called by first names and I'm the only one with a special title anymore.  




Here is a random picture of my kids.  I love showing them off.  The one in the red shirt is Ari and the one in red pants is Osha.  The boy has him some hair.

post #13 of 342

Seraf- God what I wouldn't do for that hair! Boys get all the luck. Lennon has these eyelashes for days, I would have to wear falsies to achieve that look. (and we all know THAT isn't happening)


Angela- I am with you on the go with your gut. I nursed Lennon to hell and back due to health issues (his) and through that discovered my overwhelming adoration for all things breastmilk. I never ever ever thought I would cosleep and he still sleeps with us 3/7 nights a week. (he chooses the nights). I never even contemplated a natural birth until I had  an epidural and realized I wanted a calm beautiful experience for my next little one. ( Although i tend to run on the high strung side so we will see  about calm ;)


I will share a picture too,cause my kid is cute. Really freaking cute.


post #14 of 342
Thread Starter 
I answerd those questions for when there is a baby here! Is that cheating?! But that's what I plan on having happen, and I don't really see not breast feeding or doing ec.

Mizyellow: what a cute guy! Can't wait for the zoo with you guys
post #15 of 342

121!  About as crunchy as I thought I'd be. 


Lost points on tandeming and CL weaning though.  I'd love to tandem, and nurse until DS wants to stop, but we only have one vial of his donor, and the donor has left the program so we can't get more.  We just can't risk losing our only chance at a full sibling by TTC when my fertility could be reduced. greensad.gif


Originally Posted by 2ezforyou View Post


QOTD - We had a moron ask us at DS's wrestling tourney if DP was my sister, then when we said 'no', they asked if she was my MOTHER!!! She's 3 years older, seriously? Morons of the south strike again.



I have a story that's kinda like that.  I was at a La Leche meeting, and it was almost over.  DW wasn't with me, but I had mentioned her during the meeting.  And then... my mother came by to pick me up (I have no car) and everyone thought she was DW!  


That, at least, was better than the time my little sister and I ran into an old neighbour, and she thought my sister was my wife.  My sister, btw, looks so much like me that the last time I ran into this neighbour she thought I was my sister.


...I seem to be having the opposite problem of everyone else.  I'm not sure whether I should be jealous or glad!

post #16 of 342

I scored 142 ... If I had answered the questions when I was a twenty-year-old poor, hairy, hippy hitch-hiking between communes, I would've score off the charts! 


One funny queer parenting story ... One of the guys at work asked me if I'd had a one night stand to get pregnant this time too.  We were walking up the steps to do a call for a hip fracture when he spouted off that gem.

Me: "What do you mean, 'this time too'?  I didn't last time!"

Him: "Oh, well, I just figured." 

Me: "Do you think that'd be cool with my partner, who I am MARRIED too?" 

Him, with a shrug: "Ah, I thought all your types were open to things like that." 

Me:  "WHAT?" 

Him:  "No?" 

Me:  "No!  We went to a fertility clinic, like pretty much all the other queers I know." 

Him:  "You said 'queer.'" 

Me:  "Yes?  I'm a queerly queer queer-itty queer." 

Him:  "I thought that word was a no-no." 

Me: "A one night stand while in a monogamous relationship is a no-no!"


And then the nice old man opened the door and we had to go in and do the call while all the while I wanted to call him on his shit is a royal way.



post #17 of 342

Only 76% crunchy for me, but some of the questions didn't accurately reflect anything~ like the one about the shoes.  I wear my Birkis most of the time when I'm just doing my own thing, but I have work shoes for work and fancy shoes for fancy times, so I feel slightly skewed. Still, it probably wouldn't have been that much higher. I mean, I do wear makeup etc (indeed I put on my mascara before going to the hospital to deliver Tiny Alice, even though I knew I'd be a sweaty nightmare eventually)...


Starling, I'm laughing a horrible, rueful laugh at your co-worker.  "all your types are open to things like that". Whew!!!    I don't think I have any stories that can top these, just a few times when people refer to DP as 'Your...um, your...um...friend"  Nothing too exciting there. 



post #18 of 342

Wait, Starling, you're not open to anything?  You don't want to risk STDs and, um, strange winkies?  I always point out that it's pretty hard to hit in one shot and even if I got drunk enough to do it once, I don't think I could do it every month until one took.  So, do you think when my kids go off to college I'm going to have to tell them to ask potential one night stands about their parentage for fear of hooking up with a half-sib?  That was on the news recently, someone met someone online dating and eventually they figured out that they were half-sibs.  I guess they would have liked to figure it out sooner in the relationship.


I actually had a co-worker offer to get me so drunk I "wouldn't remember anything" and then just put me in a room with someone (male, I'm certain) "clean."


Library, the shoe question makes total sense when you live around here.  There are lots of people who walk around in public barefoot.  Even when the weather is questionable.  I am surprised it didn't ask about dreads, now that I think of it.  You feel like a cow yet?  Baby Alice sleeping through the night yet?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, sorry, couldn't resist.


Kelmendi, wow, what a different world. 


New QOTD.  What are some songs that take you back to childhood?  Some songs that take you back to, well, whenever you came out?  What kind of music do you listen to now?


For me, I go back when I hear Pour Some Sugar On Me, Sweet Cherry Pie, Jeremy, Runaway Train, No Rain (ok, we were looking at a donor called Jeremy last night and that got me singing the song, which Sara was unfamiliar with, so I had to play them all for her today).  I came out to Dilate and a bunch of other Ani songs, tho Hit Me Baby One More Time was really popular then.  Now I listen to country mostly.  We really only get 2 radio stations here and the other one is NPR.  Sara introduced me to Tegan and Sara, so I listen to some of that, too.

Edited by seraf - 4/15/11 at 5:03pm
post #19 of 342

I scored 97 on the crunchy test, which is probably about right: somewhat crunchy but still into my subtle daily makeup and not crafty/patient enough to make my own stuff for baby; some co-sleeping; but LOTS of breastfeeding--we had a no more nursing party in the park for my DD when she turned 4.  But we did live in Berkeley then.  If this one wants to nurse for four years, it will be interesting to see how suburban midwesterners deal with it. 


MizYellow and Seraf: those are some super cute and spirited and fun-loving-looking kids!  I love it!  Seraf: both parents nursing sounds like HEAVEN to me.  It will never happen in my household, but I hope it does in yours and that you can tell us all about it so that I can appreciate it vicariously.  What fabulous flexibility and mutual bonding that would enable!  Wow. 


Off to curl up in bed with lots of pillows and a book while I have another hour or so to myself.  Nighty night, all!

post #20 of 342
EZ--I have a curry recipe that uses jalapenos AND bananas in it!

I scored a perfect 100! Since I haven't had a child, it is how I am assuming I will be.
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