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post #61 of 342

smilingsara -- it is indeed euros...it works out to about $8.80/gallon (although, we're in paris proper, and i think the prices here are quite high.)  i guess i know now why everyone here drives little cars!  that and the fact that you'd tear the sides off a big SUV driving down some of the teeny tiny streets. 

 

alphahen -- hiya!  i went to college in virginia and a lot of my family is there.  my little sis lives in the richmond area and a dear friend of mine is in lovely carytown,  and yeah, there's no way you could live there without a car.  even NoVA is impossible without some wheels of your own.  i go a bit crazy every time i go home to visit my parents because i'm so used to being able to walk or take public transport to the stores (and everywhere else, really).  at their place you'd get killed if you tried walking to the grocery store. 

 

monarchgrrl -- having a smaller car definitely makes it easier on the pocketbook!  $30/week is very reasonable.

 

ez -- i don't usually miss driving (i think i'd be too afraid to drive in paris...people are frakking crazy) but when you mentioned your jeep, it made me miss my old red wrangler...*sigh*.  volvos are great for safety.  sounds like a good vehicle for carting around your precious future cargo :)

 

 

post #62 of 342

I love this thread!

Things have been busy with mine and DW's vacation and Easter with the family but I'm going to try and catch up now.

 

Really funny queer story from our trip: We went to Gatlinburg, TN for a week. On our first day there we walked around town and decided to go up the space needle. We bought our tickets and while waiting for the elevator the girl behind the counter (she was about 16 or 17) tried striking up a conversation with us. She noticed our matching shoes and said she wanted a pair and then asked us if we were sisters. I told her we were partners (for some reason both DW and I find it difficult to say wife to strangers), there was a pause and then she asked us what we did for work. DW said she worked for Verizon and I said I worked in child care, another pause and kind of a strange look from the girl and then the elevator was there and we got on. Fast forward about 30min and we had just got off the elevator and were walking through the attached arcade and it hit me and I just started laughing. The poor girl thought we were business partners! DW and I laughed about this for the longest time, made the strange look she gave us make sense.

 

My dating story is nowhere as crazy or funny as any that you guys have posted but here goes: My sister's friend and her boyfriend decided to set me up with a guy they were friends with. So I find my self on a blind date with my sister and her boyfriend and her friend and her boyfriend and this guy who was supposed to be a perfect match. The guy barely spoke during the meal but when he did I learned that he enjoyed chewing tobacco, hunting, fishing, was a racist, and hated cats. Toward the end of the meal he went to the restroom and when he came back he announced that he accidentally used the mouthwash as soap. Later on when he was asked what he thought of the date he commented that the steak was good. Needless to say I never allowed myself to be set up again. J

 

No children yet so my funny poop story comes from when I was a nanny. I was giving the youngest, who was 2, a bath and he pooped in the tub. I had to get him out, drain the water, clean out the poop, clean the tub, and then but the baby back in and rewash him. His sisters thought it was hilarious and even called their parents to tell them what was going on. Looking back it was funny but I didn’t think so in the moment.

 

Ahh, gas prices… we are paying about $3.66 here in coastal NC. When we were in TN it was about $0.10 cheaper. I stay at home and luckily DW works about 2mi from home but we drive a SUV so it guzzles gas. I’ve decided to try my hand at being a crazy coupon lady in an attempt to help offset the cost of gas. However, the whole coupon thing confuses me cause I never seem to get my grocery bill down from $130 to $4. L

I think I got all the questions.  

post #63 of 342
Petrol is waaaaaayyy more expensive everywhere compared to the US....

So here, in Melbourne, Australia - a big city - we are currently paying about $6.50 for petrol. We do drive but not all the time. I will always walk or catch PT locally. DP works an hour away though and drives everyday. We hate it.
post #64 of 342

My funny poop story is when I was first a nanny at the young age of 18.. i was caring for a 2 week old baby and was changing his diaper.. when all of a sudden poo was flying everywhere.. I did not have another diaper under him. his mom luckily was there and she put her hand under him to catch all the poo.. It was gross!! And I am lucky enough to have another poop story .. My 2nd nanny job ( i was all of 20) I was caring for a one yr old boy .. it was my 3rd or so day.. and im walking down to his room, and all I smell was poop.. gross .... walked in and he had taken off his diaper and smeared poop everywhere.. in his hair.. all over the crib, walls, every where.. I was sooooo horrified and grossed out.. 

And my recent story ( and they are all BOYS) was the little guy I nanny for currently was Potty trained.. but holding poo for days.. so one day at nap .. he got out of the bed.. took off his diaper , went to the bathroom, pooped ON the floor.. not the potty... and painted walls.. .. He is 3 and knew better.... 

 

Gas here is 4.25 a gallon.. I have to drive for work.. and we are in the car often.. but mostly local stuff so I spend about 40.00 a week in my little toyota yaris..

 

 

post #65 of 342

CaNanny, what color Yaris do you have?  Mine's blue (tho my favorite thing about living in SF was that I didn't need a car).  I have an 86 mile round trip to work, but I only work 3 days a week.  I also spend 40-50 a week on gas.

 

QOTD: How do you feel about children of one sex dressing in ways that make it difficult for strangers to identify their sex accurately?  IE boys in pink, or with flare leg jeans or dresses/girls in blue or reptile themed clothes?  Hair?

 

 

post #66 of 342

QOTD: I fully intend to let DD wear any kinds of clothes she wants when she can pick her own, but since she's still a baby, I do dress her more girly in public, though I try to stay away from total pink overload. She has lots of boy clothes that she wears and we like them (monkeys, skulls, Sharks hockey), but I swear, no matter how girly the clothes, if she doesn't have a BOW in her hair, people on the street think she's a boy. It doesn't bother me because I think it's hard to tell on most babies, but it bothers DW for some reason, so she's usually in a bow out in public. I know...not very progressive of me. But I will say, I don't like it when little boys are dressed girly or have long hair and then the parents get offended if you say "she". Long hair on boys is common here. I like it fine, but don't get all mad if I assume "girl" at first glance. I can't help my social conditioning sometimes. lol.gif

post #67 of 342
Quote:
Originally Posted by seraf View Post

QOTD: How do you feel about children of one sex dressing in ways that make it difficult for strangers to identify their sex accurately?  IE boys in pink, or with flare leg jeans or dresses/girls in blue or reptile themed clothes?  Hair?

 

 

I would like to think I will be open to DD wearing whatever she wants when she's old enough to pick out what she wants to wear. She is already showing preferences for certain things so I'm sure this will come up fairly soon for us! I've been surprised how much both DP and I like putting "girly" clothes on DD. However, we also dress her in blue jeans and "boyish" shirts on a regular basis too. One thing I find confusing is that DD can be dressed totally in pink and people still refer to her as "he" or say "hi, little guy." I think people default to he or boy for most babies. Which is annoying in itself.

 

I've thought about if I'd feel different if I had a boy. It seems much more "acceptable" for girls to wear boys clothes than vice versa. If my son wanted to wear a dress I'm not sure what I'd do. I know I would be ok with it but I'm sure how I would feel about him facing criticism from others. I guess I'll have to wait and see if we have a son one day!
 

post #68 of 342

i have a white one.. i like it i can fit 3 car seats in there!!! I have racked up the miles though and will need to get a new car one of these days.. though its been a trooper for sure!!!

 

 

QOTD

 

I nanny for a boy who is 3 and he LOVES dresses and all things girly.. he wears his sisters leggings and loves glitter and razz.. He wears what he wants most days.. He had a rainbow unicorn b day party last weekend! He loves to wear princess dresses and he is confident! I do dress him in jeans and t shirts most of the time.. he is pretty chill about it..

 

I figure they are kids. let them have the confidence to wear what they want.. hoping it will create a stronger boy who is in touch with himself!!!!!

 

 

post #69 of 342

Hi guys,

 

It's been a while since I've frequented MDC, and I was glad to pop on here and see this "chatty" thread and catch up with some old names. Nice to "see" you all!

 

My four wild and sweet kiddos continue to grow like crazy (it's what they do best, I suppose); the twins (Luke and Jaz) are now 8, Zeb is 4.5, and Leo will be 2 at the end of June. My wife and I separated at the end of last summer, and are getting divorced. So I've been single-momming it for about 8 months now, which has been, at times, incredibly challenging, mostly due to the heartbreak of the situation. I had to learn how to do things like get all four kids to bed by myself, etc., but the logistical difficulties are really nothing in comparison to the emotional work of it all. I have the kids most of the time, and am still mostly a stay-at-home-mom, though I'm trying to start a practice as an IBCLC (lactation consultant) in my "free time." I never thought my family would look like this, I never thought my kids would have two homes to go with their two moms, I never thought I could survive all that we've been through in the past year+ and be remotely ok. But I'm generally managing to continue to find joy and to have hope and to love life, in the midst of grieving and figuring out how to make this all work. I wish I could share more about all of everything, but am trying to be respectful of everyone and keep the personal details off of the internet.

 

QOTD: I feel fine about my kids wearing whatever they want to wear (in regards to genderized clothing, not overall), and have mostly complied with letting them grow their hair long (I don't like hair in their faces, so I take issue with the growing-it-out process). I guess, if anything, I avoid dressing my boys in stereotypical "boy" clothing (I really prefer gender neutral, plain clothes), and probably would deem some of what they've worn over the years to be "too girly" for a theoretical girl child of mine. 8What's been fascinating (though not in an especially lovely way) as my biggest kids have gotten older, is watching them filter what they choose to wear based on the influence of their peers at school. Lukas was always very much enamored with pink when he was younger (in fact, he insisted upon wearing at least one pink item every day for a couple of years, and preferred to be head-to-toe in pink), and it's still one of his stated favorite colors. But he won't wear pink to school now, for fear of being laughed at. Jasper, on the other hand, was never especially "into" the "girly" stuff as a preschooler, but will happily wear pink/purple to school now in kind of a trend-setting sort of way (always wanting to stand out and push the envelope, that one). But Jaz is very much a "popular kid" who can get away with just about anything, whereas Luke is more wanting to blend in, doesn't want attention of any kind (positive or negative, he also refuses to wear anything he thinks a "cool boy" would wear) for what he's wearing.

 

I dress my babies in strictly gender-neutral clothing, and everyone has always assumed they were girls or asked specifically about their sexes. I've always taken it as a good sign that I wasn't dressing them in any obviously gendered way. It's never offended me in the least, and I don't bother to correct anyone unless it feels relevant (i.e. in response to: "Wow! Three boys and then you got your girl!" I might say, cheerfully: "They're all boys, actually.")

 

Glad to be back here.

 

:love

 

Lex

post #70 of 342

QOTD:  DS was born with a head full of hair, so he was she'd nonstop.  DD was bald so even in pink dresses she was he'd constantly.  All that said both my babies were dressed in soft pants, tights, and t-shirts.  All kinds of flowery pants.  My favorite pants were pink with red strawberries.  Now at 8, DS has hair midway down his back, and really no one corrects people when they she him. If someone hangs out with him long term they usually ask why we refer to "her" as "he."  When DD asks to cut her hair really short I warn her that she may be mistaken for a boy.  She says she thinks it's funny.  She wears a lot of hand me downs in both glitter and camo.  DS has certainly worn his share of dresses in public.  We do go places sometimes where men wear skirts, tho.  I don't think my kids really associate clothes with gender, they mostly go off hair styles, so even if DS knows the neighbor boys are boys, well, when they grow their hair out he refers to them as she.

 

CaNanny, what kind of car seats?  Forward or rear facing?  I need to get car seats, but the boosters are so wide I see problems with buckling.  

post #71 of 342


the only car seat configurations that work are: 3 sunshine Radian 85 They are not cheap.. but very safe and worth it.. you can fit 3 across both forward or rear.. you can put a baby as little as 5 lbs.. I have my 50 lb 5 yr old I nanny for in it ( still harnessed) and the 35 lb 5 yr old in it and the 25 lb 3 yr old in it.. I love these seats!!!!

 

I have also fit 2 of the sunshine kids with a infant car seat ( i usually do not use a base, because its easier) I can also fit 2 radians with a graco booster.. it takes some manuevering.. but it can work.. I prefer having all 3 radians in the car.. I even bought my own. so when DP and I have our baby we have great seats!!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by seraf View Post

QOTD:  DS was born with a head full of hair, so he was she'd nonstop.  DD was bald so even in pink dresses she was he'd constantly.  All that said both my babies were dressed in soft pants, tights, and t-shirts.  All kinds of flowery pants.  My favorite pants were pink with red strawberries.  Now at 8, DS has hair midway down his back, and really no one corrects people when they she him. If someone hangs out with him long term they usually ask why we refer to "her" as "he."  When DD asks to cut her hair really short I warn her that she may be mistaken for a boy.  She says she thinks it's funny.  She wears a lot of hand me downs in both glitter and camo.  DS has certainly worn his share of dresses in public.  We do go places sometimes where men wear skirts, tho.  I don't think my kids really associate clothes with gender, they mostly go off hair styles, so even if DS knows the neighbor boys are boys, well, when they grow their hair out he refers to them as she.

 

CaNanny, what kind of car seats?  Forward or rear facing?  I need to get car seats, but the boosters are so wide I see problems with buckling.  



 

post #72 of 342

I am pretty new here.. But wanted to just send you hugs.. and it seems like you are making the most out of a sad situation and you have 4 amazing kids to love!!!!!

Quotee
Originally Posted by lexbeach View Post

Hi guys,

 

It's been a while since I've frequented MDC, and I was glad to pop on here and see this "chatty" thread and catch up with some old names. Nice to "see" you all!

 

My four wild and sweet kiddos continue to grow like crazy (it's what they do best, I suppose); the twins (Luke and Jaz) are now 8, Zeb is 4.5, and Leo will be 2 at the end of June. My wife and I separated at the end of last summer, and are getting divorced. So I've been single-momming it for about 8 months now, which has been, at times, incredibly challenging, mostly due to the heartbreak of the situation. I had to learn how to do things like get all four kids to bed by myself, etc., but the logistical difficulties are really nothing in comparison to the emotional work of it all. I have the kids most of the time, and am still mostly a stay-at-home-mom, though I'm trying to start a practice as an IBCLC (lactation consultant) in my "free time." I never thought my family would look like this, I never thought my kids would have two homes to go with their two moms, I never thought I could survive all that we've been through in the past year+ and be remotely ok. But I'm generally managing to continue to find joy and to have hope and to love life, in the midst of grieving and figuring out how to make this all work. I wish I could share more about all of everything, but am trying to be respectful of everyone and keep the personal details off of the internet.

 

QOTD: I feel fine about my kids wearing whatever they want to wear (in regards to genderized clothing, not overall), and have mostly complied with letting them grow their hair long (I don't like hair in their faces, so I take issue with the growing-it-out process). I guess, if anything, I avoid dressing my boys in stereotypical "boy" clothing (I really prefer gender neutral, plain clothes), and probably would deem some of what they've worn over the years to be "too girly" for a theoretical girl child of mine. 8What's been fascinating (though not in an especially lovely way) as my biggest kids have gotten older, is watching them filter what they choose to wear based on the influence of their peers at school. Lukas was always very much enamored with pink when he was younger (in fact, he insisted upon wearing at least one pink item every day for a couple of years, and preferred to be head-to-toe in pink), and it's still one of his stated favorite colors. But he won't wear pink to school now, for fear of being laughed at. Jasper, on the other hand, was never especially "into" the "girly" stuff as a preschooler, but will happily wear pink/purple to school now in kind of a trend-setting sort of way (always wanting to stand out and push the envelope, that one). But Jaz is very much a "popular kid" who can get away with just about anything, whereas Luke is more wanting to blend in, doesn't want attention of any kind (positive or negative, he also refuses to wear anything he thinks a "cool boy" would wear) for what he's wearing.

 

I dress my babies in strictly gender-neutral clothing, and everyone has always assumed they were girls or asked specifically about their sexes. I've always taken it as a good sign that I wasn't dressing them in any obviously gendered way. It's never offended me in the least, and I don't bother to correct anyone unless it feels relevant (i.e. in response to: "Wow! Three boys and then you got your girl!" I might say, cheerfully: "They're all boys, actually.")

 

Glad to be back here.

 

:love

 

Lex



 

post #73 of 342

Nice to see you, lex! I was so sorry to hear about your family. I'm glad you are starting to adapt somewhat. I can't imagine how hard it must be. Welcome back and I hope to see you around here more often!

post #74 of 342

Lex, I missed your post!  I'm glad to see you.  I'm very sorry about your situation but glad you're coming through it.  I found myself newly single the day my family moved into an off grid tent on a construction site, the day I started working full time night shift.  Before Ari (5) turned 2.  I started coming back to MDC when we gave it up and moved to town.  I remember coming back and seeing your name and being thankful that your family was still together.  Having made it all the way through I will say that as hard as it is, you can still do it.  If you need someone to talk to, let me know.  The hair growing out thing, yeah, Osh wore a lot of barrettes.  Still does.  I joked about making boy-rettes, with bats and trucks and trains on them (not so he would feel more masculine, but so strangers would yell at me less).  Osha has never cared about what is cool, tho.  I don't think he even really understands the concept.

 

CaNanny, thanks for the carseat rec.  I'll have to check it out.  I know Ari's old carseat worked with the boosters, but I gave it to a family in need and have to find a new one (or 2 or 4 or something).

 

2 car families, do you have carseats in both cars?  Or is it like, this is the car the kids go in, and this is the commuter?  We are going to be in a situation where we have this baby (and hopefully Sara gets pregnant soon, so 2 babies) full time and the big kids half the week, so we have been talking about what we're going to do with the car thing once the family is too big for 1 car (but again, it will only be part time).  I need decide if we're going to keep 2 small cars and just rent something larger for trips, or if we're going to trade one of the cars in for something we can all fit in.

post #75 of 342

lex, it's good to hear from you although i wish it were under better circumstances.  i hope everything continues to get easier for you and the boys.  :)

 

we have clothes for our boys that some would consider "girly" and we have some diapers and wet bags that daycare has made comments about - seriously, they are just for catching pee and poop, who cares about the cloth pattern?  ds1 has the curliest hair you've ever seen - it has little tight curls and while i have curly hair too, it's not at all like his.  so we mostly keep it short because it tends to get crazy when long - like right now.  but he won't let us buzz it, so long it shall remain.  ds2 barely has any hair and it's very blonde and very fine.  we think that's hilarious given dp is 1/2 filipino and has black/brown thick hair.

 

gas here is moderately expensive.  we carpool to work/daycare and only live 11 miles from work, so our gas costs aren't too bad.  in scotland it was INSANELY expensive.  i filled the rental car up for a long trip we took and it was probably $80.  for a very small car.  yikes!

 

g

post #76 of 342

I'm so busy I don't have time to respond to all of the great questions on this thread, but wanted to pop in to send big hugs to Lex. I've been thinking about you, and while I understand the need for internet silence on certain matters, know that we're all here for you and want to support you in any way that we can. You are such an amazing mother, and I'm so sorry that you have had to deal with these unexpected transitions.

 

And, my kid seems to switch seamlessly between camo and pink frills. I feel like I've done something right...

post #77 of 342

Hello,

 

I appreciate this neutral space for posting--good idea.  I recognize so many names here from both semi-recent months on the ttc thread and also from my initial discovery of the ttc board in 2008 or so, when my DP and I first started throwing around the idea of having a child.  We've unsuccessfully tried for a babe 7 times over a two-year period, and now are homeopathically regulating my thyroid and raising my low vitamin D before attempting again.

 

QOTD: I spend so much time thinking about gendered clothing for children, partially because I am finishing a social justice education masters program that keeps me in touch with elementary-age students for much of my day, and also because I personally believe in clothing for kids (rather than boys or girls).  I really think it's rare for children to put on princess dresses during play in order to act out a strong role--of king, or skateboarder, boss, leader--or to put on intensely masculine clothing in order to look and feel pretty, to skip or frolic, to dance, to be a mama.  It's the secondary aspect of the clothing, the way I see it regulate and impact behavior, that doesn't sit well with me.  (I'd love to hear if this isn't the case for those of you whose children do transition from camo to skirts, etc. well.)  

 

Obviously, I am only prepping my clothing stash for my future child(ren), but I plan to keep clothing gender-neutral for as long as possible, and probably lean slightly more toward traditionally deemed "boyish" colors for a girl babe, and so on.  I have lots of stripe-y playsuits and sweaters--and a few pink pieces that I would readily use for a boy and hesitantly put on a girl.  It's at the point for me now that I'm starting to sew non-gender specific upcycled baby and kids clothing, and am making plans for an organic plant-dyed line to sell at a local kids store...an unexpected side-effect of being immersed in the gender binary elementary classroom.  

 

Lex:  My single mama friends have the most amazing relationships with their kids.  I hope things even out for you in good time.

 

Seraf:  Was your off-grid tent in Ohio?  How did you keep warm in winter?  I lived for a few years in a tiny yurt--but had a woodstove for heating in the rainy winter months.

 

Good to hear from you all.  Oh, Librarylady--Alice is divine...I love her little cleft chin.

 

 

post #78 of 342

Lex ... Great to see you, Mama!  You and your beautiful family have shaped my growing family in more ways than you could possibly imagine.  And I still have bike envy when it comes to you!  Wonderful to have you around the 'hood again.  I've been thinking about you and your kids a lot since you and your wife separated.  grouphug.gif

 

QOTD:  We didn't find out the gender indication for DD, so when we were acquiring baby items, we kept it strictly gender neutral.  Once she was born and the world got word about her vagina, the pink onslaught began.  At first, I really bucked it.  I really wanted her not to be squished into a stereotyped corner.  But, ultimately, our frugality won.  We are so appreciative when we're given clothes by the grandmas, one of whom is an ardent feminist and happily plays along with our wishes (she knitted DD a tiny pair of wool work socks to match the ones DP always wears),but the other two cannot seem to buy anything remotely un-girlified.  I would like to think that I'd let a boy child wear whatever he darn well wanted.  But again, we will be dressing our kids in the clothes the grandmas and aunties pick out for a long time, so that's really what dictates the look in our house.  I draw the line at branded characters and inappropriate sayings on shirts, etc though.  DD does wear a lot of boy clothes too (thanks to a hand-me-down connection) and often looks like a little surfer dude with her super long blonde hair.   Whenever the laundry is done, she goes into the more boyish clothes by choice and then ends up in the pinks when it's nearly laundry day.

 

And seeing as how we've been sharing photos, here are some that show her typical gender-neutralish style.  Sorry if the pics are huge ... I'm not very savvy that way.

 

When DD was tiny.  The wee work socks my mom knitted, and the blanket she also knitted (from her hand-spun, hand-dyed wool, for any fibre arts nerds out there)

socks.jpg

 

With her best buds, Charlie (the dog) and Zephyr (her cat-shaped dog):

IMGP4151.JPG

 

Playing with the dog food while camping:

IMGP3619.JPG

 

 

Those are footie jammies shoved into her crocs.  She loves that.

IMGP3627.JPG

 

More knitted goodness from my mom.  The next babe will wear that hat too, boy or girl.

IMGP4126.JPG

 

 

post #79 of 342

Rainbow, the tent was in Ohio, we gave up and moved back to town when it got cold.  I pushed for a yurt, but not hard enough, I suppose.  I sure do love yurts, tho.  Thinking about building a larger one for camping, but have yet to get around to it.

 

Starling, she is darling.  I have a hard time finding gender neutral clothes for older kids.  And hand me downs usually win out.  Sara likes to shop, so she picks out most of the kids' clothes that are purchased (thrift store).  I make some random clothes for them, like bandana shorts and pajamas.

post #80 of 342

This thread is a great idea ! A place for everyone, TTC, pregnant and everyone else ! I guess I am now in thst "everyone else" category lol. thumbsup.gif

 

For those I dont know, I am the mommy of twin girls born last january. My DP carried them and I may carry another child if we decide to go that route someday. Right now, we are very busy caring for our 3 months old girls and are very happy.

 

Starling : your daughter is beautiful :)

 

Lex, It is nice to see you... I am sorry about what happened... I followed your family on your blog for years and I was very concerned when you stopped blogging... Take good care of you and do keep coming around :)

 

As for me, I gotta brag... Our girls have been sleeping through the night most nights for a week ! Wheeeeeee !!

 

Gotta go, baby calls !!

 

Coco

xx

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