How much should I prepare?

[JoyFilled]

I am 23 weeks along with my current pregnancy.  My DD just turned 2.  She was 10 pounds 6 ounces with a head size of 97% and 2 weeks over due when she was born.  My water broke Thursday morning, I was induced Friday morning, fever Friday night, I never got past 3 cm.  After several hours of heavy induction DD was born via c-section Saturday morning.

I had a midwife. Her and the OB were very much like "this is your choice", "you can keep going but nothing is happening" they really left it up to me but after 5 hour of heavy induction and no change in cm, and DD not descending, it seemed very logical to me that a c-section was the right choice.  DD came out green - covered in meconium.  I saw her briefly and then she was taken for x-rays and tests.  It was about 6 hours before I held her - that is probably the hardest part.

Overall, I don't feel bad about my birth experience.  I feel that it was my choice.  I feel that it was the right choice.

For this child I feel that I could go either way.  Our midwife is off for an undetermined amount of time so I only see doctors.  Our hospital here is very VBAC friendly and nursing friendly.  The OB that is probably on when I am due delivers breach, twins and is very pro natural birth.

I prefer a VBAC.  From what I have read here being prepared for it mentally is the key to success.   But I think that I was able to accept the c-section the first time so well since I didn't have firm plans about birthing.  (Although the concept of a c-section really never occurred to me ahead of time.)

Do you think I should prepare myself as much as possible for a VBAC?  Or just go with the flow and see what happens?

[jenniro]

My advice has a story, so bear with me.  I really wanted a VBAC, wanted a VBAC, but didn't educate myself or prepare myself for a VBAC, just thought it would happen.  My doc did VBACs so it would just happen, right? Just like when I told my OB I wanted a natural childbirth for my first baby, and thought that would just happen as well.  Now I've had 2 c-sections.

They have been really traumatic because I wanted to give birth so badly and was really disappointed when it didn't happen.  I realize I have to take some responsibilty for that, so I am researching the hell out of VBA2C, and have decided to homebirth, yea!  So, the first part of my advice is, yes, absolutely, prepare and inform yourself as much as possible for a VBAC b/c that is what you prefer.

The second part of my advice is, yes, absolutely, go with the flow.  I think my birth experiences were so traumatic, partly b/c of my expectations.  So, this time I am prepared for what I want, but I also realize there is only so much I can control, so if I end up with a 3rd c-section, I will be at peace. 

[Ms. B. Sprout]

I totally agree with jenniro's post!

I also had a "failed" VBAC attempt. I prepared for my VBAC to some extent -- lots of research, hired a doula (which I also had for my first "failed" attempt at natural birth), some chiro, some but not a ton of spinningbabies exercises. I also had my heart set on it, and my heart was broken after I had a c/s for malposition after a long and very difficult labor.

Now I am planning an HBA2C, and I have a different perspective. My motto is: I cannot control birth, but I can create optimal conditions for avoiding another c/s.

So this time around I am doing lots of chiro, spinningbabies exercises every day, walking a ton, eating right, birthing at home (fingers crossed for no transfer!!), and other things to create optimal conditions.

Like jenniro, I would say yes, you need to prepare. And yes, you need to also go with the flow. Because as much as we'd like to think we can control outcomes with diligent preparations, we can't. All we can do is create optimal conditions and then roll the dice and see what happens.

Good luck be with you as you walk this path!

[JoyFilled]

Thank you both for your replies.  They both make sense.  My life is calming down right now and I am getting some more time to focus on a good birth.