1yo & 2.5yo fighting in their carseats - help?

[curiouscanadian]

I've currently got a 1yo & a 2.5yo (both RFing) in our Honda Civic, so there is no possible way to move them further apart. The problem is the 1yo (I'll call him A) starts waving his arms, 2.5yo DS thinks A is trying to hit him and starts hitting him back! Or reaches over and pinches A. Or tries to kick him (DS's legs are long enough for this).

I tried putting a pillow on the seat between them...aaand...they fought over the pillow!!!    

Now, I do have to admit we're having, er, issues even at home with DS's aggression towards A but in the car I'm busy driving. How do I keep A injury-free and myself sane? So far I've aborted trips, warned DS that if he keeps up his behaviour we won't be able to go anywhere interesting in the car, pulled over and waited for the behaviour to stop before continuing (which BTW really didn't seem to register at all with DS). Today I ended up reaching back and lightly holding DS's wrist whenever he started to lash out and while it seemed to be effective, it's really not a safe practice. Anyone have any other ideas? HELP!?!!

[Bird Girl]

That is so tough--neither of them are really old enough for self-control or consequences. Could you try a little bribery, perhaps? I would put something that your older child really, really wants (Heck, I would even use something like a cookie!) in his view but out of his reach. Then, if a fight starts, you could say, "If you keep your hands on your lap/in your own seat for the WHOLE RIDE, then you get the cookie as soon as your buckle comes off!" For a 2.5 year old, that treat would have to be IN VIEW and you'd have to remind him of it constantly, but it might work.

Hang in there. In six months or so, I'm sure they'll have given up on the car seat fight--but will have something all new to drive you crazy about!