Tooth brushing battles

[pranava]

Help!  I'm about to give up!  DS 24 months is not capable of really brushing his own teeth.  He sucks all the toothpaste off the brush and chews on it a little.  I tell him how to do it, show him how, brush my teeth with him, let him brush my teeth, but I end up having to brush his teeth for him to accomplish anything.  This ends in a horrible screaming struggle while I restrain his arms.  I've tried singing, tickling him to get him to open his mouth, telling him stories about how I'm getting all the germs and sticky food off his teeth - he hates it all.  I can do a better job with the finger brush, but he bites my finger soooooo hard!!!!  I tried with his toothbrush yesterday and he struggled, bit his lip which made him cry and bleed. 

Should I just let him chew on the toothbrush and demonstrate the brushing motion until he gets it?  Will his teeth rot out of his head before they fall out naturally if I don't try harder?  Anyone tried an electric toothbrush for a 2 year old?  Any other ideas?

[4evermom]

Electric toothbrushes can be fun.  At least it is moving if you can get it in his mouth.  I think the thing to do is to try to get in there and do a quick brush without getting into a struggle.  Sometimes, it would work to brush my ds's teeth while he was distracted by watching a video or doing something else.  Dh would ape around to distract him and make him laugh, sometimes.  For a while, we video taped ds getting his teeth brushed.  I'd flip the screen toward him so he could watch as it taped.  He thought that was cool.  Try not to make a big deal of going into the bathroom to brush teeth if he's resistant.  You can put a dab of toothpaste on the brush and go to wherever he is so he isn't being taken away from what he is doing.  You can tell him about what you are going to do right after teeth are brushed, which isn't giving him rewards (which can backfire over time) but just keeping his focus on something nice.  You can say "as soon as we are done brushing, it will be time to ___" much like you might say "As soon as we put on our shoes we can go outside and play."

[DevaMajka]

Ds1's dentist says that parents need to brush their kids' teeth until...I actually don't remember the age, but WAY older than 6yo (which ds1 is now). I've also read that parents need to brush teeth until the kids can write in cursive.

With ds1, toothbrushing was a battle, and I'm pretty sure it was traumatizing for both of us. I tried so so so hard to make it agreeable, but I think it caused even more stress. In the end, he had lots of cavities (starting at 18 mos, so I don't think brushing would have helped), so brushing wasn't an option. I ended up holding him down to brush every time, because EVERYTHING else just made it worse. (I held him down with his head between my legs and his arms under my legs, with his feet heading the same direction my legs were).

With ds2, I just started holding him down in a "this has to get done, it's no big deal" type of way. He's cried a couple of times, but I sing and "chew" on his toes (which cracks him up), and he's fine with it. There are even times that I say we're all done, and he lays back down and holds onto my legs and opens his mouth for me to brush some more.

I think that with ds1, I made it a big deal. I was so worried that he wouldn't "let" me brush his teeth, and I was so worried about causing him the tiniest bit of unhappiness, that it became a huge issue.

I don't know what my advice is, really, but I was always opposed to holding kids down and doing anything against their will. However, toothbrushing is WAY easier on ds2 than it was on ds1. (notice I didn't say it was easier for me, it's easier on ds2- it's not as upsetting for him).

[AndtheStars]

I came today just to ask this question!  DS (20 mos) is fighting me so hard on the teeth brushing thing lately and I'm at the end of my rope.  For some reason, this is huge trigger for me to want to yell.  He will take the toothbrush and chew on both sides in the back but flat-out refuses to brush the front teeth or let me or DH do it.  I can see the plaque on the fronts if I just let it slide and it grosses me out.  I end up holding him down while he screams to brush the fronts and I get mad and he gets mad.  It's just awful.  I really don't want this to be a battle.  OP, I really don't have any suggestions, just sympathy and commiseration.  Maybe we'll try an electric toothbrush?  I do let him bite into whole apples which helps remove some of the plaque from the fronts.  I've tried rubbing with a damp washcloth too which helps but also causes screaming though marginally less than actual toothbrushing.  Maybe I'll push the washcloth thing in the bath?  That has to be better than nothing, right?  Wow, I'm sorry this is so scattered.  Maybe Friday afternoon at work isn't the best time to MDC.    

[treegardner]

Our pedi dentist said the parent should still be brushing the child's teeth until at least 6 and longer if the child can't/won't do a good enough job on their own. DS had a lot of dental problems sue to demineralization so for us we have to hold him down and brush his teeth. I hate doing it and it's a twice a day battle, but he's already had dental surgery once where is had to be put under. I'd rather hold him down and suffer through that twice a day then have to go through dental surgery again.

 

[Halfasianmomma]

I've had to brush DD's teeth since she was 9 months old because she had decay on her teeth very early. She had surgery to fix her 8 cavities when she was about 15 months old. The surgery itself was traumatic enough to convince me that there was no way to get around not brushing her teeth several times a day. When she was younger, we used the knee to knee position, which you can see on this website:

http://dentalhealth.vch.ca/images/knee_pam.jpg

DD would really struggle so I would often have to put my finger inside her mouth, on the side, between her gums in the back to prevent her from biting me.

As she got older, she started to understand that there was simply no way around the tooth brushing.

Now, at the age of 33 months, she quietly sits while I brush her teeth for her. We have invented a tooth brushing song: We see "Halleluyah!" repeatedly which gives me access to her back teeth a lot. Then we change it to "EEElleluyah" so I can work on her front teeth.

[limabean]

Age 2 is when both my kids started to throw fits about toothbrushing. For both of them, a sticker chart worked like magic. Each night that they let us brush their teeth without throwing a fit, they'd get a sticker on the chart, and after a certain number of stickers they'd earn a prize. We'd keep an old coffee can or something in the bathroom, filled with small toys that they could choose from. They earned their first prize on the first night so that they got the idea, then we started spacing out the prizes. DD (who is almost 3) still uses her chart, but at this point she only gets a prize once every 2-3 weeks. 

[dawncayden]

Ds1 also had dental surgery at a young age to fix his front teeth. I hadn't wanted it to be a battle so I had let him brush his own teeth and never forced brusing. It wasn't a great idea because surgery was so traumatic for us all. I had to start holding him down to brush. Luckly, the holding him down didn't last too long and I would give him the choice of letting me brush while he was sitting on my lap or we could lie down with me pinning him. He would always choose the lap way (of course).

With ds2, it was so different. From the beginning, I would always get in there to brush properly. If he wouldn't let me then I would say, 'well we need to lie down then', and usually he'd let me.

Both boys (age 2 and 5) both get a turn to brush their own teeth, and then I 'check'. We've used mechicanical brushes or just character ones. I find it really helps if they can pick out a toothbrush that will get them excited to brush their teeth. Lights up? cool. Vibrates? cool. Spiderman? cool. Has floaty toys inside the handle? cool. 
 

Originally Posted by Halfasianmomma 

I've had to brush DD's teeth since she was 9 months old because she had decay on her teeth very early. She had surgery to fix her 8 cavities when she was about 15 months old. The surgery itself was traumatic enough to convince me that there was no way to get around not brushing her teeth several times a day. When she was younger, we used the knee to knee position, which you can see on this website:

http://dentalhealth.vch.ca/images/knee_pam.jpg

DD would really struggle so I would often have to put my finger inside her mouth, on the side, between her gums in the back to prevent her from biting me.

As she got older, she started to understand that there was simply no way around the tooth brushing.

Now, at the age of 33 months, she quietly sits while I brush her teeth for her. We have invented a tooth brushing song: We see "Halleluyah!" repeatedly which gives me access to her back teeth a lot. Then we change it to "EEElleluyah" so I can work on her front teeth.

[DevaMajka]

Originally Posted by dawncayden 

Ds1 also had dental surgery at a young age to fix his front teeth. I hadn't wanted it to be a battle so I had let him brush his own teeth and never forced brusing. It wasn't a great idea because surgery was so traumatic for us all.
 

Same here- ds1's dentist visit/cavity filling was WAY WAY more traumatic for him that when I hold ds2 down to brush his teeth. I definitely do the cool fancy toothbrushes, we let ds2 use the electric brush, etc etc. Sometimes when I offer a choice of standing up to brush his teeth, or laying down between my legs, he chooses to lay down. I think he actually likes it- he gets to put his toes in my mouth. lol. 

[atlantafemme]

We have an assortment of toothbrushes (including an electric one) for our 22-month-old, which helped, but the thing that worked best of all is this video I found on Youtube of a whale getting his teeth brushed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhPxE2g8iD0 We watched it a few times and he was delighted by it. Now every night, I ask my DS to show me how a whale brushes his teeth. I let him do a little himself and then I say, "Ok, open up like the whale so Mommy can make sure you got everything." Then I brush as much and as long as he'll let me. I also make up silly songs while I'm doing it. 

Edited by atlantafemme - 4/16/11 at 6:37am

[D_McG]

Both of mine like the flashing toothbrushes. Beyond that I didn't go crazy with the distractions. I think it would have just fed into their anxiety honestly. Tooth brushing is non-negotiable. If they kick and scream then that's what happens. It's maybe 90 seconds, they'll survive.

I'd rather restrain a child for a tooth brushing than a root canal.

[Gretchen_PDX]

Thank you for this thread. Our 18mo hates getting his teeth brushed and we totally slack on doing it. I didn't realize such little kids could need dental surgery- this is the scare I need to get motivated to actually pin him down for a good brushing!

[Vegan Princess]

A sticker chart has really helped with my 2 yr old. And also letting her brush my teeth after she lets me brush hers (with my tooth brush). She still puts up a fight a decent amount of time though.

Cindy