How do you handle it when situations like this come up? Like one twin wants to be involved in something or go somewhere without the other twin, or has a friendship that doesn't include the other twin, or even something as simple as one twin just wants to play/read/nap alone, and doesn't want the other one to join in. We're struggling a lot with this. DD2 seems to be developing into a naturally introspective, kinda solitary person. I love it-- she reminds me of myself, and it's not extreme or worrisome at all. She just has a high need for alone time. Her twin, on the other hand, is like my DH--- he has a negative need for personal space. He wants constant interaction, constant socialization, constant conversation. And he's driving DD2 crazy. (Sometimes it drives me crazy, too, so I totally get how she feels.) She's handled it well overall-- she says things like, "please, DS, I just want to play by myself right now." But he pushes and pushes, and then she loses her temper and snaps at him, and he feels hurt, and goes to pieces. Lately he's been saying things like, "Ray-ray doesn't love me anymore," and it just cracks my heart in two. And last week she was invited on an outing with a friend she made in her ballet class, and DS wasn't asked to go, and he cried and cried.
I think of them like a cat and a puppy. DD2 is the cat, and DS is the puppy.
If anybody has dealt with these kinds of situations, I'd love to hear about your experiences. I'm struggling with how much to intervene and what exactly to say or do. I have the feeling that this is going to be something we're going to struggle with for a long time.
Edited to add: they're four years old.