After homeschooling

[DharmaDisciple]

I will be 48 when my youngest reaches college age and dh would like me to then go out to work. I have no skills as I have devoted my life to homeschooling my kids. Can you start a career that late? What does anyone else plan to do and how old will you be? I have thought about Montessori teacher training. The idea of this in 10 years is freaking me out *stress*

Mods if this is in the wrong forum can you move it please xx

[Ravin]

Yes, you can start a career that late, says the woman starting law school next fall at age 33. My mom found herself divorced and having to start a new career around your age, though she hadn't been out of the workforce as long as you perhaps have. You probably have more skills than you realize. I suggest sitting down with a career counselor and analyzing what you can do (whether you've had formal training in it or not) and how to put it on a resume. Also look at careers you might like to go back to school for yourself once your youngest hits high school or so, so that once the nest is empty you'll be raring to go. If you'd like to teach other people's children, montessori and/or education certification may be the route you want to go with. Tutoring is another possibility, one for which teacher cert would be helpful but not necessary given your homeschooling background.

[MrsJewelsRae]

What does anyone else plan to do and how old will you be?

My youngest is 2, assuming I don't have anymore children, I would be 47 when he graduates high school at age 18.  I got married young and don't have any post sec ed.  Regardless, my plan is to continue being a homemaker and spend more time volunteering.  :)  Dh is happily supportive of this.

[broodymama]

I'm more than a little worried about that myself.  I was a nuclear engineer before I stopped working before DS1 was born in 2004, I was 28 then. DS2, my 4th child, was born when I was just shy of 35 so I'll be around 51 when he's ready for college.

I don't know if I'll go back into the same career field, if I do then I'll need some serious refresher courses. I may go for a complete career change but I'm not sure yet. The whole prospect is very stressful here also. 

[DharmaDisciple]

Dh may well let me stay at home as a homemaker if I can persuade him, I will just have to come up with ideas with him why this is best for me, I have to work on the reasons why he should be at work earning for both of us when I no longer have the children to justify that.

I love the idea of Montessori teaching, they do it via correspondence for 2 yrs with an 11 day workshop so that is doable then I can get a job in a nursery failing that I may just end up in a bookshop as dh suggested.

[MamaRhi]

I'm a homemaker and plan to still be one when I am no longer homeschooling my kids. I have a college degree but a lot of good it has done me. My ex-dh pressured me to finish college while raising babies and always wanted me to go to work but never was supportive of that reality. (I enjoyed college, but you can't pay off the loans as a homemaker.)

My current partner (DBF?) totally sees the value of someone being at home to take care of the house, tend the garden, take care of anyone who is sick and manage the finances and household stuff while he is off working to earn the money. He enjoys his job and makes good money/ has good benefits and it saves us money to have me at home. Even once the kids have moved out, I still do the cooking, gardening, animal care, finances, etc. It's what I do and I enjoy it. I'll be 43 when my youngest turns 18, I believe, but I'd also like to have one more baby. That would make me at least 52 when that one hits 18. At that point I won't have the energy for a career. I'll just knit and sew more than I have time to do now.

Are the kids really all you take care of all day? What else do you do while you're at home that your DH doesn't have time for? How much might it cost to pay someone else to do those tasks? It may just take looking at your daily tasks from a different perspective.

[happysmileylady]

Of course you can start a career that late, people do it all the time.  My grandfather graduated college with his electrical engineering degree at 45.  He's 83, and has only just in the last few years stopped working completely.  And that's not because of financial issues regarding retirement or anything like that, he just enjoyed it that much.  He retired long before that, like at 65, I think, but he still worked, with the same company after retirement as a "consultant."  IOW, he was the guy in charge who made all the real decisions but he let some young kid fresh out of school have the title and feel important lol.

Having said that....going to work doesn't necessarily mean starting a career.  You could go get some fluff job that is fun, but doesn't give you any sorts of real responsibility either.  You could get some retail job that would give you a discount at your favorite store, get a part time ticket taker job at the children's museum so you get employee discounts for your (future) grandkids, that sort of thing.  Jobs and careers aren't the same thing and there's no reason to invest time and effort into developing a career if it's your family, kids and future grandkids that really fulfills you.  That doesn't mean get a job you hate, you can certainly still enjoy your job and still have it be a job. 

I do have to address the "DH may well LET me" bit.  It shouldn't be about him "letting" you stay home after the kids move out.  It should be about the two of you discussing your goals for once the kids leave.  He should be identifying why he wants you to work, you should be identifying why you want to stay home, and the two of you should be coming up with plans and goals for when that happens.  Are you positive you are even going to want to stay home?  If you have no kids to take care of, no house to clean (ie if there's just you and your DH and he's gone all day, who's going to be home to mess it up?) what ARE you going to do?  That should be part of the discussion too.