Originally Posted by sapphire_chan
When your friend calls, stop everything (except caring for your own baby) and sit in a chair either nursing your baby or holding the baby-weight object for at least 10 minutes. Every three times, go ahead and turn off the baby crying tape.
What? I get to SIT. No way, lol.
CM, I have had 2 really hard babies. My first one was hard, but I didn't realize it until later. It was just she and I and I could give her everything, and so we were okay. She learned to talk very very young, and so then she could articulate her needs, and that helped a lot. She still is very emotionally intense, and has a lot of separation anxiety, but she's okay. I don't know that she was actually high needs, though. I think maybe "asperger tendancies" might be a better explaination.
My second one. Sigh. He is 4 tomorrow, and I still feel all sick inside when I think about his infancy. He screamed until he was 2, a lot. He would have good happy times, but he was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. You never knew when it would be all over. I couldn't walk down my driveway without him being hysterical. All the people who say that "you should just put them down, you need to take care of you..." Well, what would you do if you saw someone writhing in agony on the side of the road. A really intense, tough situation. You'd STOP, and do whatever it took to care for that person, right? Even if it meant you had to go without for yourself for a day or so, right? Well, that's the kind of intensity that we are talking about. Except, the intensity never goes away, and some of us don't have people to help us. Some of us had to do it on our own. When your baby is crying hysterically, you don't just "put them down so you can eat supper." And, even if you do...do you know that tapes of such things are played to TORTURE people, to create high stress environments? It's not like your blood pressure calms down, or you get any mental clarity when trying to "take a break and relax" while your infant or small child is sounding like the are being poked repeatedly with a pin or something much worse. Ds would push me, he'd throw himself. I was weak and dizzy from exhaustion. I couldn't eat wheat, but I couldn't put him down to cook. So, I lost a lot of weight quickly. There were no snacks I could have easily. I was also caring for my then 2yo dd. It was awful.
And, OP...yours sounds much harder. No, people don't understand. They don't understand that there is a problem with your child. If someone had a child who was 5 and wasn't potty trained yet, lots of people might have harsh things to say. But, if that child had a problem with their kidneys...people would shut up.
Well, my ds had a lot of issues going on. I am SO thankful that we were able to figure them out. But, it wasn't my fault he had them. And it was RIGHT to be compassionate and give myself to an itty bitty person who was hurting. And it's isn't someone's fault if they can't figure it out either.
OP, you are getting help for you son. You have given yourself to him. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that most people would have lost their minds by now. Tell yourself how awesome you are. Tell yourself you have what it takes. You are amazing. You are his mama. And he will always thank you for it.