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Plus size moms to be? Need help dealing with body hate. - Page 4

post #61 of 193


I haven't been on here too much b/c honestly started this pregnancy not plus-size (for the first time in 6 years I was actually feeling pretty good about my size, which is not small but seemed "normal" to me). But the bathing suit has me wanting to share: I splurged on a "Panache" swim top (went to a brick-and-mortar shop and tried it on with a professional fitter) and oh my goodness, it is SO supportive. Like a really great bra. But a swimsuit. (I am a 34 G and hopefully don't get too much bigger before summer is over. But when you are a G cup, as those of you who are know well, nothing short of major engineering is comfortable to wear for any length of time). I decided to go for a bikini this summer. It may be the only time in my life that I actually wear a bikini. I am a lot lighter than in my second pregnancy (right now at 23 weeks I am up 14 lbs from pre-preg weight, which is bumming me out a little, but I have to remember that I am probably more than 15lbs less than I *started* my second preg at) but now that I bought the bikini I feel sort of... committed... (well, 95% of the time I will be swimming at a private family spot on a small lake so its not like I am wearing this out in public.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

Interesting re: suit top; it did seem quite supportive, so good to know it might be worn outside the pool too. I tried on one at KMart and my goodness, how they expect that top (it was a halter) to hold anything in or up is beyond me.

 

And FYI I also got a new Anita underwire nursing bra (also 34G) at the same store and its great! I love their fit and support. I've now nursed for over 4 years (two different kids) and probably have at minimum 3 more to go considering I have a current nursling and then the baby... I am so relieved to have what feels like a "real" bra to wear. (I've never had a problem with underwire nursing.)
 

 

post #62 of 193

That's great emma. I've gone to a good bra store in the past & been very happy with the bras I got. They were so professional & helpful & didn't even blink when I said I thought I was a G. Most other stores don't know what to tell you about that predicament except that they can't help you!

 

I just wish the good bras at this size weren't SOOOOO expensive. I'd love to get a couple more but at $100 each it's a big investment & I know my size is a little transient at the moment (with being pregnant, then breastfeeding & (hopefully) weight loss) I'm hesitant to spend so much on something that will only fit for a couple months.

post #63 of 193
Thread Starter 

Im so glad to see this thread is still going, I am horrible at responding but I do read.

 

I have been a bit better with regards to accepting my body and the husband has freaking finally figured out what to say to make me feel better. I had a break down last night during sexy times and he was so sweet.

 

I stepped on the scale for the first time since my 6 week issue to find that I have gained 10 pounds in 25 weeks...Im hoping thats not a huge number but it really made me panic.

 

Good news is I have managed to get my blood pressure under control and while I was running in the 190's/90s Im down to the high 120s and 130s/80s which I know it not great but its so much better!

 

 

post #64 of 193
Ladies, how do you handle the looks when you go out in public greensad.gif ? We went out to eat this weekend, and I noticed several people looking at me like they're wondering if I have some sort of fat problem. I told DH I need a sign or T-shirt that says "Yes, I am actually pregnant, with twins even, and not just fat" greensad.gif . I find people either look at my chest (I'm rather well-endowed), or my belly, and never at my face greensad.gif .
post #65 of 193
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeguard View Post
I just wish the good bras at this size weren't SOOOOO expensive. I'd love to get a couple more but at $100 each it's a big investment & I know my size is a little transient at the moment (with being pregnant, then breastfeeding & (hopefully) weight loss) I'm hesitant to spend so much on something that will only fit for a couple months.

yes well I just got one and I do hope that even if I get more giant after the baby, I will still eventually shrink down to fit this again for a bit. It feels so good to have one bra that fits right now though. And the fitter was *so* nice and professional about it all.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by DragonflyMom View Post

 

I stepped on the scale for the first time since my 6 week issue to find that I have gained 10 pounds in 25 weeks...Im hoping thats not a huge number but it really made me panic.

 

Good news is I have managed to get my blood pressure under control and while I was running in the 190's/90s Im down to the high 120s and 130s/80s which I know it not great but its so much better!


I don't think 10lbs sounds like much. Its less than I've gained at least ;)

And great on the blood pressure!

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama~Love View Post
I noticed several people looking at me like they're wondering if I have some sort of fat problem. I told DH I need a sign or T-shirt that says "Yes, I am actually pregnant, with twins even, and not just fat" greensad.gif .

My advice is, first of all, a t-shirt isn't a bad idea :) but also to remember that people are so afraid of making a mistake the other way. I have 2 IRL friends who are actually quite thin, but they kind of have permanent "bellies" after their kids, and both have been on numerous occasions mistakenly congratulated (or once, a teenager at legoland told my friend she couldn't go on the roller coaster with her kids, and wouldn't believe her even when she argued about it that she wasn't pregnant!) Anyway, imagine the mortification of making the assumption that someone is pregnant when they are not...

 

post #66 of 193
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama~Love View Post

Ladies, how do you handle the looks when you go out in public greensad.gif ? We went out to eat this weekend, and I noticed several people looking at me like they're wondering if I have some sort of fat problem. I told DH I need a sign or T-shirt that says "Yes, I am actually pregnant, with twins even, and not just fat" greensad.gif . I find people either look at my chest (I'm rather well-endowed), or my belly, and never at my face greensad.gif .


I have the same problem sometimes. Even though I haven't gained any weight, I look like I have. If you know I'm pregnant, you can tell, but otherwise it just looks like I have a big tummy. I usually handle it by assuming "pregnant pose", with my hand resting on the top of my belly. I also try to wear shirts that make me look more pregnant. I find that my barely-fitting pre-pregnancy tops make me look fatter and not more pregnant. 

 

As far as getting a shirt that says something, I have a tanktop that's a beach-type coverup that says "beach baby" on it, and a long t-shirt that says "Good things come to those who mate". Motherhood has some cute tops with messages that point out a little more subtly that you're pregnant. :D

post #67 of 193
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post #68 of 193

I love all the activity on here! 

 

Trinket90 -  I was thinking you might be able to hit your salt craving and feel nutritious if you try out some tamari almonds and tamari sunflower seeds. We're sposed to eat lots of nuts and seeds, and tamari is salty and tasty. I really like the almonds mixed in with cottage cheese, which is also a little salty. I think the Brewer bp diet says to salt to taste, so don't feel bad.

 

emmaegbert - Yay! I wish we could see your bikini! I wish I had a bikini, but it seems like something I'd almost never use. Most of the swimming I do is kind of vigorous, and I like my swim clothes to stay ON when I'm swimming, plus I don't spend much time for lying in the sun since my skin type is an instant sunburn,  I'm going to a body positive conference (NOLOSE!) with lots of pool lounging time in a couple weeks though and it would be the perfect time to break out a bikini (and about a gallon of sunblock). 

 

Lifeguard - I am wondering, do those plunge bras work for you? My Cacique DD plunges still seem to fit, even though they fit fine before my breasts started on their great pregnant expansion. It seems like magic, or maybe the plunge is just flexible somehow. 

 

Dragonflymom - goody on the controlled bp. That is such a big deal. About weight gain, I was reading the other day on WebMD how weight gain in pregnancy includes some 20-25 pounds of "nonfat stuff" just for the baby: 8 or so pounds of baby, 2-3 pounds of placenta, 2-3 pounds amniotic fluid, 2-3 pounds of boob, 4 pounds of blood supply, and 2-5 pounds of uterus, even leaving aside any additional fat stores (5-9 pounds) for delivery or breastfeeding. Even though I am pretty sure I don't need the last one of those, since I already have ample fat stores, that is 20-24 pounds of essential baby stuff. It can't ALL happen in the last trimester! To gain nothing all pregnancy would be the equivalent of losing weight during pregnancy, which I'm told is something we shouldn't set out to do, since converting fat causes ketones to be released into the bloodstream. Still I don't think it's anything to kick ourselves over, for those of us who have lost a little or aren't gaining any weight yet.

 

 

oh and Mama~Love, I'm sorry you are feeling unpleasantly stared at! Maybe it will help to remember that looks in public can mean a lot of things. We primates really can't help peeking at something unusual and interesting, like a belly that sticks out. I think it is easiest just to focus on what I am doing and who I am with and ignore any stares. This is mostly easy, because it isn't other people's business to discuss what your belly is doing, pregnant or not, and most people know it. If someone forgets and says something inappropriate, you can see it as a teaching moment or really let them have it. Most of the time nobody who is looking says anything, because they were not raised in a barn. Also, keep in the back of your mind that you really don't know what people are thinking--some of those looks can be admiring or lustful. It is hard to imagine that when you are feeling body dismorphic, but there are a lot of folks out there who get off on larger women or just plain find them beautiful, whether or not it is socially accepted to do so. I tend to check out larger women just to admire their style, and if they catch me doing it I always try to smile in a nice, not-creepy way. 

 

post #69 of 193

nmouse - I don't think I know what a plunge bra is.

 

I have most definitely lost weight this pregnancy (about 30lbs) & didn't gain anything with ds in the last trimester (thank you gd) so I suspect I will end this pregnancy at a decent drop from where I started. I am VERY curious to see what that will look like & amount to on the scale a week pp.

post #70 of 193

These are plunge bras. I hadn't heard of them before either until my friend took me bra shopping. I tend to be bra-impaired.

post #71 of 193

Well, almost 24 weeks here and I'm really not showing at all, still.  I just looked at the belly thread again (Why do I do that??) and am just so jealous of those sweet baby bumps.  

 

I don't worry about strangers looking and wondering (because I still just look big), but it's awkward to have people you KNOW see you at 6 months pregnant with no baby belly.  Very awkward.  So....I have just started wearing things that LOOK like maternity shirts/dresses (empire waist, looser than normal, etc)  that give the illusion that there *could* be a bump happening.  Sigh.  

 

The same thing happened with DD, I really didn't have any baby belly at all until maybe...8 months?

 

I'm trying really hard to stay positive this time though...and to dress in a way that is comfortable and stylish (or as stylish as a size 24 gets, anyway).  I'm trying to push out of my comfort zone (wearing dresses for example) I normally avoid showing any leg whatsoever, but I'm starting to feel like....People are going to think I'm huge whether I show my calves or not...so screw it, I might as well be cool instead of hiding under long, hot clothing.  I always felt that trying to look stylish was pathetic because I was so obviously bigger than "stylish" permits.  So...starting small(so to speak)......I bought myself a fabulous purse/diaper bag...wearing jewelry and scarves...dressing to be cool and comfortable and relaxed...I've even been swimming a couple of times recently- I bought a swim tank and a pair of shorts which was much easier to wear around people than a one piece (no way in hell are people seeing that much!)

 

I'm glad you're all still around - it's nice to have people who relate.  I wish I had the more common problem of worrying about what having a baby was going to do to my skinny body!

 

 

post #72 of 193

I wear a lot of dresses while pregnant, especially having been pregnant in the summer before. One, they needn't be "maternity" to work, Two, also nice for post-partum Three - if they are made from a non-iron-needing material, like jersey, they are lightweight and just have to throw them on to look put together. They are a work staple for me.

 

I have a bump, but it isn't a nice, neat round one. I am hoping that since I have been gaining so much less than I did with DS, that towards the end I will have a nice round bump. I need to take a new pic to share.

 

All my Cacique bras still work for me right now (I bought these about a year PP) - they are balconettes - but I haven't gained much in the boob area, except just being more full.

 

I didn't do anything with my hair during my first pregnancy and it looked awful (roots all grown out and stringy), this time I am making an effort to have cuter, more effortless, hair. it helps alot!

post #73 of 193

I am over weight too...just looked at the plunge bras...did not even look as if they were holding their boobs up...could not handle that....

I have not had a bra that fit in 5 years....way too expensive.

 

I am working a little now so I might just splurge on one and pray that it will get my through pg and bf. when I am at home I do not wear a bra-which is only margianally more comfortable that wearing the crapy fitty ones I do haave......and I hate the feeling of not wearing a bra!!!!

 

I get paid tomorrow so maybe I will go saturday to try to get fitted somewhere...fingers crossed.

 

I am already grown out of all of my extra large mat clothes...I have one pair of 1x motherhood secret panel pant that I still fit and adore....got them for 8 or 10 bucks at once upon a child....yippee!!

I can only wear stretchy tops or they just seem to "shrink" until I feel squeezed by them!

 

my bathing suit drama is insane,,,I finally found this 80's cast off mat suit at the second hand store that fit...I wish we had target here....saw someone here show a great non-boob spillage one :)

 

luckily I have no issues with the baby bump....I am short and my belly gets huge...

 

I love reading along with this thread!! it took me a long time to post a belly bump in the thread because I went from big gut to baby belly in days at around 14weeks.

 

I have always planned to lose a ton of weight b4 I got pg again so that I coul wear cute clothes and have that adorable little basketball bump....oh, and maybe even get an outy belly button-but alas that dream is over!!!

 

Jane-I love that shirt and yes mommas, if you can afford one def get it....they have great shirts on cafe press, but I bet no p[lus size ones.....grrrrr

 

I might try the iron on stuff that you print your own image from the computer to put on a + size top....will look for a plain top on clearance at the second hand store Sat!!

post #74 of 193

 


seriously this bikini is WAY more supportive and stays in place better than most one-pieces I've had... my boobs are just to big to fit into most normal suits. Anyway, I'm spending the summer in the way north of NY State (kind of near Ottawa) and I'll be working until mid-afternoon. So, I am not going to be baking in the noon-day sun, just swimming in the lake every day in the afternoon, with sunscreen :)  Okay I won't say anything else about it. I haven't owned a bikini since I was 14. I will now have to have the guts (or, should I say, I need to have the chutzpah to ignore my guts) to actually wear it. July first I'm heading up there, so bikini, here I come.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by nmouse View Post

emmaegbert - Yay! I wish we could see your bikini! I wish I had a bikini, but it seems like something I'd almost never use. Most of the swimming I do is kind of vigorous, and I like my swim clothes to stay ON when I'm swimming, plus I don't spend much time for lying in the sun since my skin type is an instant sunburn,  I'm going to a body positive conference (NOLOSE!) with lots of pool lounging time in a couple weeks though and it would be the perfect time to break out a bikini (and about a gallon of sunblock). 

post #75 of 193

I didn't realize that style of bra was called plunge. I've tried them - they always look so nice but my boobs just kinda "fall" into the centre & I end up with four bulges & wire digging into my underarm. I know I've gotten the size right so I think it is just not the right style for my body. They do look nice though & one day I dream of having a bra that actually looks a bit sexy & not just utilitarian!

 

My baby bump is pretty obvious & looks ok as long as I am wearing something that hangs well over (ie doesn't fit tightly across my lower belly) & my underwear/skirt/pants are not tight halfway across my belly. When I look at my belly naked it makes me sad 'cause it's nice & round & hard at the top but the bottom is all fat & hangy (sigh - kind of embarassing!). I would NEVER show someone my naked belly if I didn't have to.

 

I am still having underwear woes. What ever happened to the old fashioned high maternity underwear that came high on your belly with a soft, elastic lace top? I've resorted to wearing the largest full brief I could find at wal-mart. They do come over my belly (therefore not creating that dreaded line in teh middle of my tummy) but they also hang off my butt & go halfway down my leg. They're VERY unattractive & I must admit I feel awful wearing them. Sigh.

post #76 of 193


Just a piece of advice--if you go to get fitted, don't go to JC Penney, or Victoria's Secret. Macy's' is better if you have to go to a department store like that. If you can, though, go to a Playtex/Bali or other actual bra store, or to a maternity store that offers bra fittings. I used to be the lingerie specialist at Macy's and did TONS of fittings, in addition to being large-chested myself, and I heard so many horror stories about some of the stores and their horribly inaccurate fittings. The last thing you want to do is spend a fortune on a bra that won't fit. I got fitted at a Playtex outlet and they measured me about the same as I had measured myself, and the Motherhood where I bought my bras confirmed the measurement and gave me some advice about buying a bra that would last pre- and post-baby. I love the bras that I got there.

 

Good luck finding some that fit! I wore the wrong bra size for years, until I learned how to measure, and finding one that felt good and did something for me was the most amazing feeling!

Quote:
Originally Posted by saoirse2007 View Post
I get paid tomorrow so maybe I will go saturday to try to get fitted somewhere...fingers crossed.
post #77 of 193
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trinket90 View Post


Just a piece of advice--if you go to get fitted, don't go to JC Penney, or Victoria's Secret. Macy's' is better if you have to go to a department store like that. If you can, though, go to a Playtex/Bali or other actual bra store, or to a maternity store that offers bra fittings. I used to be the lingerie specialist at Macy's and did TONS of fittings, in addition to being large-chested myself, and I heard so many horror stories about some of the stores and their horribly inaccurate fittings. The last thing you want to do is spend a fortune on a bra that won't fit. I got fitted at a Playtex outlet and they measured me about the same as I had measured myself, and the Motherhood where I bought my bras confirmed the measurement and gave me some advice about buying a bra that would last pre- and post-baby. I love the bras that I got there.

 

Good luck finding some that fit! I wore the wrong bra size for years, until I learned how to measure, and finding one that felt good and did something for me was the most amazing feeling!

I am in canada, but there is a special underware store in the next big town that advertises bra fitting in their window....I will try it and hope that I can afford one of their bras...if not run with my new found knowledge to an Additionelle store, still pricey, but I have a friend who works there and might be able to give me a discount :)

 

 

post #78 of 193

If you watch Addition Elle does fairly often have a bra sale that is something along the lines of 50% off the second bra. Not too bad. I like their sports bras but have not had any of their others that was very supportive.

post #79 of 193
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeguard View Post

If you watch Addition Elle does fairly often have a bra sale that is something along the lines of 50% off the second bra. Not too bad. I like their sports bras but have not had any of their others that was very supportive.



Definitely.  They also have great coupons if you have a membership! I got $120 worth of clothes for $35 last week!

post #80 of 193

I finally did a new picture! this is me at 28 weeks (today!)

 

still have only gained a total of 5 lbs, so I am a bit leaner than I was with #1, and little girl seems to be riding lower than my little boy did. (hard to say, as I don't have a 28 week pic of me pregnant with him, just a 30 week one).

 

How is everyone doing?

 

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