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Please encourage me NOT to quit my nanny job.

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

**I also posted this in working parents forum**

 

 

Here is the deal. I have not worked since my 6 year old daughter was born. She started 1st grade this year in a private school (we homeschooled last year), and I also have a 19 year old that still lives with us. I started thinking that I should probably find a part time job because we need the extra money, but I didn't want to have to put my daughter in after school care. So a friend of mine told me she knew a lady looking for a part time nanny. It got me to thinking about nannying. I thought it would be the perfect fit because I like being around kids, the pay is good and if I needed to bring my daughter on her days off from school and in the summer I could. I ended up getting the job. I have been doing now for 5 months. It is only on Fridays and it's for two boys, ages 2 and 4, and it's from  8 to 5:30. Yes, it pays well ($13/hr), I can bring my daughter if I need to so I don't have to pay for daycare, it's only one day a week and it only involves very light housework. I put away 2 loads of already washed and dried laundry and then make sure to clean up after any messes the boys may make. So why do I dread it so much??? I thought it would be fun because I really like being around kids, but this is WORK. It's not enjoyable to me. Maybe it's because I'm older now (40) and because it's not my own kids, but I find it harder than I expected. I took them to story time at the library this morning. I thought it would be a good way to get out of the house and the boys would find it fun. First off, it was a total chore to get them dressed and ready to go. The 4 year old complained about not wanting to go and the 2 year old, well, he was being 2. They don't listen well at all. They tune me out half the time and I have to repeat myself numerous times to get them to do what I need them to do. Anyway, we get to the library and it was great...for about 20 minutes. Then they both started getting squirmy and rambunctious. The 2 year old fell out on the floor and threw a fit because I wanted him to stay by me instead of running all around the library. It's frustrating because neither one of my kids acted like this, and I want to make sure I don't discipline too harshly because they are not my own. I also dread having to change the 2 year old's poopy diapers and wipe the 4 year old's poopy butt after using the bathroom. There is just something about changing other kids' bottoms.

 

Fridays roll around and I find myself hating to have to go nanny. I have thought about just getting a different part time job, but where the heck am I going to find something that pays this well with this much flexibility? And I really don't want to put this family in a bind by leaving. They were hoping for a 2 year commitment from me; although, they have the option of sending the boys to the mom's job's onsite daycare, which is where they go the other days of the week. She just likes to give them a day at home.  But I also think I would be happier working with other people/adults. I am just wondering if I am in a season of my life where I am needing to do something for myself that doesn't involve taking care of kids since my kids are not that little anymore. I just feel so guilty feeling like this. I feel like such a a failure/wimp that I can't handle ONE day a week with these boys. Again, I love kids. So what the heck is wrong with me? Should I just suck it up? And for the record, so nobody wonders this, I am very good to these boys. I am in no way mean or intolerant with them because of me not wanting to do this job. I love children and feel they are precious. I bake for them, do crafts with them, go for walks, etc. because I am really trying to do a good job since this is my job. I also try and think if I had a nanny how would I want her to be.

 

 

 

So...thoughts, suggestions, encouragement? Help!

 

 

post #2 of 6
Thread Starter 

Oh, and one more thing. The 2 year old is constantly sick with thick, very green, goopy gunk in his nose. It has been like this since I started. I don't like it when my daughter has to come with me and is around his sickness.

post #3 of 6

It is very hard for me to care for other people's children in this way. A few hours here and there is no big deal but it is extremely draining even for only a short time, and I have small children myself. I also tried to be a nanny for a while, similar situation, but I just could not do it. I dreaded it every week even though I liked the child (he was a baby) and he was not difficult to deal with or anything. I stopped after a few months and I will not try it again, it's just not for me. I had a friends kids for an entire day a few weeks ago and it was so incredibly taxing. She is one of my best friends but her kids don't listen to me and it was just very hard for me.

Some of it depends on the kids, though. One of my best friends asks me to watch her kids every once in a while and it is so emotionally taxing, if she wasn't a very good friend I would say no way. But her kids don't listen to me, and one of them is in diapers. I am NOT good with poop. lol.gifI have another friend who I am not as close to and I don't find watching her kids to be difficult at all. They are kind and respectful towards my family and my home. But I don't think I could spend an entire day once a week doing it. So I'm not going to try to convince you to stay. I completely understand your desire to keep the job for all of it's benefits but you have to figure out if they are worth it for you. They wouldn't be for me, I don't think.

 

 

 

post #4 of 6

I'd quit. It sounds like you really hate it and dread it all week.

I am not great with other people's kids for more than 1-2 hours.

You have your own 6 year old, so your mommy like energy probably needs to be reserved for her.

Around here people make (at the least) $20 hr for cleaning a house.

They can listen to their ipod and be done in 3 hours.

Personally, I'd MUCH rather clean and be done, than deal with other people's toddlers.

Could you find one or two houses a week for the extra cash?

post #5 of 6

Sorry I can't. LOL I am in the same boat. I started watching a friend's baby 4-5 days a week while she works. I did not mind it the first 2 months but had this week off since my middle son was sick with strep on Monday so she had another friend watch him. I have him tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it. LOL I mean I know the day will go fine but I really enjoyed our normal life without the baby around. So I have been debating telling her I am done as soon as she can find someone else as well. Good luck in your decision.

 

Lisa

post #6 of 6

Maybe it would help to change up your routine with the boys.  Is there anything you would enjoy doing with them?  Maybe go for a walk somewhere new, or have a playdate at a park with some other kids their age or something.

 

Maybe it's also the time of year or something, people are feeling that it's spring and want to change things up in their lives.

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