"When J. Crew sent out its latest catalog, we doubt that the classic clothing company expected it would be blasted by social conservatives as "transgendered child propaganda." But alas, it has.
The images in question fall under pages titled "Saturday with Jenna" -- featuring products personally favored by J. Crew president and creative director Jenna Lyons and her family. This particular Saturday for Jenna includes painting her five-year-old son Beckett's toenails pink. The caption reads, "Lucky for me I ended up with a boy whose favorite color is pink. Toenail painting is way more fun in neon."
What a ridiculous thing to get upset about. My 3 year old son loves to paint his toenails; currently each toe is a different color. Bright colors are fun! Why should girls get to have all the fun?
Seeing stuff like this makes me realize how lucky I am to be surrounded by reasonable people in my daily life.
If you agree that boys should be free to wear pink (whether it's a shirt or nail polish) and girls should be able to grow up to become president, then share this very important, very timely song by passing on this link!
These people really need to stop being so uptight about a frickin' colour.
A colour, that up until the late 40's, was a boys colour. Seriously, there are people alive still who were alive and kicking when pink was what you dressed your sons in!
What is truly ridiculous about this whole thing is that pink was considered a "boy color" and blue considered a "girl color" up until the 1940's.
My good friend just let her 3 year old son get his ears pierced to the horror of her family; not because he was three and getting a body modification, but because he's a boy and we just don't DO that to boys. Puh-leeze!
Quote:
"If the roles had been reversed and the photo...had been of a little girl playing in the mud with trucks, nobody would have batted an eye."
I've seen pink shirts for men in the department stores, so it's not total taboo in our culture, just unusual. I think more people are coming around to the fact that girls and boys alike don't care about "gender specific" things unless someone keeps telling them otherwise. Do boys graviate toward certain things that girls don't and vice cersa? Sure, but that doesn't mean it's exclusive to that gender.
If people are afraid their sons won't be "manly"...and we all have different definitions of what manly is...I think they need to first and foremost cultivate honorable character in their sons instead of automatically complying with and relying on society's gender pigeon-holing to do it.
And I don't think that a five year old having fun with his mom & nail polish is flame-worthy. But then, I carry my infant son in a pink and orange mei tai and my other son loves his apron & play kitchen, so....
To each his/her own. Personally I wouldn't paint my son's toenails any color. Or pierce his ears for that matter. My family and I are okay with gender roles. What others do is their business.
To each his/her own. Personally I wouldn't paint my son's toenails any color. Or pierce his ears for that matter. My family and I are okay with gender roles. What others do is their business.
I don't think painting nails or ear piercing is who a child is. Children can absolutely be who they are without certain things. There are many things I wouldn't allow my kids to do/wear, but I don't think I am stifling who they are, just guiding them until adulthood.
I don't think painting nails or ear piercing is who a child is. Children can absolutely be who they are without certain things. There are many things I wouldn't allow my kids to do/wear, but I don't think I am stifling who they are, just guiding them until adulthood.
Part of who someone is, is what they enjoy. Why deny your child the joy of doing something they enjoy just because someone, somewhere decided arbitrarily that it's not proper for their biological sex?
Now I can see not allowing a boy to paint his nails if you don't allow nail polish. For instance, I (female) was not allowed to paint my nails until middle school so if my brother had been allowed at an elementary schooler just because he was a boy, it would have seemed quite unfair. I also wasn't allowed to pierce my ears until I was 18. My brother wasn't allowed to pierce his not because it wasn't masculine but because it wasn't allowed. We both ended up with piercings before 18 but they weren't done with parental consent. Little sis on the other hand had a totally different set of rules and painted her nails from toddlerhood and got her ears pierced at 13. I think it was partially because she was the baby of the family and my parents loosened their strictness a lot and partially because she was *really* in to fashion from the time she could express an interest.
Hey, i had 2 sons and put them in pink onesies and they BOTH GREW VAGINAS! I mean that's what we're worried about here right? That boys will do something that's "for girls" and then somehow become girls or lose their precious, fragile masculinity.
I think there is nothing wrong with a parent painting their kids nails (any sex, any colour). I do think though that when this makes the big news sites there is something wrong with the MEDIA.
There are two issues here and they don't really go together. One is a preschooler who just wants to have fun and wants his toes a bright color because it's fun, and he is too young to care that it's supposed to be for one gender.
The other issue that has been getting a lot of press lately are the little rainbow boys. Boys like my son who have passed the age of just fun because it's fun, and who actively prefer girly toys and things. My boy is 8 and wants his fingernails pink all the time. On occasion I let him. His favorite colors are pink and purple and he loves makeup. He knows it's girly but still likes it. He's my third son, and all of them at 3 or 4 would have wanted polish on their toenails for fun. But around 5, they would have refused the pink balloon even if it was the last one available. My youngest son at 8 only wants the pink balloon.
We who are trying to parent little rainbow guys have a harder time because we know that after the age of 5 or 6, we may be looking at a boy who will be gay, but we want to keep all sexuality out of it as our kids are innocent and deserve a free and innocent childhood. But we have to prep them and explain to them that when their friends see them in girly things, they might laugh, they might ask questions, they might even ask if you are a girl.
And of course we get crap from other adults, as if forbidding our kids from playing thusly will keep them straight. Yeah, right.
The only great thing is that sometimes adult gay men will get tears in their eyes when they see what I support in my son, and openly praise me and wish their mothers had been as accepting.
My 3 year old son loves "sparkle toes." My only concern would be if 1) the parent was using regular quite-toxic nail polish and 2) applying it often. I am personally not a fan of dark nail colors on children so I limit it to clear, pinky beige and the most loved sparkle spink and when old enough to not pick at it/consume.
We who are trying to parent little rainbow guys have a harder time because we know that after the age of 5 or 6, we may be looking at a boy who will be gay, but we want to keep all sexuality out of it as our kids are innocent and deserve a free and innocent childhood. But we have to prep them and explain to them that when their friends see them in girly things, they might laugh, they might ask questions, they might even ask if you are a girl.
Hate to burst your bubble, but your son who likes pink and purple and everything girly, is no more likely to be gay that any boy who spends his time playing "boy" games, and wearing "boy" clothes, and turning his nose up at "girl".
Hate to burst your bubble, but your son who likes pink and purple and everything girly, is no more likely to be gay that any boy who spends his time playing "boy" games, and wearing "boy" clothes, and turning his nose up at "girl".
Wow, I never expected to be met with meanness on this forum. That is sad.
People who have little elementary aged children who like gender opposite things have no idea if their children will grow up to be gay, but certainly there is research evidence that they might. And these parents are given an inkling of it. If you have a gender "norm" elementary age kid, of course they still might grow up to be gay, but the parent of course has no inkling.
I don't think I said anything to deserve your mean response.
Hate to burst your bubble, but your son who likes pink and purple and everything girly, is no more likely to be gay that any boy who spends his time playing "boy" games, and wearing "boy" clothes, and turning his nose up at "girl".
Wow, I never expected to be met with meanness on this forum. That is sad.
People who have little elementary aged children who like gender opposite things have no idea if their children will grow up to be gay, but certainly there is research evidence that they might. And these parents are given an inkling of it. If you have a gender "norm" elementary age kid, of course they still might grow up to be gay, but the parent of course has no inkling.
I don't think I said anything to deserve your mean response.
I don't think that Musician Dad was being mean, merely pointing out that gender roles are not always tied to gender preference. Assuming that they are merely adds fuel to the fire that allowing things like pink nail polish might "turn" someone gay. Many boys who know that they are gay will actually strive for ultra masculine behavior to try and blend in. I think that is what MD is trying to say.
Kudos from me on parenting your little boy. It has to be hard knowing all the angst the world has in store for his identity choices.
Hate to burst your bubble, but your son who likes pink and purple and everything girly, is no more likely to be gay that any boy who spends his time playing "boy" games, and wearing "boy" clothes, and turning his nose up at "girl".
Musician Dad, it sound s to me as if Fullhouse is really coming from a maternal instincts point of view with her son. Though I think the important aspect of what she conveyed is that she is nurturing him outside the expectations of mainstream society. I know from experience that with family, friends and (sigh) complete strangers in a parents face over alternative choices it can be exhausting for any parent.
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