Master on the Main

[marispel]

Oh boy - we purchased a house and will be moving next month.  The new house has the Master on the main level and the 3 secondary bedrooms upstairs.  I was perfectly OK with this until my DH said to me last night - "you're going to get alot of exercise with all the checking you do on DS".     Now, I'm nervous.   DS, 31 mo, still sleeps in his crib and does fine, but the thought of being so far away from him all of a sudden scares me.     Before bed I check on him about 3 times and then sometimes in the night if I think it is too cold or too warm.   

Anyone else out there with the Master on the Main?  How did everyone do?

[Chamomile Girl]

Hmmm...well forgive my ignorance because I have never lived in a house that large, but couldn't you either:

1. Have all your bedrooms upstairs and use the master bedroom for some other purpose (office, craft room and playroom come to mind)

2. Set up the master bedroom as a whole-family bedroom and have DS's upstairs room be just for his stuff.

I know people often sleep on a separate floor from their kid/s but I would not be comfortable with that arrangement. In fact when I was a kid my parents slept upstairs and I was down...alone...and I had night terrors for years because of that.

[Peony]

If it was my house, I'd be using one of the other bedrooms on the same floor. In our house, it is opposite, master upstairs and the other bedrooms downstairs. Our rule is a parent sleeps on the same floor until a child is old to get themselves out of the house in the middle of the night. We live in a very safe rural area, and I am not an over protective parent, but this is one of the very few things outside of my comfort level, especially in a larger house like ours. So yeah, the huge master suite has been a waste of space the 4 years we've been in this house!

My neighbor down the street has a 3 story house, she has her two children, 3 and under on the bottom floor and she sleeps on the top. She obviously has no issue with it. She keeps child gates on all the levels, so the children are gated downstairs at night in case of wandering. I know she used to keep a video monitor on the 16 month old, but I don't know if she does anymore or not. I know she hasn't on the 3y in quite some time, years really.

That would be one suggestion is to keep a video monitor on him so you could check that way.  

[crunchy_mommy]

Yeah, I wouldn't be comfortable with it (then again, I can't even imagine not sleeping in the same BED as DS, never mind a different level!) We only have 2 very small rooms upstairs, but when DS wants/needs his own bed, my plan is to turn the downstairs bedroom into a playroom and move our bed upstairs too. I figure even if we have more kids, the younger ones will sleep in our room and the older ones can share the other small room (probably need to share a bed or get a trundle bed because the room is too small even for bunks!) Then when they get older they can spread out in the 2 upstairs rooms & DH and I can move back downstairs. LOL I have it all planned out, even though all I have is one 2yo!!

[Skippy918]

DS is on the 2nd floor and we're on the first.  We have a video monitor for his room.  He's fine up there by himself. 

[Chamomile Girl]

Originally Posted by Skippy918 

DS is on the 2nd floor and we're on the first.  We have a video monitor for his room.  He's fine up there by himself. 

Forgive me for asking, but how do you know? This is something I think about often lately while I struggle with the sleeping arrangements here (not to hijack the thread, but...).

[philomom]

Nope, that wouldn't fly with me. You bought this house on purpose? For real, mama?

I'd move myself to the upstairs until the kids weren't so little. I did a fair amount of nighttime parenting until my kids were school age.

[SilverFish]

philomom, your post comes across as a little condescending. parents shouldn't buy houses with bedrooms on different floors? it's not wrong to sleep on a different floor, just different levels of personal comfort and based on individual circumstances. anyway, i personally wouldn't have my dd sleep on a different floor from me, unless it was an open split-level set-up. i would want to be able to hear movement and crying really easily and be able to get there in a short amount of time. we live in a tiny apartment currently, so it's not an issue, but when we stay with my parents, i find it very disconcerting to put her to bed in the guest room and then go upstairs where i can barely hear her. we are moving to a large apartment in a few weeks and in fact are not going to be using the room meant as the master because the other bedrooms are at the other end of the building, near the front door. it's not really a safety issue so much as convenience and being able to soothe her back to sleep more quickly (well, and also i don't like wasting big rooms on sleeping... the master bedroom is going to be our big work room/office). all that said, furniture is moveable! you can try out as many different configurations as you like and keep changing them as your family grows.

[marispel]

I guess I should say that DS does STTN and we use a monitor that works very well.   He goes to bed at 8:00ish and wakes around 7:00ish.     We *could* use an upstairs bedroom as our room, but my DH would not be too happy about that.  We do plan to use that as a guest room so I guess on nights when DS is not feeling well then I could sleep in there.

I grew up with my parents sleeping on the main, so when purchasing the house I didn't think of it as a big deal, but now - I just feel like I'll miss my little guy.

So yeah - we did buy this house "on purpose" - (that wasn't a very helpful comment..btw)  - I was just looking for support from those who have BTDT.     Thanks anyway.

[EviesMom]

I'm in an apartment and my kids bedroom is still upstairs from the extremely tiny "master." Video monitors helped a lot when getting us all used to the set up. The only thing I would watch out for is when he potty trains but still needs help, and moves out of the crib into a bed/toddler bed. It'll just take more trying out of different things. Maybe a little potty upstairs that he can use more easily at night, that kind of thing.

I worry about DS going down the stairs to the bathroom (no bathroom upstairs here) and about trying to come downstairs alone. We have a gate, but honestly, DS is 3.5 so he doesn't usually need a gate during the day. And he is a climber and scaler, so I've been debating if the gate is actually more of a danger at this point. 

[philomom]

Sorry, I guess none of you have had the "toddler on a death mission" experience. No way could my son have slept on an entirely different floor than me.... without me literally locking him in his room. He was Danger Boy!

[hildare]

curious to read this thread.  we have a similar situation.  right now, we have a family bed with MOM (hahaha) and bedrooms upstairs.  we also have a smallish room that is 'dd's room' with her toys and stuff (smaller than an actual bedroom might be, not sure what previous owners did with it exactly) and a mattress on the floor montessori style (which we haven't made any moves into yet, sigh.) BUT we're actively ttc and..  that tiny room's not big enough for 2 babes..  at any rate, i imagine it would depend on your child. 

chamomile g.. do you think that if the babe in question was unhappy he/she wouldn't let that be known?  our dd sure would at this point...  i could probably hear her screaming anywhere in our house/yard when she wakes up unhappy... ;)   i imagine as an older child she'll still be that vocal.. were your parents receptive to your concerns about sleeping alone or did you not say anything?!  that makes me worry about the future bedroom situation for us, dd will indeed live on a separate floor one day. 

and, philo-- we bought a house like that.  on purpose.  for several reasons.  one is we got very lucky to find awesome land and a house we were ok with, but for another reason... we have friends with teenagers, lots of them ( i am an older mom) and.  it's not fun to have a house with bedrooms close together AND have teenagers.  sometimes they tend to like loud music and staying up late and sometimes moms and dads like to have loud private moments.  i'm just sayin'. 

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by marispel 

I guess I should say that DS does STTN and we use a monitor that works very well.   He goes to bed at 8:00ish and wakes around 7:00ish.     We *could* use an upstairs bedroom as our room, but my DH would not be too happy about that.  We do plan to use that as a guest room so I guess on nights when DS is not feeling well then I could sleep in there.

I grew up with my parents sleeping on the main, so when purchasing the house I didn't think of it as a big deal, but now - I just feel like I'll miss my little guy.

So yeah - we did buy this house "on purpose" - (that wasn't a very helpful comment..btw)  - I was just looking for support from those who have BTDT.     Thanks anyway.

Well it sounds like your DS will be fine... like a pp said, transitioning out of the crib may pose some additional challenges but other than that, if he STTN & doesn't really need you, I don't see the problem, and you could sleep in the guest room if he gets sick or something... I wouldn't be comfortable with it but it doesn't really sound like YOU are all that uncomfortable with it, just that it will be a bit of an adjustment for you that you hadn't anticipated... and I'm sure you will adjust just fine!

[4Marmalade]

We recently moved to the master bedroom which is located downstairs while the other 3 bedrooms are on the main floor (split level bungalow).  For a long time we were upstairs while we co-slept with our children and night parented them while they went into their own beds.  I was apprehensive about moving downstairs but it has been a good move.  My youngest two will be 3 in June and sleep for half the night in their bed in their room and then they come downstairs and crawl into our bed.  We have a monitor and can hear everything going on upstairs.  We can hear their footsteps as they walk down the hall.  All of our dc's know they are welcome to come see us when and if they need us (and they have).  We have also slept with them in their beds if they are sick or need us.  

[Coconut Chronicles]

Originally Posted by hildare 
we bought a house like that.  on purpose.  for several reasons.  one is we got very lucky to find awesome land and a house we were ok with, but for another reason... we have friends with teenagers, lots of them ( i am an older mom) and.  it's not fun to have a house with bedrooms close together AND have teenagers.  sometimes they tend to like loud music and staying up late and sometimes moms and dads like to have loud private moments.  i'm just sayin'. 

this is exactly why we bought our house which has a Master on the main level.

I have a 20 month old. He's been STTH for a long time. When he is sick one of us will usually sleep in one of the guest rooms upstairs near his room. This has only happened a handful of times though and has never been an issue. We have a monitor but can also hear him just fine even when it isn't turned on (I'm a light sleeper). 

[Skippy918]

My son STTN also.  His room is directly above ours, so I can hear him as well.