Mamas of skinny toddlers, how do you handle food throwing?

[lizsky]

I've heard to just end the meal and try again later.  And I've heard that DD (13 months) will eat when she is hungry.  But it happens every time, and DD is always reluctant to eat.  

If DD was average weight I wouldn't worry if she went for a while without consuming much.  However, DD has not been gaining weight...She has gone from the 75th percentile to barely on the chart.  My Ped and I are not too worried since this has coincided with her crawling and walking, but we'd like to see her weight increase.  (She still nurses a good bit.)  So I'm wondering:

A) How should I handle this behavior since distracting & redirecting aren't working?

B) At the same time, how can I make sure DD gets enough calories?

[HappyMommy2]

how much nursing exactly???  my dd at 13 mo nursed for calories, had food just for learning/playing.

I would nurse her a lot, and provide very tiny amts of food at a time (only as much as you want to clean up)

what about yogurt or smoothies in a sippy to help gain weight...?  there are lots of threads on foods to help them gain...

[KellyandBean]

We are in same boat here, DD was in the 5% at her 12 month visit and i'm positive isn't even on the charts anymore at 14 months. She went through a food throwing phase at the 13 month mark as well but it was short lived. We just shook our heads no and gave a disaproving look and said, 'we don't throw food, Sabine' and that seemed work eventually. I think It was her way of saying she didn't want it. If she throws food i would offer something else that she seems to enjoy and if she throws that too then i would just end the meal because she probably isn't hungry. Also maybe work on a word that means that the meal is over. I donno if you LO is saying any words yet but my DD just picked up "all done" because we started saying it every time we were transitioning to another activity (all done vacuuming, all done washing our hands, all done getting your diaper changed etc) If she catches onto a word and starts using it instead of food throwing that might be a little more pleasant haha. Might not work but maybe worth a try?

Something we did as well was to only give her a few bites at a time on her tray to avoid cleaning up big messes and to try to trust her to know when she is hungry. Sometimes i panic a bit about her not eating but then i try to remind myself that sometimes toddlers can survive just fine off from breastmilk only for days on end. If she is still nursing she might be getting most of her needs filled with that. I'm sure at some point they will go through major growth spurts they will put them back on the charts again!

[KellyandBean]

oh and another thing- try to make sure you aren't nursing for a while before each meal so that she is actually really hungry. I try to make sure it has been 2 hours since she nursed before i give her food. Back when she was a 'baby' it was always nurse before food and now i guess it is supposed to be feed food and THEN nurse.

[marinak1977]

[cristeen]

When food starts deliberately hitting the floor, mealtime is over. This has been my rule from the start. When he was that age, many days it meant that mealtime lasted 90 seconds. And he was only getting one meal/day. Somewhere around 16-17 mos he really started packing the food away and his liquid intake drastically dropped. Now meals can take 45 minutes. But so long as hes eating or playing nicely (no food throwing), i'm happy to leave him in his chair until he asks to get down (he can and does say "all done" about 80-ish% of the time). He knows how to ask for more food and i'll offer him more before i take him out, but if he repeats all done, i take him at his word, even if it means he walks right over and grabs his bottle off the table.

[SilverFish]

i concur, at 13 mos, my dd was only just starting to eat serious amounts of food. previous to that, nursing was definitely the main source of nutrition and her consumption of solids was spotty at best. i would just keep nursing as much as possible and make sure everything you are offering is super packed with nutrients and fat... this is not the time for applesauce and steamed broccoli! anyway, as for food throwing, my dd has two kinds. one is just curious, "what happens when i drop this?"... doesn't necessarily mean she's done eating. the other is VERY obviously a "i don't even want to look at this piece of fruit" drop and then we know she's done eating. but i really try not to push it. i might offer one other thing if it's on hand, and then meal time is over and we can try again in a couple hours.

[akind1]

We did a mix of (and still do, to a point) of spoon feeding and finger food. With finger food, if he starts throwing, he's done. Not just because I won't tolerate the throwing, but it has been his way of saying he's done. (maybe not the best way, but there it is)

I agree, babe needs to be hungry, so always offer solids first, then nurse. at 13 months, DS was still nursing a bit, but we were cutting back. (he is completely weaned now, at 17 months; I got pregnant around his 14 months, and my supply dropped drastically, and there was no more by the time he was 15 months or so)

Will your LO take things from a spoon? DS will his yo-baby yogurts. we also found he loves the fruit and vegetable pouches, and stock up on those. FWIW, at 17 months, I think (I don't trust my home scale very much when it comes to his weight, he wriggles too much now) he is 22ish pounds, maybe 23. and tall. He is on the charts, but has kind of stuck to the 15% for weight, and 80th for height.

When we started really introducing more solids - around 11-12 months, I think, the easiest meal was breakfast. He was definitely hungry and would gobble whatever I fed him. It was the first nursing session we dropped (he was still nursing 1-2 x a night then, those night sessions were the last to go).

[D_McG]

They were done once they threw food but I did a lot of feeding on my lap on the couch. I can't stand having someone on my lap at dinnertime (at the table) but I snack a lot and was happy to share snacks on my lap.

I also massively cut back nursing but that was for a bunch of reasons.

[HidaShara]

DD was at the bottom of the charts at that age, and from about then onwards (she's now 2.5 y.o.) she was below the charts and dropping. She's so far below the charts now (23 lbs at 33 months) that I don't even look anymore. And she's completely healthy. No allergies, digestion issues, behavioral issues, nothing. She's a very active, happy, short and skinny kid. So forget about the chart, IMO.

DD is also a reluctant eater. Not that she's picky - when she feels like eating, she will eat all kinds of crazy foods that most kids avoid. Her favourite foods are fruits and vegetables. Broccoli and cauliflower. She's not very big on carbs, and actively avoids sweets. The most common reason she's avoided something is because it's "too sweet". She eats small quantities often (I am a-ok with healthy snacks anytime anywhere), and a lot of the time would simply just rather be doing something else than eating.

We make her sit at the table with us during meal times whether she feels like eating or not. When she was younger, if she was clearly just playing with her food and making a mess rather than eating, we'd move the food away from her and she'd just have to wait until we were done. If she wanted the food back, we'd give it back, but only until the next thing was thrown on the ground. Usually she'd just play with something else less messy until we were all excused. But I'd leave her food out or in the fridge, so that if/when she expressed interest in eating again, she could go back to it.

I don't think that anywhere in the Western world right now, we need to worry about kids "getting enough calories" unless you're really not able to put food on the table. They get the calories they need. Some kids are just tiny, is all. Just as not all adults are big eaters, neither are kids! Goodness knows I've never been a big eater myself, it makes sense to me that my daughter should be similar.

[lizsky]

Thanks for the ideas mamas!  I've been working on prompting DD with verbal phrases coupled with signs "please hand that to mama if you don't want it" (holding out my hand) and "all done" (with a sign), but it hasn't been working very well, and I think maybe she isn't ready to communicate like that yet.  

I think I will try ending the meal the 1st time she throws.  I haven't been doing this because just when I think she's only throwing and not eating anything, she will decide to eat a few more bites... and because I worry (probably too much) about her weight, the extra bites make me feel better.  But I probably need to give this idea a chance so I'll try to be more consistent for a few days. 

I'm reluctant to increase her nursing sessions because given my age, we're ready to try for baby #2  and I suspect my supply will drop if I get pregnant.  But I appreciate the ideas about timing of nursing sessions and mealtimes and I hope that I can tweak those a bit.