The not listening thing is my main trigger as a parent. I start raising my voice and before I realize it I'm yelling. I'm trying to come up with other ways of handling it so I can stop falling back on the yelling.
Let me give some examples of this. I'll be cooking dinner and DD asks for a drink of water. I say "OK" and put down what I'm doing, rinse my hands, get out the cup--and the entire time she's asking over and over, getting whinier and whinier, "Can I have some water? Moooooom, can I please have some water? Mooooom, I want some water!" And I'm answering back, "Yes, I'm getting you some. Yes, I'm getting a cup out. See, I'm filling it up." It's like she's checked out and isn't paying attention.
Or she's playing with her brother & sister and tries to force them to do exactly what she wants, and they don't want to do that. They start crying, I tell her to stop it (she's taking their toy, dress up outfit, etc) and I have to say it like 7 times and physically intervene to get her to even acknowledge that I'm talking to her.
Sometimes I can get her to stop her body and look at me to let me know she's listening, but most of the time that is just not practical. And other times that doesn't work, like when I tell her to go put on her pyjamas, "can you tell me what I want you to do?" and she says "I have to go put on my pyjamas"...and then she goes off to continue playing like she was before. She knows what I'm saying and just doesn't chose to do it.
So...what do you do?