My Mom's dog nips at DD - Page 3

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by lonegirl 

I am sorry....I didn't elaborate....I was on my way to work....as a vet tech

This can be a serious issue.  Honestly.  I have seen it.  A child should be taught to never take a dog's toys/food etc.  It is asking for trouble.  Even a beloved, trusted family dog can get annoyed with this.  I have seent it happen...i have seen pets put down because for "some reason" they turned on the child in the family...and with probing we discover that oh the child "always" plays keep away and chase, and loves to take his toy and never before has the dog cared...there comes a point where the dog may care and get annoyed.  I know I get get annoyed when someone keeps taking my stuff...I may not say something at first but if it happens enough time I may snap. 

I am familiar with this topic....I think 16 years in the field has given me some insight to dogs in general....sure not your dog in specific....but dogs in general.
 

You basically proved my point, those people think that the dog snapped at the kid "for some reason" which essentially proves that they don't know what they were doing with the dog, weren't paying close attention and have little knowledge of dog behavior. I am not one of those people

I appreciate your experience as a vet tech. I have literally been involved with dogs my entire life. My father was a breeder (not a great one) my aunt who I used to work for in her kennels is a highly respected breeder still, it blows my mind she can command over 2 grand for one of her lab puppies at this point, they have super soft mouths and the hunters love that. I have volunteered at animal shelters since I was 16 (thanks to a family member working in one I was allowed to be there younger than they usually allow)...I consider myself equally as experienced and I appreciate that you know what you are talking about.

The way my daughter interacts with my dog is something I watch closely and monitor I am comfortable with what I see. My dog lives in a house where she needs to be ok with having things taken from her without asking her permission first. This may be rude but it is a fact of life. If another toddler came over and grabbed something from her I expect her to behave the same way. She doesn't have the luxury of assuming all humans she interacts with will play out the proper social cues in order to retrieve a toy from her. That is the bottom line in my house. I expect certain behavior from my dog and she exhibits. I will never EVER fault my dog for getting annoyed, it is my job to read/see the cues of that annoyance before something bad happens. I do my job, I am ever vigilant. I trust my dog immensely but I have ZERO illusions about the fact that she is a dog that can loose her patience. 

I appreciate your continued concern but if you keep insisting I am doing imminent danger to my dog and my daughter I'd just prefer you to stop posting although of course I can't control your actions. My only hope is that you really read what I have written and appreciate that I TOO know what I am talking about.
 

[sapphire_chan]

And your dd knows 100% that she can't play with other dogs the same way. And you are prepared to supervise their interactions to watch for your dog getting annoyed until your dd is old enough that you'd be okay with her getting bitten if she misses the dog's cues. Sounds like it'd work.

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan 

And your dd knows 100% that she can't play with other dogs the same way. And you are prepared to supervise their interactions to watch for your dog getting annoyed until your dd is old enough that you'd be okay with her getting bitten if she misses the dog's cues. Sounds like it'd work.

she knows alright. She isn't allowed to so much as TOUCH another dog without our express permission which we of course wait to have from the owner. 

This was actually seriously tested when we took doggie to a rabies clinic (10 bucks a pop is a million times better than the cost of a vet visit for us!) and DD was amazing. We had to wait in a line surrounded by other dogs for over a half an hour and DD wanted to stand a lot even though I tried to hold her. I told her to not touch any other dog at all and she only needed a couple reminders. She never even reached her hand out to touch one. She wanted to, bad a couple of times but she listened to me and that was impressive to me for her age, she is almost 2...

As far as supervising their interactions yup to that too. As I said before I am very aware of any animals ability to shift from happiness to annoyance. DH thinks I watch them almost too closely. It might look like I am watching closely if they are playing on the floor together but I always have a close eye on them. It is just second nature. I appreciate the possible danger in any interaction with any dog and I would never forgive myself if our dog got annoyed to the point where she bit DD and I failed to see the signs of annoyance before it reached that point...

Phew, sorry for the mouthful!... I will add that it is a major pet peeve of mine when other children come up to my dog, even though she is very friendly with children, and just reach out a hand. That says a lot about the what the parents of those kids are not teaching them about dogs. I hate it and DH is on the same page with me that we absolutely expect DD to NEVER touch another dog without our permission...obviously when she is older she can ask to pet a dog herself but she MUST always ask, it's not even a question, I hope it is drilled into her head like a reflex as she gets older.

[McGucks]

I am with the posters who say to keep the dog and your child apart.  It is easy to give advice that you don't have to take, but this is advice I had to follow.  MIL's dog was known to be extremely aggressive to other dogs and even people, including MIL (she was injured repeatedly, but tried to hide it so we wouldn't be scared off--she even lied about the fact that the dog bit another one of her grandchildren).  Even so, she was very offended by my request to crate the dog when we visited.  We insisted.  She eventually had to have the dog put down.  Offer to meet your mom in a neutral location or insisted that she be crated every time, all the time, period.  The risk to your child is real and present already.  Don't let it go further.

[mattemma04]

 I lock my dogs up in an area via baby gates. In your case I would want a door between the dog and child. If my mom would not lock up the dog then SHE would have to visit me without the dog. If she had a fit well to bad.

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by mattemma04 

 I lock my dogs up in an area via baby gates. In your case I would want a door between the dog and child. If my mom would not lock up the dog then SHE would have to visit me without the dog. If she had a fit well to bad.

yeah the one time this dog was separated by a baby gate she did a vertical jump over it about 5-6 feet into the air. It was amazing and infuriating. 

Then we tried putting the gate up a little higher and she literally just busted through it. A baby gate will never stop a big determined dog...

Oh that incident had nothing to do with DD, it was so a guest in the house wouldn't be uncomfortable because the damn dog was barking at her the whole time and the girl was afraid of dogs...I don't blame her in that instance.

[Casha'sMommy]

OP, I'm a little late in the game and only have a minute before heading off to bead but something came to mind while reading about your situation.

Would you mom visit their vet with you and allow you all to discuss the concerns you have? I'd imagine they wouldn't mind too much especially if you were willing to pay for the visit?

I hope things go well.

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by Casha'sMommy 

OP, I'm a little late in the game and only have a minute before heading off to bead but something came to mind while reading about your situation.

Would you mom visit their vet with you and allow you all to discuss the concerns you have? I'd imagine they wouldn't mind too much especially if you were willing to pay for the visit?

I hope things go well.

Hmm this is a very good idea. I am interested to speak to a professional in dog health at least and see what they have to say about my concerns. I also think it might be easier for my mom to accept what I am saying if her vet echoed some of the same concerns...Unless of course the vet didn't agree with me but seriously what vet wouldn't pick up on the red flags I have mentioned here if I was talking about them?? Ugh, personally I think so much of it goes back to her getting this dog at 5 weeks...Absolutely unacceptable and then on top of that not socializing it really really well has only led to problems..

It's funny when I brought my dog with me on a visit once my mom INSISTED I bring a muzzle for my dog who had scared their dog the last time...Turns out my dog behaved perfectly well and her dog was the one causing problems all weekend. It was very stressful on everyone because their dog would snap at our dog the whole time...They would play alright but then my dog would walk past the toy bin or sit on the dog bed and their dog would get super possessive, I won't fault a dog for getting possessive around another dog but all weekend I had to hear about my "bad" dog stressing out their Miss Precious Perfect...

[Think of Winter]

I have a suggestion for you, based on my own mother and her relationship with her dog.  If it isn't too late, when you talk to your mom, I would leave any judgments about the dog out of the conversation.  I wouldn't suggest a diagnosis, I wouldn't go to the vet, I definitely wouldn't mention that she isn't socialized and left her mother too soon.  That approach will immediately put her on the defensive.  She'll feel like you're attacking her dog, and her.   I'd just  say very simply that you are concerned about dd's safety, and though you want very much to visit her and spend time with her, you can't be around the dog.  

Edited by Think of Winter - 5/20/11 at 7:44am

[insidevoice]

I had this issue with my parents when DD was little. I simply held firm to my statements that they needed to be kept crated/away from DD at all times.  If that didn't happen, I picked her up and went to another room.  If that wasn't respected we didn't visit.  It was pretty straightforward.  It took about a year before they figured out that I wasn't going to just go along with them, but they did get it eventually.  

They even reached a point where they verbalized that I had been right and they apologized.  Those dogs died of old age over the past few years and they have two new dogs who are fabulous, they've been socialized with the kids and are really good.  My parents are also better at reading the dog's signs (one of them will eventually be overwhelmed by two toddlers) and sending him off to the bedroom to be alone. 

I think you have every right to say you aren't able to visit if they are unwilling to keep the dog away from your daughter.  Of course, I would also say I was unwilling to visit at that distance more than a couple times a year- that's just insane when they can travel without having to make your daughter ride in the car for so long.